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Mario

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 07:15, 23 June 2010 by Yoshit (talk | contribs) (OF COURSE!)
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

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Name: Mario
Appears In: Super Mario World
Sex: Male
Age: 27
Occupation(s): Plumber
Played By: Peter Cullen/Captain Lou Albano/Walker Boone/Ronald B. Ruben/Charles Martinet

Mario is a notorious character who stars in many great games, and Hotel Mario. He is usually seen with his brother, Luigi, who has been known to have multiple personalities, and Princess Peach, who bakes him cakes and gets kidnapped every time she steps out of her castle. Mario likes to claim things are "good" at times, and has claimed himself to be the master of UCTIONS, a known power supply to the universe.

Mario has had several conflicts with his brother, arguing where the princess is, over Luigi's craftsmanship, saying that "he didn't make it", and an argument over a record.

Mario has an obsession with saying NO very dramatically, talking about instruction books, the Coney Island Disco Palace (which was torn down hollowed-out in 1999), humping vines, and riding Yoshi on certain occasions like Cave Christmas, and when he's too lazy to walk. He also seems to know the location of fires by locating smoke, and pinching currency in his spare time.

Mario is also the creator of the Cave Christmas holiday, which he endorses by dressing up as Santa Mario.

Mario had also met the cowboy known as Tex Avery, the two of them had a partnership in Youtube Poop.

He is not to be confused with Fat Mario, Mario's fat stunt double in Hotel Mario or the deceased Real Mario, his wrestling counterpart.

Likes

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Whale Mario
Mario in the rare form called Homestar Mario.
Mario's new golden trophy.

Dislikes

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Here's a common artist's wrong intrepretation of what Mario's like when he finds a mushroom.
Bowser Jr. has invaded Mario's page!
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Mario riding on an inflated light blue Yoshi.

Quotes

Mario had a cameo appearance in the second Ouendan! game.
Mario Mario

It's-a me, Mario!

Mario Mario

Heh Heh, that's-a going online.

Mario Mario

You didn't tell me that you had a secret weapon Luigi.

Mario Mario

It's a stone Luigi. You didn't make it.

Mario Mario

Luigi, King Koopa's locked the Princess in his Coney Island Disco Palace; I've fought my way out, and I've been looking for you ever since. We've gotta go back and rescue her!

Looks like Kirby's got some competition in these parts. In other unrelated news, Mario loves listening to some mushroomhead.
Some say this picture was the reason why Mario went to outer space without a spacesuit... twice.
Mario Mario

Ugh, now I know how a meatball feels.

Mario Mario

And there's this nice guy named Santa Claus, who brings presents to all the kids, who've been good.

Mario Mario

You know what dey say - all Koopas scoop koop!

Mario Mario

SUPER BONERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mario Mario

NO! Suck my big, fat meatballs!!

Mario Mario

Maybe we'll see you on "PBS"!

Mario Mario

Let's-a go!

Mario Mario

Mamma mia!

Mario Mario

The store, she's-a so rich... she'll-a never notice!

Mario Mario

Hey, Robotnik! Do you want to play DOOM?

Mario Mario

Hey!! What's-a taking so long? I got to go to Jamaica!!

Facts

Mario's not only a metalhead, but he's also a rapper. Now that's multi-tasking!
  • One time, he, along with Luigi once wrestled against some dinosaurs.
  • Does not want to see Leo's baby pictures (although Leo thinks otherwise).
  • His own feet actually made it into Screwattack's little ol' Armory.
  • Mario pretends to be a selfless hero, but in reality he only saves the Princess so he can get laid.
  • Discovered a taste sensation called Koopameat, which Bowser tried to counter with Scoopa Koopa's.
  • Is the inventor of the Dino-Copter and Tossed Salad.
  • Was a referee in the NES' version of Punch-Out!!
  • He was once complimented on his hair by Don Flamenco.
  • He hates the fact that in some parts of Mexico and South America, a fighter named Terry Bogard is more popular than he is.
  • If you were in Club Nintendo of 2009 & you had a platinum status, you could choose to either get a code on November 1st to download Doc Louis' Punch-Out!! game on the Nintendo Wii's Wiiware or get a (good) replica of Mario's hat. Mario would automatically approve of you if you chose his hat over Doc Louis' Punch-Out!! game!!!
  • He has a micropenis that could get Super Boners.

Forms

Mario, much like his brother Luigi, is a unique character. As through a series of random events, many duplicate versions of Mario (which will be referred to from here on out as 'forms') have been created.

During the events of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, Mario teleported back to Brooklyn but goofed up to form Luigi Mario and another time caused it to reappear. Only that time, it happened to Luigi. That form has three different versions of it.

One time, Mario went to King Koopa's palace and he somehow became Good Truthful Honest Totally Depraved Evil Insidious Giant Ninja Mario. Some say that he's just a rumor, but the only one who truly saw was King Koopa... and he's now dead!

After Mario traveled through time in Mario's Time Machine, Mario ended up gaining a few extra pounds. Little did he know, he would become Gay Luigi's butt-buddy named Fat Mario. During a vacation that he was on, he ended up being called a retard by the public. This led him to end up being a new form called Retard Mario. One time when he was traveling to the Mushroom Kingdom yet again, he ended up getting his head chopped off by some demon. That ended up getting his head chopped off with an axe. That ended up making him the evil form called Mario Head.

During a day in August on Dinosaur World, he wanted to teach the Cave People all about the niceness that is Christmas. Unfortunately, they didn't know about it, so he ended grabbing Yoshi as a reindeer and a sex slave and ended up being Santa Mario, which always arrives on time during Cave Christmas.

One day, Mario ended up watching too many shows like Scrubs, E.R., and House. This made him think he's a doctor, thus forming Dr. Mario, who can also sing.

When Weegee was popular at the tiem, he made people his minions. However, he also had a father named Fortran and a brothe named Malleo. Those two are both forms of Mario and they're evil.

Despite having many different main forms, Mario is pretty much dressed the same way for most of his forms. Skin tone and hair color may vary throughout. Voice may vary as well.

Known Forms of Mario

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Fat Mario, reading about his other forms on the Chewiki.
  • Whale Mario - A form that denies being related to the other forms.
  • Good Truthful Honest Totally Depraved Evil Insidious Giant Ninja Mario - A form of Mario that's obviously a giant ninja. However, he's conflicted on being perfectly good and perfectly evil.
  • 1 Eyed Orange Mario - A form of Mario that has been rumored to be created by some evil Satanic ritual.
  • Fat Mario - Gay Luigi's butt buddy on the journey to defeat the mighty toasters and save the Princess from Bowser.
  • Retard Mario - The weakest of the main Mario forms, Retard Mario's only special attribute is that he is easily confused by dicks.
  • Mario Head - Was created when a demon cut off Game Mario's head with an axe. He now exacts revenge on humans by making them fly for you... in to Mario's Tunnel of-a Doom!
  • Paper Mario - A paper form of Mario. Yep.
  • Dr. Mario - Becomes that when Mario watches too much House, Scrubs, E.R., and other shows like that. Is unique due to the fact that he also appeared in Super Smash Bros. Melee, which meant that Dr. Mario could fight Mario whenever he wanted to. Wow.
  • Paper Dr. Mario - A form of Dr. Mario that met Paper Mario one day. Don't ask.
  • Game Mario - Not Mario.
  • Fortran - Also not Mario... at all.
  • Mari - A form where Mario fights like he's in Street Fighter II.
  • Somari - A fucked-up fusion between Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog. Pretty much self-explanitory.
  • Malltranari - What happens when Malleo, Fortran, and Mari gets fused together. May God help us all if that happens.
  • Santa Mario - Mario doing the good deed of Santa's doing for the Cave People during Christmas.
  • Malleo - A very powerful but silent form. Also a dead meme, like Dog Flipping A Pancake.
  • Anime Mario - A video gaming messed-up Mario.
  • Shadow Mario - Is not really a form of Mario, but rather a clever disguise made by Bowser Jr.
  • Homestar Mario - Mario while in Homestar Runner's universe.
  • The Simpsons' Mario - Mario as he's seen with yellow skin. Why they don't a Luigi version of him, I'll never know. Actually, he did appear with Mario once, so yeah.
  • Giant Ninja Mario - Basically the same thing as Good Truthful Honest Totally Depraved Evil Insidious Giant Ninja Mario, only he's confirmed what side he's on.
  • Bloated Mario - Appears when Mario swallows too much water or Chuckola Cola. Not to be confused with Fat Mario.
  • Referee Mario - Mario as a referee during boxing matches. Is seen in the Punch-Out!! game with Mike Tyson and Mr. Dream.
  • Luigi Mario - Formed when Mario wears Luigi's clothes/steals his voice.
  • Wario - Not really Mario, just some stupid rival. He ended up getting his own identity by his WarioWare Land series.
  • Real Mario - The real live-action Mario who used to live in Brooklyn with Real Luigi until he died.
  • Mario Mario - The fake live-action Mario living in Brooklyn with Luigi Mario, the fake version of Real Luigi.

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