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From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Name: Bowser
Appears In: Mario Series
Sex: Male
DOB: 1945 (age 76–77)
Nationality: English
Occupation(s): Evil King of the Koopas
Played By: Issac Marshall/Scott Burns/Eric Newsome/Kenny James

See King Koopa for more information.

Bowser is a giant Koopa (read: turtle) that is found in Mario games, in which he is known to Fat Mario as "BOWSUH". He has an obsession with ruining picnics and Gay Luigi. He was featured on Youchew Trading Card #5 with the following description:

"With a creepy laugh, the ability to appear out of bushes without ever getting caught, and a color palette that looks like he crawled out of a vat of pea soup, Bowzuh runs a chain of Koopaling-owned hotels despite not knowing how to spell.....or talk.....or how to count to eight so that his son Larry could have a hotel of his own too. As a result of using these hotels as a ploy to capture the princess, they seem to get condemned and uncondemned rather frequently, often by a peskey plumber. He also owns a patent for Sourpuss Bread for some reason, but it's actually quite renowned for its toast making possibilities."

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{{#ev:youtube|6PR091pD-mQ|320}}Bowser utters his very first actual word in this poop. It's at the very end.


King Bowser King Bowser


King Bowser King Bowser


King Bowser King Bowser


King Bowser King Bowser


King Bowser King Bowser


King Bowser King Bowser

Nooooo! You've really beaten me this time, Mario! I can't stand losing to you!


  • Translators state that Bowser's a Gidrovlicheskiy engineer with Shui Shui difficulties. This has yet to be confirmed.
  • He can only laugh.
  • When asked why he ruins picnics, he just laughed and scratched his crotch, hinting that he has crabs.
  • For some reason, he finds it hilarious whenever Fat Mario and Gay Luigi walk under a hotdog-shaped archway.
  • Bowser has the ability to mysteriously change size from game to game. He can be as small as Mario, as large as a whale, or become anywhere like that in between.
  • He once pissed on a painting of Mario that was hanging in the Louvre.
  • According to Malleo, Bowser apparently has gay sex with Link in his spare time.
  • Despite that he is a villain in most Mario games, he has appeared as an Anti-Hero in a few games, such as Super Mario RPG, Super Paper Mario, and Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story.
  • According to Dr. Mario, he has HPV.
  • One time, he jumped out of the Nintendo 3DS and burned off Reggie Fils-Aime's face.
  • He has a form called Dark Bowser, which was the result of the Dark Star copying his DNA and transforming into an eviler version of him.
  • In the SSB series, he has a form called Giga Bowser. This is caused by him eating to many burritos and getting ridiculous gas. Where the electricity comes from is still unknown.
  • Bowser appears in the 2012 Disney film "Wreck-It Ralph"
  • In 2009, he suffered serious facial injuries after his castle tipped-over on to his face. This was after his kids flipped him on to his stomach after suffering yet another defeat from the Mario Brothers and 2 Toads.
  • Cries as Mario and Yoshi taunt him after returning everything that he stole from the past.
  • Likes chugging bottles of champaigne after a victory in Mario Kart.
  • Makes Waluigi draw nude drawings of him, just like his French girls.
  • Has his own day, August 4th (8/4).


In 2006, Bowser was killed when Mario sent him falling in to the firey pit of lava, which somehow killed him then, even though it didn't kill him in 1985. His bare skeleton was resurrected by Bowser Jr., turning him in to Dry Bowser. Eventually, he was resurrected in full, and still lives to this day.