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Difference between revisions of "Dr. Robotnik"
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− | {{ | + | {{Char}} |
+ | {{featured}} | ||
+ | {{CharBox | ||
+ | |name=Dr. Ivo Robotnik | ||
+ | |image=Eeeeeevil.jpg | ||
+ | |shows=Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog | ||
+ | |sex=Male | ||
+ | |dob={{Birth|1948}} | ||
+ | |occupation=Evil scientist | ||
+ | |cast=[[Long John Baldry]], [[Grounder|Ga]][[Megatron|ry ]][[King Hippo|Ch]][[Dhalsim|al]][[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|k]], [[Disney|Jim Cummings]] | ||
+ | }} | ||
+ | [[Image:SatAMrobotnik.jpg|thumb|Not Robotnik.]] | ||
+ | [[Image:Picture 1.png|thumb|Robotnik after having one too many chocolate brains.]] | ||
+ | '''Dr. Ivo Julian Robotnik''' is a highly popular [[Youtube Poop]] character and the arch-nemesis of [[Sonic the Hedgehog]]. | ||
− | [[ | + | He is not to be confused with [[Dr. Eggman]], his evil twin brother from the new-gen ''Sonic'' games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything. |
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
− | |||
==Career== | ==Career== | ||
− | Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became [[Super Robotnik]], openly talked about his childhood, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands, became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown | + | [[Image:STHCS1.jpg|thumb|left|This is, what, the twentieth time his call has been disconnected?]] |
+ | Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became [[Super Robotnik]], openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands (with a little help from [[Freakazoid (character)|Freakazoid]]), became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married [[Bill O'Reilly]], possessed [[King Harkinian]]'s body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful [[Uctions|Chaos Emeralds]], got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of [[Wario]]Ware Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over [[Toon Disney]], and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of [[Robotnik's emporium|his own emporium]]. But nobody cared so they separated. Sometimes, he makes a living by selling lemonade... ''poisoned'', of course. He once starred in a TV show with Terry Hargon, in which they argued over a letter from Throbbin Screetch. He is also currently the world champion of [[Tekken]] 15: Dark Blood Revenge. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Despite the fact that his parents said that he wouldn't amount to anything, Robotnik has had a very successful career, as you can see. | ||
+ | |||
+ | In The King's Epic Adventure timeline, Dr. Robotnik is cast as '''Eggman''', an eventual adversary which the King will eventually face, and a recurring antagonist throughout the series. He most often appears in a subplot away from the King's main quest in which he recruits Tomo to the SSSSS squad, subsequently develops a great infatuation with her friend Yomi, and is otherwise committed to stopping Sonic and all who take his side, which happens to eventually be all of the ongoing protagonists. | ||
==Presidential Run== | ==Presidential Run== | ||
− | It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an [[Vorhias|elaborately designed]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPfniwoQ_rk campaign video]. No other characters have announced their intentions to run | + | It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an [[Vorhias|elaborately designed]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPfniwoQ_rk campaign video]. No other characters have announced their intentions to run (aside from [[Rudy Larriva]], although he has not said a word about it since) but many are expected to follow suit. |
+ | [[Image:RobotnikOnAHorse.GIF|frame|right|One of Robotniks's evil schemes in progress.]] | ||
+ | Robotnik won the presidential election by a wide margin in 2008. He plans to run again for the 2012 presidency, and so far it is rumored that [[Lex Luthor]], his long-term rival, will also run against him. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==To Do List== | ||
+ | Tomorrow Robotnik will: | ||
+ | *Invent those blueprints. | ||
+ | *START | ||
+ | *Invent the [[PINGAS]] | ||
+ | *BLEEAAAHHHHH!!!! | ||
+ | *Invent a sewer plugged with [[Shit|crud and sludge]]. | ||
+ | *Invent [[Professor Von Schlemmer|Schlemmer]] in the cooler. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ==Likes== | ||
+ | *Himself | ||
+ | *Buckets of chicken [[balls]]. | ||
+ | *His [[Game Boy]] | ||
+ | *[[chincherrinas|Smash Bros. Lawl]] | ||
+ | *[[Sex|Fucking With]] [[Scratch]]. (Whether Scratch sucks him orally or Dr. Robotnik does him anally or something similar like that is something that they both don't really matter on.) | ||
+ | *The [[Muppet Babies]] | ||
+ | *Eating a wagon wheel | ||
+ | *Going out, out, out the door | ||
+ | *Strawberry Shortcuts | ||
+ | *[[You]] | ||
+ | *[[Porn]] | ||
+ | *The [[KKK]] | ||
+ | *[[Satan]] | ||
+ | *Sprite | ||
+ | *His special [[Super Robotnik]] [[form]]. | ||
+ | *Putting out the Bushroot. | ||
+ | *His [[Pingas]]. | ||
+ | *[[Soda Popinski|Soda Popinski/Vodka Drunkenski]] | ||
+ | *[[Sex|Sodomy]] | ||
+ | [[Image:Gdfg.png|thumb|right|Scratch, Grounder, Coconuts! Guess what I have!?]] | ||
+ | *[[Morshu|Getting Richer]] | ||
+ | *Being a super genius. | ||
+ | *Having inventions that actually work. | ||
+ | *Blood | ||
+ | *[[Me]] (Especially if the "me" voted for him.) | ||
+ | *[[Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery|Fat Bastard]], his best friend. | ||
+ | *[[Racism]] | ||
+ | *[[Eggs]] | ||
+ | *Tacos | ||
+ | *[[Lucinda]] | ||
+ | *[[Darkwing Yak]] | ||
+ | *[[Rock TV|TV]] | ||
+ | *Free games. | ||
+ | *AC/DC | ||
− | + | {{VidCaption|HP8bWiaWoWk|Robotnik singing his [[No|favorite song]].}} | |
− | Robotnik | ||
− | *[[Sonic | + | ==Hates== |
− | *[[ | + | {{vid|K1yneJSJx3E}} |
+ | [[Image:Robotnik30.jpg|thumb|left|Dr. Robotnik and his giant phone.]] | ||
+ | *[[Sonic|THAT HEDGEHOG]] | ||
+ | *[[Mario]] | ||
*When he loses to [[Froggo]] over a bucket of KFC. | *When he loses to [[Froggo]] over a bucket of KFC. | ||
− | * | + | *"That Chimpanzee" |
− | *Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in Brawl | + | *Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in [[Super Smash Bros. Brawl]].) |
+ | *[[Da Bears]] | ||
+ | *[[Insane Clown Posse|Clowns]] | ||
+ | *[[Snake]]s | ||
+ | *Alligators | ||
+ | *Action 52 & The Cheetahmen (But who doesn't?) | ||
+ | *[[Animal Soccer World]] & everything Phoenix Games has ever touched. | ||
+ | *[[Pickle Surprise]] | ||
+ | [[Image:Image4.jpg|thumb|[[Scratch]]: [[Yes|Dr. Robotnik's true love.]]]] | ||
+ | *Every single rebel on Mobius. He wants them all blasted out of existence. | ||
+ | *[[King Harkinian]] | ||
+ | *His evil twin [[Dr. Eggman]]. | ||
+ | *[[Smirking Bitch]] | ||
+ | *Candy | ||
+ | *Wishes | ||
+ | *[[Donald Trump]] (Fires people that he gives promotions.) | ||
==Skills== | ==Skills== | ||
− | Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's KFC nearby. | + | Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's [[KFC]] nearby. |
− | Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. | + | [[Image:RobotnikNo.jpg|thumb|right|Need any help?]] |
+ | Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. This was caused after he accepted a part of the Gum-Gum Fruit, offered by [[Luffy]]. He has been known to have [[Laughing Panther|uncontrollable fits of laughter.]] | ||
+ | |||
+ | In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven. | ||
+ | |||
+ | He also has the power to give [[promotion]]s. So far, very few have been able to get promotions from him. | ||
+ | |||
+ | Apparently he can blink but it's hard to notice. | ||
+ | |||
+ | His giant ass is so huge that he has to buy custom-built chairs and toilets. His dumps are so enormous that his plumbing pipes must be at least 12 feet wide to avoid clogs. | ||
+ | |||
+ | He can eat and carry 300 pounds of ham. | ||
==Gossip== | ==Gossip== | ||
[[Image:robotikniks.jpg|thumb|Robotnik while watching gay porn.]] | [[Image:robotikniks.jpg|thumb|Robotnik while watching gay porn.]] | ||
− | * | + | *[[Scratch]] has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. ''(See: [[ScraBotnik]])'' |
*Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever. | *Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever. | ||
*It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with [[Zelda]], himself, and [[Ms. Filkins]] resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child. | *It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with [[Zelda]], himself, and [[Ms. Filkins]] resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child. | ||
− | *There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus. | + | *There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus, but this was disproved when Robotnikclaus revealed himself. |
− | *It's rumored that | + | *It's rumored that Sara is his daughter. |
+ | *It's quite likely that his father is either [[Goronu]], [[Chris Bores]], or [[Daedreamer87]]. | ||
*Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date [[Makoto Kino]], however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her. | *Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date [[Makoto Kino]], however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her. | ||
*It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space. | *It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space. | ||
− | *In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as " | + | *In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrounder" and "Groutch". Alas, [[Scrounder]] has been confirmed to really exist recently. |
− | |||
*Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do. | *Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do. | ||
− | |||
*When [[Rudy Larriva]] and [[Mama Luigi]] announced [[Hunter Harrison]]'s candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul [[Robotnik Express]] for him. | *When [[Rudy Larriva]] and [[Mama Luigi]] announced [[Hunter Harrison]]'s candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul [[Robotnik Express]] for him. | ||
− | |||
*[[Bugs Bunny]] believes Robotnik is Polish. | *[[Bugs Bunny]] believes Robotnik is Polish. | ||
− | *Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a [[SatAM | + | *Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a [[SatAM|Saturday Morning]] until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self. |
*Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa [[spaghetti]]. | *Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa [[spaghetti]]. | ||
− | *He built [[Glados]]. | + | *It is rumored that Tails is his son. |
+ | *Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny Asian yellow ranger. | ||
+ | *He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with [[Tails|Sonic's two-tailed little friend]], who he affectionately refers to as MILES. | ||
+ | *Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant. | ||
+ | *It's rumored that he often hangs around at the Pirate Leather Bar. | ||
+ | [[Image:Ghfdgh.png|thumb|right|Sadly, this picture does not contain as much win as we'd like.]] | ||
+ | *He once had the argument of the century with [[M. Bison]]. Later on in that argument, [[Fat Mario]] and [[Captain Falcon]] would join their respective sides in this argument. | ||
+ | *He's the one who built [[Glados]]. | ||
+ | *Dr. Robotnik was considered to be the #7 douchebag of [[Angry Nintendo Nerd|Screwattack's]] Top Ten List of Douchebags. He was ahead of [[Wario]], [[Superman]] (lol, wut?!), and [[Michael Jackson]], yet he failed to defeat the [[Russians|Ruffians from the Viva Pinata series]], [[Burger King|the Burger King himself]], [[Bowser]], [[Metal Gear Solid|Psycho Mantis]], [[Gay Luigi|Jack Thompson]], and the Duck Hunt Dog itself. | ||
+ | *He drove that hedgehog to the fucking moon once. | ||
+ | *He also once had a crazy cousin named Warpnik. Unfortunately, he's banished into the Warp of Confusion so he isn't with us anymore. | ||
+ | *It was confirmed that Dr. Robotnik was a [[Nazi]]/Neo-Nazi, or at least a temporary one. | ||
+ | *It is rumored that before he goes to bed at night he wraps his [[penis]] in strips of [[bacon]]. That could also explain why his member makes other penises be ashamed of themselves. | ||
+ | *Oddly enough, he, along with [[Bowser]] and [[Ganon]], refused to help [[King K. Rool]] seize YouTube Poop in the name of the [[Angry German Kid]]. | ||
+ | *He recently tricked the Mario Bros. into killing Sonic for him by planting a forged note from the hedgehog for them to find. | ||
+ | *He once suffered a form of Tourette's syndrome where Hugh Tasmanian Devil-style rambling and "Peanuts" adult speech got injected in his dialogue. | ||
+ | *Also once made a Strawberry Shortcut and tried to do the [[Pickle Surprise]] once. | ||
+ | *Is known to [[Masturbation|masturbate]] the very instant he sees the "DO NOT [[Masturbation|MASTURBATE]]" video. (Subsequentialy, you can see the video on the bottom right here.) | ||
+ | *His nose is actually a second [[PENIS]]. | ||
+ | *With the help of [[Dracula]], he conquered [[New Jersey]]; beating [[Will Smith]] to the punch. | ||
+ | *He and Robotnikclaus recorded a hit single together titled "Piness Piness Pingas Pingas", which [[Ren and Stimpy|Stimpy]] likes to play constantly, much to Ren's displeasure. | ||
+ | *The [[Nostalgia Critic]] actually once shot his own [[fuck]]ing head off. After he [[die]]d, all of Mobius exploded into a million pieces. | ||
+ | *Enjoys shoving bricks into his eye and eating wrenches. | ||
+ | *He has a small [[PENIS|erection]] when he sees [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic The Hedgehog]] and [[Tails]] [[kiss]] and/or have [[sex]] [[yes|with each other.]] | ||
+ | *He has a part-time job as a kindergarten teacher; however, he frequently gets caught in traffic on his way there. | ||
+ | *He is believed to be the creator of butt sex. | ||
+ | *Rumored to have the most rumors than any one else in the world. | ||
+ | {{wikipedia|Dr._Robotnik}} | ||
==Memorable Quotes== | ==Memorable Quotes== | ||
− | + | [[Image: 16_fanart_sonicgottagofast.gif|thumb|Robotnik's ultimate rival, [[Sonic]].]] | |
− | + | [[Image:DrRobotnikloses.png|thumb|300px|Dr. Robotnik being beaten at his own game.]] | |
− | + | [[Image:380617 10151025623437418 1944504972 n.jpg|thumb|Robotnik is often called, "The World's Sexiest Fat Man" and it isn't hard to see why!]] | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Sno[[Pingas|PING AS]] usual I see.}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|SILENCE!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I hate that hedgehog!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|OOOOH, THAT'S GOOOOD!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|YOU PISS BRAINS!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|MAKE ME HAPPY!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|You miserable mess of microchips!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|[[NO]]TE}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|This is like bending [[spaghetti]]!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I'm engulfed in a... [[dust]] cloud!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|DOY...[[SHOU!]]}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|[[Yes|Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss]]??}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|This isn't my sport! How about a nice game of tiddlywinks?}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I'll smack yer [[Mama Luigi|ma]]!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|This time, there'll be [[no]] slip-ups!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|[[NO]]!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|You two will make NICE pets!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I'll have to give myself a [[promotion]]!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|My full name is SUPER Robotnik!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|What kind of nincompoops are you!?!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|See you next faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!!!!!!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|If you don't, I'll melt you down... ''MY'' way!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|YOU NINCOMBOTS!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|WHERE'S MY FOOD?!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I thought I was rid of you, you fish-fondling fruitcake!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|NICE PEOPLE.}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|[[Beans|BEANS]].}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Nice [[toaster]]. I must remind my badniks to steal some [[Bowser's Sourpuss Bread|BREAD]] for it.}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Tea? TEA?}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|[[France|Surrender]] to [[me]].}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|My...[[Ass|caboose]]...}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|WHO CARES?}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|No one makes fun of me! No one!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|TOMORROW I'LL...}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Warpnik to the Warp of Confusion!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Steroids!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Friction!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Oxymoron!!!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|DAAh, [[Fuck|forg]]et it!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|How dare you interrupt me when I'm trying to [[fuck]] [[you]]}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Gladiators!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Did he say what I thought he said? [[Link|I win]]!?}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I order [[you]] to break my [[penis]]!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|With Sonic trapped in the force field, Mobius is mine! ''Mine!'' ...Did I say that already?}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I'm surrounded by [[dick|dicks!!]]}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Everybody wants to be of the U.S. secret to acheiving the final conquest of movies!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|HORRORS! The super-strength formula has dissipated!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|NO FAIR! I WANTED THE FREE GAME!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|MY EGG-OMATIC OH NOOOOOO!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|I'M HERE TO CLAIM MY CHILDREN}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|There's a whole town of people, praising their pingas?!}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|Humanity.}} | |
− | + | {{poopquote|Robotnik|{to the [[Pennsylvania]] [[Masturbation|Masturbators]]} Take better care of your [[Pingas|body parts]].}} | |
− | + | ||
− | + | ==The Greatest [[Evil]]...== | |
− | + | After the existence of [[Scrounder]] was confirmed, a theory has appeared that Robotnik himself could fuse with the aforementioned monstrosity to form Dr. Scroundbotnik. If this being were ever to be created, it would wield a power mighty enough to rival even Kimera Luigi. Let us hope this never comes to pass... | |
− | + | [[Image:Q3zscn.jpg|frame|left|Dr. Robotnik hates the company of the same name that makes computers in Canada.]] | |
− | + | [[Image:Site logo.gif|left]] | |
+ | {{DEFAULTSORT:Dr. Robotnik}} | ||
+ | [[Category:Evil Characters]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Video Game Characters]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Fat Characters]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Athletes]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Olympiads]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Comic Book Characters]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Internet Memes]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Characters - Geniuses]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Doctors|Robotnik, Dr.]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Dictators]] | ||
+ | [[Category:Satanists]]] | ||
+ | [[Category:College Graduates]] |
Latest revision as of 03:05, 19 January 2020
Dr. Ivo Julian Robotnik is a highly popular Youtube Poop character and the arch-nemesis of Sonic the Hedgehog.
He is not to be confused with Dr. Eggman, his evil twin brother from the new-gen Sonic games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.
Career[edit]
Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became Super Robotnik, openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands (with a little help from Freakazoid), became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married Bill O'Reilly, possessed King Harkinian's body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful Chaos Emeralds, got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of WarioWare Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over Toon Disney, and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of his own emporium. But nobody cared so they separated. Sometimes, he makes a living by selling lemonade... poisoned, of course. He once starred in a TV show with Terry Hargon, in which they argued over a letter from Throbbin Screetch. He is also currently the world champion of Tekken 15: Dark Blood Revenge.
Despite the fact that his parents said that he wouldn't amount to anything, Robotnik has had a very successful career, as you can see.
In The King's Epic Adventure timeline, Dr. Robotnik is cast as Eggman, an eventual adversary which the King will eventually face, and a recurring antagonist throughout the series. He most often appears in a subplot away from the King's main quest in which he recruits Tomo to the SSSSS squad, subsequently develops a great infatuation with her friend Yomi, and is otherwise committed to stopping Sonic and all who take his side, which happens to eventually be all of the ongoing protagonists.
Presidential Run[edit]
It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an elaborately designed campaign video. No other characters have announced their intentions to run (aside from Rudy Larriva, although he has not said a word about it since) but many are expected to follow suit.
Robotnik won the presidential election by a wide margin in 2008. He plans to run again for the 2012 presidency, and so far it is rumored that Lex Luthor, his long-term rival, will also run against him.
To Do List[edit]
Tomorrow Robotnik will:
- Invent those blueprints.
- START
- Invent the PINGAS
- BLEEAAAHHHHH!!!!
- Invent a sewer plugged with crud and sludge.
- Invent Schlemmer in the cooler.
Likes[edit]
- Himself
- Buckets of chicken balls.
- His Game Boy
- Smash Bros. Lawl
- Fucking With Scratch. (Whether Scratch sucks him orally or Dr. Robotnik does him anally or something similar like that is something that they both don't really matter on.)
- The Muppet Babies
- Eating a wagon wheel
- Going out, out, out the door
- Strawberry Shortcuts
- You
- Porn
- The KKK
- Satan
- Sprite
- His special Super Robotnik form.
- Putting out the Bushroot.
- His Pingas.
- Soda Popinski/Vodka Drunkenski
- Sodomy
- Getting Richer
- Being a super genius.
- Having inventions that actually work.
- Blood
- Me (Especially if the "me" voted for him.)
- Fat Bastard, his best friend.
- Racism
- Eggs
- Tacos
- Lucinda
- Darkwing Yak
- TV
- Free games.
- AC/DC
Hates[edit]
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- THAT HEDGEHOG
- Mario
- When he loses to Froggo over a bucket of KFC.
- "That Chimpanzee"
- Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.)
- Da Bears
- Clowns
- Snakes
- Alligators
- Action 52 & The Cheetahmen (But who doesn't?)
- Animal Soccer World & everything Phoenix Games has ever touched.
- Pickle Surprise
- Every single rebel on Mobius. He wants them all blasted out of existence.
- King Harkinian
- His evil twin Dr. Eggman.
- Smirking Bitch
- Candy
- Wishes
- Donald Trump (Fires people that he gives promotions.)
Skills[edit]
Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's KFC nearby.
Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. This was caused after he accepted a part of the Gum-Gum Fruit, offered by Luffy. He has been known to have uncontrollable fits of laughter.
In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.
He also has the power to give promotions. So far, very few have been able to get promotions from him.
Apparently he can blink but it's hard to notice.
His giant ass is so huge that he has to buy custom-built chairs and toilets. His dumps are so enormous that his plumbing pipes must be at least 12 feet wide to avoid clogs.
He can eat and carry 300 pounds of ham.
Gossip[edit]
- Scratch has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. (See: ScraBotnik)
- Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
- It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with Zelda, himself, and Ms. Filkins resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
- There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus, but this was disproved when Robotnikclaus revealed himself.
- It's rumored that Sara is his daughter.
- It's quite likely that his father is either Goronu, Chris Bores, or Daedreamer87.
- Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date Makoto Kino, however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
- It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
- In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrounder" and "Groutch". Alas, Scrounder has been confirmed to really exist recently.
- Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
- When Rudy Larriva and Mama Luigi announced Hunter Harrison's candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul Robotnik Express for him.
- Bugs Bunny believes Robotnik is Polish.
- Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a Saturday Morning until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
- Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa spaghetti.
- It is rumored that Tails is his son.
- Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny Asian yellow ranger.
- He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with Sonic's two-tailed little friend, who he affectionately refers to as MILES.
- Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant.
- It's rumored that he often hangs around at the Pirate Leather Bar.
- He once had the argument of the century with M. Bison. Later on in that argument, Fat Mario and Captain Falcon would join their respective sides in this argument.
- He's the one who built Glados.
- Dr. Robotnik was considered to be the #7 douchebag of Screwattack's Top Ten List of Douchebags. He was ahead of Wario, Superman (lol, wut?!), and Michael Jackson, yet he failed to defeat the Ruffians from the Viva Pinata series, the Burger King himself, Bowser, Psycho Mantis, Jack Thompson, and the Duck Hunt Dog itself.
- He drove that hedgehog to the fucking moon once.
- He also once had a crazy cousin named Warpnik. Unfortunately, he's banished into the Warp of Confusion so he isn't with us anymore.
- It was confirmed that Dr. Robotnik was a Nazi/Neo-Nazi, or at least a temporary one.
- It is rumored that before he goes to bed at night he wraps his penis in strips of bacon. That could also explain why his member makes other penises be ashamed of themselves.
- Oddly enough, he, along with Bowser and Ganon, refused to help King K. Rool seize YouTube Poop in the name of the Angry German Kid.
- He recently tricked the Mario Bros. into killing Sonic for him by planting a forged note from the hedgehog for them to find.
- He once suffered a form of Tourette's syndrome where Hugh Tasmanian Devil-style rambling and "Peanuts" adult speech got injected in his dialogue.
- Also once made a Strawberry Shortcut and tried to do the Pickle Surprise once.
- Is known to masturbate the very instant he sees the "DO NOT MASTURBATE" video. (Subsequentialy, you can see the video on the bottom right here.)
- His nose is actually a second PENIS.
- With the help of Dracula, he conquered New Jersey; beating Will Smith to the punch.
- He and Robotnikclaus recorded a hit single together titled "Piness Piness Pingas Pingas", which Stimpy likes to play constantly, much to Ren's displeasure.
- The Nostalgia Critic actually once shot his own fucking head off. After he died, all of Mobius exploded into a million pieces.
- Enjoys shoving bricks into his eye and eating wrenches.
- He has a small erection when he sees Sonic The Hedgehog and Tails kiss and/or have sex with each other.
- He has a part-time job as a kindergarten teacher; however, he frequently gets caught in traffic on his way there.
- He is believed to be the creator of butt sex.
- Rumored to have the most rumors than any one else in the world.
Memorable Quotes[edit]
Robotnik SnoPING AS usual I see.
Robotnik NOTE
Robotnik This is like bending spaghetti!
Robotnik I'm engulfed in a... dust cloud!
Robotnik DOY...SHOU!
Robotnik I'll smack yer ma!
Robotnik This time, there'll be no slip-ups!
Robotnik NO!
Robotnik I'll have to give myself a promotion!
Robotnik You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!
Robotnik How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!
Robotnik My...caboose...
Robotnik I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Warpnik to the Warp of Confusion!
Robotnik DAAh, forget it!
Robotnik Did he say what I thought he said? I win!?
Robotnik I'm surrounded by dicks!!
Robotnik {to the Pennsylvania Masturbators} Take better care of your body parts.
The Greatest Evil...[edit]
After the existence of Scrounder was confirmed, a theory has appeared that Robotnik himself could fuse with the aforementioned monstrosity to form Dr. Scroundbotnik. If this being were ever to be created, it would wield a power mighty enough to rival even Kimera Luigi. Let us hope this never comes to pass...
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