Scratch

This article is filed under Characters.

Scratch is a robot chicken (lol, reference) who is gay for best friends with his identical twin brother, Grounder. He is an alcoholic, a smoker and a loyal "worker" for Robotnik. Scratch has a pair of balls on his chin, which complements his obsession with Robotnik's penis. Occasionally Scratch will elicit "favors" for Robotnik for special privileges... like sinuses.

Scratch is also known for having several near death experiences at the hand of his master for serving the wrong breakfast. Shocking footage of these beatings can be seen all over the internet. Afterward, it is said Scratch had to go to hospital because the beatings had caused memory loss and minor brain damage. Robotnik himself was unavailable for questioning, or so he said. If you can, donate to the Lifesaving Emergency Tijuana Society Scratch Himself Invented There.

Scratch once thought he was a hero named Edgar Eagle. This infuriated Robotnik to the point that he threatened to reprogram him into an umbrella stand.

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Scratch when he's drunk.

Likes

• Robotnik
• Masturbating
• High School Musical
• Booze
• Touching people in crowded rooms.
• Chewing gum at funerals.
• Kidnapping children

Scratch arguing with Grounder in comic book form.

• Wearing a fake mustache.
• Stegblob
• Squidward
• Laughing various douchebags. (Minus Dr. Robotnik)
• Grounder (Secretly)
• Ophios
• Wikiwow
• pspimp
• Falco Lombardi
• Happy endings on his favorite shows.
• The Tails doll that he got on his birthday from Grounder.
• Reading comic books with Grounder.
• Growing a pubic beard on his chin.
• Making his hand transform into a woman.
• Kicking your ass in Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine.
• Wearing a Team Rocket cheerleading outfit on Christmas.

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Scratch once received a Tails doll from Grounder on his birthday. It was his best birthday ever!

Some people believe that Scratch is a racist chicken on YouTube.

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Scratch feels sexy as he is about to beat you in Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine for the Sega Genesis.

Dislikes

• Himself
• Grounder
• Sonic The Hedgehog
• Tails
• Knuckles
• Dr. Robotnik's stupid replacements of him and Grounder for Sonic Underground & Sonic X.
• Paper
• When Grounder forces him to whack off in a bush.
• Hotcakes
• Afterbirth
• The Nostalgia Critic actually killing Dr. Robotnik.

Quotes

• "Bleeeyyehaah try-hehit, kid!"
• "It's so cute!"
• "You forgot to pull this one!"
• "I wanna try this BOOZE!"
• "You're my hero, Dr. Robotnik sir!"
• "DR. ROBOTNIIIIIIIIK!!! WE FOUND THE HEDGEHOG!!!"
• "I laughed, I cried, I give it two thumbs up!"
• "I'm all wet!"
• "WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!! I'm the big robot."
• "YES!!!"
• "Boy! Look at the beautiful, absolutely marvelous word!"
• "Scratch squawking!"
• "Bah Ha Ha Ha!!"
• "Okay, little brother. You're gonna clean this rapid robot rendering machine!"
• "Want a chili dog?!"
• "Any sneaky devious underhanded scheme in particular?"
• "Goo goo poo-poo!"
• "D'oh! I'm masturbating!!"
• "SAP!"
• "I laughed, I cried, I sucked my dick!"