Notice: We are aware that many of the Chewiki’s images are still broken. We promise: we will try our best to fix it, but we don't guarantee that the fix will be trivial.

Rock TV

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Object.jpg This article is about an object that frequently appears in Youtube Poop.

Rock TV is a satellite subscription to at least 4,862 channels from past to present to the future, and also one of King Koopa's failed attempts to scam Mario and Luigi. It is developed by a so-called Lotica Studios, as seen in the advertisement below. Rock TV Incorporated was founded in 1985 by King Koopa in his Robby Rockwell form in San Francisco, California.

How King Koopa got the stupid idea[edit]

A cave people family gave King Koopa the idea to start all this. He said it can rot brains and leave Mario and Luigi weak and useless in trying to defeat him. Coming up with the idea caused him to become Robby Rockwell.


For a very small price of $1295.31 a month, you can enjoy lots of television shows you don't really need to or DON'T want to watch. In four to six weeks, you get either a small TV made out of stone used to watch your channels, or you can get a very large square bagel-ish TV (which Poopers call the bagel ring), where you can challenge others to wrestle you. Plus, you get a satellite made out of of yarn, paper clips, and some fuzzy 20-sided dice. You can even watch reruns of Tom and Jerry cartoons in approximately 36% of all channels available. If you can find it, there's also a Youtube Poop channel available showing videos of some of the best poops available... on your TV!

Channels you can watch on Rock TV[edit]

When advertising Rock TV to his consumers, Robby Rockwell stated that you could watch all kinds of wonderful shows on it, such as Koopa Sez, Mr. Koopa's Neighborhood, Sonic X, and Histeria, and broadcasts of the World Dinosaur Wrestling Federation. Among the channel on which one can watch these shows:

Rock-Rock TV[edit]

A music video channel which, according to Robby Rockwell, features stars like Vanilla Ice Age, Phineas and the Ferbtones, Rick Astley, and Hannah Montana. However, no one in Dinosaur Land or Dream Land wants to listen to songs by that last listed artist.

Channel DDD[edit]

An independent channel created and owned by King Dedede. It features a whole assortment of programs starring Dedede, Escargoon, or both of them, much to Tiff's chagrin. It has been discovered that Dedede created the channel so he could broadcast a news bulletin with which to trick the Cappies into believing that a demon beast monster MONSTAH was attacking their city looking for Kirby, and that they had to banish the little guy.

When Robby Rockwell saw that Dedede was making the same plan as he was, he allowed Dedede to have Channel DDD included on Rock TV. In exchange, Dedede gave the Koopa King/human some airtime on the channel. In it, they broadcast Rockwell's own exercise program, Koopa Sez, in which he brainwashed the cave people into kidnapping the Mario Bros. for him. Unfortunately for the two heavyweight villains, Princess Toadstool and Tiff intervened and revealed Dedede's newscast to be a hoax. And when Yoshi proceeded to eat the network's signals, it resulted in Channel DDD being knocked off of Rock TV's airwaves, much to the dismay of Dr. Robotnik.


{{#ev:youtube|N_1VPk5LF3o|320}}Robby Rockwell advertising SKY CHANNELS


FUCK MAN I know. But hey, do u want to watch TV on ur PC

You'll get all the SKY CHANNELS there is

AND from any country IN THE WORLD, on your pc screen!!!!

Go to this website...


(DELETE the *)

check it out................its cool, i've got it myself.


Sorry, no refunds. It is unlikely that Robby Rockwell will start accepting refunds when you don't like Rock TV. Thus, you can't return it. If you don't pay your subscription monthly, your television or bagel ring will be smashed to pieces and fed to Third World people.

Does Rock TV compete with any other cable companies?[edit]

No, it tries not to. In fact, Rock TV has tried many attempts to force Comcast to try to buy it and make Rock TV a subsidiary of Comcast, but every time, it has failed. It also tried a take over from Virgin, but they didn't have enough money to conquer Sky, the satellite comany in the UK. Recently, Rock TV has been bought by a lesser-known company called Lotica Studios.

People who watch Rock TV regularly[edit]


  • The Olympics are aired on Rock TV in Europe, Russia, Japan, and Korea.
  • Rock TV is illegal in China, Saudi Arabia, and Cuba, since it broadcasts content that is banned in China, Saudi Arabia and Cuba.
  • Wario owns a custom '50s-style Rock TV.
  • For $599 US, you can get porn on your Rock TV.
  • The Rock TV sets are made in Japan by Casio Computer Co. LTD of Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan; while the Bagel Rings are made in China by Mamaluyiji Electronic Co. LTD of Dongguan, Guangdong, PRC.
  • Watching too much Rock TV can cause your lips to stop moving when you talk.


  • Owners of Bagel Rings have reported medical problems from prolonged exposure to Anti-Uctions. Most of these people got cancer, but symptoms ranged from vomiting to instant death. A lawsuit occurred as a result of this on February 12, 2009. The ruling was that Lotica Studios would have to pay for treatment for every single victim, aside from the dead ones, whos families were to be reimbursed for One million dollars. Mamaluyiji Electronic Co. Ltd. was also to be shut-down, and its founder, Mama Luigi, jailed for man slaughter.

All existing Bagel Rings were also to be destroyed, with the remains stored in nuclear storage facilities in Alamogordo, New Mexico next to the E.T. Landfill.