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Difference between revisions of "Dr. Robotnik"

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's [[KFC]] nearby.
 
Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's [[KFC]] nearby.
  
Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. Both he and [[Luffy]] share a biological defect that resulted in their bodies being made of rubber. He has been known to have uncontrollable fits of laughter.
+
Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. This was caused after he accepted a part of the Gum-Gum Fruit, offered by [[Luffy]]. He has been known to have [[Laughing Panther|uncontrollable fits of laughter.]]
  
 
In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.
 
In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.
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{{poopquote|Robotnik|Aha! I have just come up with a magnnnnificent scheme! Now you may lick my pingas.}}
 
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Aha! I have just come up with a magnnnnificent scheme! Now you may lick my pingas.}}
 
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I've started a wonderful, inspirational song. Listen.}}
 
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I've started a wonderful, inspirational song. Listen.}}
{{poopquote|Robotnik|But, my goody-two-shoes brother, the favorite of my mother, is the one I want to smother in a ton of pigeon goo!}}
+
{{poopquote|Robotnik|[[Dr. Doofenshmirtz|But, my goody-two-shoes brother, the favorite of my mother, is the one I want to smother in a ton of pigeon goo!]]}}
 
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I captured my [[dick]] and became [[dick|dic]]tator!}}
 
{{poopquote|Robotnik|I captured my [[dick]] and became [[dick|dic]]tator!}}
 
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Auuugh!! Who took a shit in my chair[[Scratch|?]]!}}
 
{{poopquote|Robotnik|Auuugh!! Who took a shit in my chair[[Scratch|?]]!}}

Revision as of 19:31, 3 November 2009

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Name: Dr. Ivo Robotnik
Appears In: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
Sex: Male
Age: 65
Occupation(s): Evil Scientist
Played By: Long John Baldry

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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Robotnik after having one too many chocolate brains.
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Not Robotnik.

Dr. Ivo Julian Robotnik is a highly popular Youtube Poop character.

Is not to be confused with Dr. Eggman. His evil twin brother from the new-gen Sonic games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.

Career

Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became Super Robotnik, openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands (with a little help from Freakazoid), became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married Bill O'Reilly, possessed King Harkinian's body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful Chaos Emeralds, got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of WarioWare Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over Toon Disney, and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of Robotnik's emporium. He also combined with Weegee to form DOKTOOA EHGGUMAHN. But noone cared so they seperated. Sometimes, he makes a living by selling lemonade... poisoned, of course. He once starred in a TV show with Terry Hargon, in which they argued over a letter from Throbbin Screetch. He is also currently the world champion of Tekken 15: Dark Blood Revenge.

Despite the fact that his parents said that he wouldn't amount to anything, Robotnik has had a very successful career, as you can see.

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Dr. Robotnik with his giant hand picking up a giant phone.

Presidential Run

It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an elaborately designed campaign video. No other characters have announced their intentions to run probably except Rudy Larriva, but many are expected to follow suit.

Robotnik won the presidential election by a wide margin in 2008. He plans to run again for the 2010 presidency, and so far it is rumored that Lex Luthor, his long-term rival, will also run against him.

Likes

  • Himself
  • A bucket of chicken balls.
  • His Game Boy
  • Travis Touchdown's Beam Katanas
  • Fucking With Scratch. (Whether Scratch sucks him orally or Dr. Robotnik does him anally or something similar like that is something that they both don't really matter on.)
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Him telling his cronies what he currently has.
  • Getting Richer
  • Being a super genious.
  • Having inventions that actually work.
  • Blood
  • Me (Especially if the "me" voted for him.)
  • Miku Hatsune
  • Fat Bastard, his best friend.
  • Racism
  • Darkwing Yak
  • Jenny (Whoever the hell she is.)
  • Eggs

Dislikes

{{#ev:youtube|K1yneJSJx3E|320}}

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Dr. Robotnik answering Scratch and Grounder's question about them having gay sex together.

Skills

The infamous picture used for the Youtube Poop meme called "This Video Contains Win!!!"

Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's KFC nearby.

Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. This was caused after he accepted a part of the Gum-Gum Fruit, offered by Luffy. He has been known to have uncontrollable fits of laughter.

In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.

He also has the power to give promotions. So far, very few have been able to get promotions from him.

Apparently he can blink but it's hard to notice.

His giant ass is so huge that he has to buy custom-built chairs and toilets. His dumps are so enormous that his plumbing pipes must be at least 12 feet wide to avoid clogs.

Gossip

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Robotnik while watching gay porn.
  • It is rumored that Scratch has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. (See: ScraBotnik)
  • Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
  • It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with Zelda, himself, and Ms. Filkins resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
  • There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus, but this was disproved when Robotnikclaus revealed himself.
  • It's rumored that Sarah is his daughter.
  • Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date Makoto Kino, however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
  • It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
  • In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrounder" and "Groutch". Alas, Scrounder has been confirmed to really exist recently.
  • Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
  • When Rudy Larriva and Mama Luigi announced Hunter Harrison's candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul Robotnik Express for him.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Dr. Robotnik's call has just been disconnected... again!
  • Bugs Bunny believes Robotnik is Polish.
  • Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a Saturday Morning until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
  • Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa spaghetti.
  • It is rumored that Chowder is his son.
  • Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny Asian yellow ranger.
  • He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with Sonic's two-tailed little friend, who he affectionately refers to as MILES.
  • Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant.
  • Robotnik wants you to touch his PINGAS.
  • He once had the argument of the century with M. Bison. Later on in that argument, Fat Mario and Captain Falcon would join their respective sides in this argument.
  • He's the one who built Glados.
  • Dr. Robotnik was considered to be the #7 douchebag of Screwattack's Top Ten List of Douchebags. He was ahead of Wario, Superman (lol, wut?!), and Michael Jackson (R.I.P. ;_;), yet he failed to defeat the Ruffians from the Viva Pinata series, the Burger King himself, Bowser, Psycho Mantis, Jack Thompson, and the Duck Hunt Dog itself.
  • He drove that hedgehog to the fucking moon once.
  • He also once had a crazy cousin named Warpnik. Unfortunetly, he's banished into the Warp of Penis so he isn't with us anymore.
  • It was confirmed that Dr. Robotnik was a Nazi/Neo-Nazi, or at least a temporary one.
  • It is rumored that before he goes to bed at night he wraps his PINGAS in strips of bacon. That could also explain why his PINGAS makes other penises be ashamed of themselves.
  • Oddly enough, he, along with Bowser and Ganon, refused to help King K. Rool seize YouTube Poop in the name of the Angry German Kid.
  • He recently tricked the Mario Bros. into killing Sonic for him by planting a forged note from the hedgehog for them to find.
  • He once suffered a form of tourette syndrome where Hugh Tasmanian Devil-style rambling and "Peanuts" adult speech got injected in his dialogue.
  • Also once made a Strawberry Shortcut and tried to do the Pickle Surprise once.
  • Is rumored to masturbate the very instant he sees the "DO NOT MASTURBATE" video. (Subsequentialy, you can see the video on the bottom right here.)

{{#ev:youtube|QGaNvWI9ZfU|320}}

  • His nose is actually a second PINGAS.
  • With the help of Dracula, he conquered New Jersey; beating Will Smith to the punch.
  • He and Robotnikclaus recorded a hit single together titled "Piness Piness Pingas Pingas", which Stimpy J. Cat likes to play constantly much to Ren Hoek's displeasure.
  • He has been found to have been sexually assulted again, this time by Big Cheese in 1989, leading to Big Cheese's impeachment.
  • The Nostalgia Critic actually once shot his own fucking head off. After he died, all of Mobius exploded into a million pieces.
  • Enjoys shoving bricks into his eye and eating wrenches.
  • He has a small erection when he sees Sonic The Hedgehog and Tails kiss and/or have sex with each other.
  • He has a part-time job as a kindergarten teacher; however, he frequently gets caught in traffic on his way there.
  • Made Tomo in charge of the Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad.

Memorable Quotes

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Robotnik's ultimate rival, Sonic.
Robotnik Robotnik

SILENCE!

Robotnik Robotnik

I hate that hedgehog!

Robotnik Robotnik

(While having an orgasm) OOOOH, THAT'S GOOOOD!

Robotnik Robotnik

YOU PISS BRAINS!!

Robotnik Robotnik

rrrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrrooo rrrrro rro. A Robotnik's most IMPORTANT WORK!

Robotnik Robotnik

MAKE ME HAPPY!

Robotnik Robotnik

You miserable mess of microchips!

Robotnik Robotnik

NOTE

Robotnik Robotnik

This is like bending spaghetti!

Robotnik Robotnik

Hurry! We have two more towns to demolish by lunchtime!

Robotnik Robotnik

I'm engulfed in a... dust cloud!

Robotnik Robotnik

DOY...SHOU!

Robotnik Robotnik

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss??

Robotnik Robotnik

I'll smack yer ma!

Robotnik Robotnik

I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH

Robotnik Robotnik

NO!

Robotnik Robotnik

..are programmed and ready too fire on anything...that's blue......HEDGEHOG BLUE that is!

Robotnik Robotnik

In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Robotnik

Prepare to engage the brothermio system!

Robotnik Robotnik

And I order you to tell me of any carrots, peppers, and bugs of security, the second Christmas comes up!

Robotnik Robotnik

Snooping as usual, I see?

Robotnik Robotnik

My full name is SUPER Robotnik!

Robotnik Robotnik

For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!

Robotnik Robotnik

Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!

Robotnik Robotnik

Togt'nevahllitsuoy?!?

Robotnik Robotnik

This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!

Robotnik Robotnik

AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

I won't just dip her, I'll dunk her! SLAM dunk! Two-handed reverse.

Robotnik Robotnik

By standing on that X!(Points to the right)

Robotnik Robotnik

I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

I'm on the brink of incest! You fail!

Robotnik Robotnik

What kind of nincompoops are you!?!

Robotnik Robotnik

If you don't, I'll melt you down... MY way!

Robotnik Robotnik

I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!

Robotnik Robotnik

Get to the point or your name will be M-U-D!

Robotnik Robotnik

You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!

Robotnik Robotnik

'NINCOMBOTS!!!'

Robotnik Robotnik

See you next faaaaall!

Robotnik Robotnik

Get out of life!!

Robotnik Robotnik

I thought I was rid of you,you fish-fondiling fruitcake!

Robotnik Robotnik

Hey! Where did that mountain-top come from?!

Robotnik Robotnik

...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!

Robotnik Robotnik

This is one time I'm going to do some rottenness, and that hedgehog won't stop me!

Robotnik Robotnik

Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Robotnik

How did I get in the middle of the ocean?!

Robotnik Robotnik

NICE PEOPLE.

Robotnik Robotnik

Beans...

Robotnik Robotnik

How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!

Robotnik Robotnik

Nice toaster. I must remind my badniks to steal some BREAD for it.

Robotnik Robotnik

You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Robotnik

Tea? TEA?

Robotnik Robotnik

Surrender to me.

Robotnik Robotnik

My...caboose...

Robotnik Robotnik

WHO CARES?

Robotnik Robotnik

Body Parts!

Robotnik Robotnik

No one makes fun of me! No one!

Robotnik Robotnik

TOMORROW I'LL...

Robotnik Robotnik

PRRR! PRRR!

Robotnik Robotnik

GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?

Robotnik Robotnik

...And so I've decided to dedicate my luxury resort to Mobius's first citizen. A bundle of good looks and sheer genius, all wrapped up in that loveable package we call me!

Robotnik Robotnik

It's time to unleash my extendo-tower-solar-focusing lens ray, and bake Sonic like a BUG!

Robotnik Robotnik

TOUCH MY PINGAS!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

My Robo-Transmogrifier will take care of you prehistoric fuzzballs!

Robotnik Robotnik

Who's Rich???

Robotnik Robotnik

I HATE Da Bears!

Robotnik Robotnik

YOU DOUBLE NIGGER!

Robotnik Robotnik

I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Warpnik to the Warp of Confusion!

Robotnik Robotnik

With your gadgets, and my penis, we'll team up to scoop some poop!

Robotnik Robotnik

Steroids!

Robotnik Robotnik

Friction!!

Robotnik Robotnik

Oxymoron!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

DAAh, forget it!

Robotnik Robotnik

Top of the morning to you, Freakazoid!

Robotnik Robotnik

TURN OFF THAT LIGHT!!! Can't you see I'm fapping?!

Robotnik Robotnik

Gladiators!

Robotnik Robotnik

Did he say what I thought he said? I win!?

Robotnik Robotnik

I'll build myself a microwave!

Robotnik Robotnik

Wait for me. I want to watch!

Robotnik Robotnik

I order you to break my penis!

Robotnik Robotnik

With Sonic trapped in the force field, Mobius is mine! Mine! ...Did I say that already?

Robotnik Robotnik

I'm surrounded by dicks!!

Robotnik Robotnik

Smells Like... Cocaine!

Robotnik Robotnik

This time, there'll be no slip-ups!

Robotnik Robotnik

O.K., so I had a small erection.

Robotnik Robotnik

I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Robotnikclause to the Warp of Canada!

Robotnik Robotnik

Aha! I have just come up with a magnnnnificent scheme! Now you may lick my pingas.

Robotnik Robotnik

I've started a wonderful, inspirational song. Listen.

Robotnik Robotnik

But, my goody-two-shoes brother, the favorite of my mother, is the one I want to smother in a ton of pigeon goo!

Robotnik Robotnik

I captured my dick and became dictator!

Robotnik Robotnik

Auuugh!! Who took a shit in my chair?!

Robotnik Robotnik

Well, I do have one small criticism [about "Wishology"]; hooking Timmy up with Trixie - it was a little... SICK AND WRONG!! TOTALLY SICK AND WRONG!!

Robotnik Robotnik

I haven't seen such lunacy since I fucked my gay cousin Warpnik in the cooler!

The Greatest Evil...

After the existence of Scrounder was confirmed, a theory has appeared that Robotnik himself could fuse with the aforementioned monstrosity to form Dr. Scroundbotnik. If this being were ever to be created, it would wield a power mighty enough to rival even Kimera Luigi. Let us hope this never comes to pass...

Dr. Robotnik hates the company of the same name that makes computers in Canada.
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