Dr. Robotnik

This article is filed under Characters.

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Robotnik after having one too many chocolate brains.

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Not Robotnik.

Dr. Ivo Julian Robotnik is a highly popular Youtube Poop character.

Is not to be confused with Dr. Eggman. His evil twin brother from the new-gen Sonic games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.

Career

Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became Super Robotnik, openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands (with a little help from Freakazoid), became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married Bill O'Reilly, possessed King Harkinian's body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful Chaos Emeralds, got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of WarioWare Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over Toon Disney, and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of Robotnik's emporium. He also combined with Weegee to form DOKTOOA EHGGUMAHN. But noone cared so they seperated.

Presidential Run

It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an elaborately designed campaign video. No other characters have announced their intentions to run probably except Rudy Larriva, but many are expected to follow suit.

Robotnik won the presidential election by a wide margin in 2008. He plans to run again for the 2010 presidency, and so far it is rumored that Lex Luthor, his long-term rival, will also run against him.

Likes

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Scratch: Dr. Robotnik's one and only true love.

• Himself
• A bucket of chicken balls.
• His Game Boy
• Travis Touchdown's Beam Katanas
• Fucking With Scratch. (Whether Scratch sucks him orally or Dr. Robotnik does him anally is something that they both don't matter on.)
• The Muppet Babies
• Eating a wagon wheel.
• Going out, out, out the door.
• Two free prizes for kids at Little Caesar's.
• Strawberry Shortcuts
• Joe The Pesky Plumber
• Wolfgang Amadeus Pingus
• You
• Pr0n
• Sprite
• His special Super Robotnik from.
• Putting out the Bushroot.
• Sex With Donna.
• His Creator
• Miku Hatsune
• Fat Bastard, his best friend.
• Racism
• Darkwing Yak
• Jenny (Whoever the hell she is.)

Dislikes

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Dr. Robotnik answering Scratch and Grounder's question about them having gay sex together.

• THAT HEDGEHOG
• Mama Luigi
• Timmy Turner & Jimmy Neutron
• When he loses to Froggo over a bucket of KFC.
• The Lobe
• "That Chimpanzee"
• Dio Brando (ruined Robotnik's schemes and all that crap)
• Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.)
• Da Bears
• Clowns
• Snakes
• An alligator who chased him once.
• Spot the Chicken
• Dipstick
• 71519
• The Sniper
• Face
• Not being able to say the N-word.
• The Killer 7
• Travis Touchdown
• Action 52 & The Cheetahmen
• Animal Soccer World & everything Phoenix Games has ever touched.
• Pickle Surprise
• Every single rebel on Mobius. He wants them all blasted out of existence.
• King Harkinian
• Some Cornflakes
• The House of The Dead: Overkill
• Agent G & Detective Issac Washington
• Jack from MadWorld
• Agent Michael Ford from The Conduit
• John Adams from The Conduit
• His evil twin Dr. Eggman.
• Jesus Christ
• That fucking gay ass smirking son of a bitch that almost ruined this Chewiki. (You know who the fuck I mean.)
• Those queermos on the Disney Channel
• Trixie Tang
• High Voltage Software (They're ruining his plan to make the Nintendo Wii look like a piece of shit by making shovelware type of games. To think that this is all because Masahiro Sakurai didn't put him in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Now that's sad don't you think?)
• Robotnikclaus, his archrival.
• Piness
• Orson Welles

Skills

Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's KFC nearby.

Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. Both he and Luffy share a biological defect that resulted in their bodies being made of rubber. He has been known to have uncontrollable fits of laughter.

In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.

He also has the power to give promotions. So far, very few have been able to get promotions from him.

Apparently he can blink but it's hard to notice.

His giant ass is so huge that he has to buy custom-built chairs and toilets. His dumps are so enormous that his plumbing pipes must be at least 12 feet wide to avoid clogs.

Gossip

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Robotnik while watching gay porn.

• It is rumored that Scratch has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. (See: ScraBotnik)
• Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
• It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with Zelda, himself, and Ms. Filkins resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
• There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus, but this was disproved when Robotnikclaus revealed himself.
• It's rumored that Sarah is his daughter.
• Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date Makoto Kino, however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
• It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
• In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrounder" and "Groutch". Alas, Scrounder has been confirmed to really exist recently.
• Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
• Since the fateful day when Osaka had hypnotized the world into hearing her poop idea, Yomi had become Hypnotized into thinking that she was Robotnik for the next two days, as she was seen renditioning the Diploma Dope. One month later, she was infuriated because her appearance on YouTube only had a three star rating. Sakaki watched in horror at the footage of Chiyo Chan being blown up at the end of the video. Tomo started running around the School grounds saying that the incident was Mario's fault since he was with Chiyo at the time; Now he is banned from the city limits of Tokyo, Japan. The Power Star that Mario was about to give chiyo eventually joined Osaka and her minions so that she could make his face seize all the magic balloons in the dungeon of Mr Girrafe's Coney Island Disco Palace so that all the Whats down in Hell will cry "Bobby got NOWHERE!!". Robotnik saw this and wanted to sued Yomi, but he couldn't; he was too buisy licking his bread
• When Rudy Larriva and Mama Luigi announced Hunter Harrison's candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul Robotnik Express for him.
• It is rumored that Robotnik has sued Kingdom Cum over 9000 times due to the never delivered grand prize of unlimited Uctions in the Beautiful Head competition held in 2005. A lesser known rumor is that Mama Luigi had broken in the supplies and stolen them for a rumored new form of AIDS even more powerful than the dreaded Orochi AIDS. It was disproven as someone had already consumed the Uctions and Mama Luigi have claimed that this new AIDS form was a hoax made by Anti-Uction fanboys.
• Bugs Bunny believes Robotnik is Polish.
• Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a Saturday Morning until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
• Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa spaghetti.
• He built Glados.
• It is rumored that Chowder is his son.
• Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny Asian yellow ranger.
• He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with Sonic's two-tailed little friend, who he affectionately refers to as MILES.
• Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant.
• Robotnik wants you to touch his PINGAS.
• He once had the argument of the century with M. Bison. Later on in that argument, Fat Mario and Captain Falcon would join their respective sides in this argument.
• Dr. Robotnik was considered to be the #7 douchebag of Screwattack's Top Ten List of Douchebags. He was ahead of Wario, Superman (lol, wut?!), and Michael Jackson, yet he failed to defeat the Ruffians from Viva Pinata, the Burger King himself, Bowser, Psycho Mantis, Jack Thompson, and the Duck Hunt Dog itself.
• He drove that hedgehog to the fucking moon once.
• He also once had a crazy cousin named Warpnik. Unfortunetly, he's banished into the Warp of Penis so he isn't with us anymore.
• It was confirmed that Dr. Robotnik was a Nazi/Neo-Nazi, or at least a temporary one.
• It is rumored that before he goes to bed at night he wraps his PINGAS in strips of bacon. That could also explain why his PINGAS makes other penises be ashamed of themselves.
• Oddly enough, he, along with Bowser and Ganon, refused to help King K. Rool seize YouTube Poop in the name of the Angry German Kid.
• Robotnik once joined with Bowser, Ganon, and Dr. Neo Cortex to become the Teenage Mutant Ninja Poopers.
• He recently tricked the Mario Bros. into killing Sonic for him by planting a forged note from the hedgehog for them to find.
• He once suffered a form of tourette syndrome where Hugh Tasmanian Devil-style rambling and "Peanuts" adult speech got injected in his dialogue.
• Also once made a Strawberry Shortcut and tried to do the Pickle Surprise once.

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• Is rumored to masturbate the very instant he sees the "DO NOT MASTURBATE" video. (Subsequentialy, you can see the video on the right right next to this thing here.)
• His nose is actually a second PINGAS.
• With the help of Dracula, he conquered New Jersey; beating Will Smith to the punch.
• He and Robotnikclaus recorded a hit single together titled "Piness Piness Pingas Pingas", which Stimpy J. Cat likes to play constantly much to Ren Hoek's displeasure.
• He has been found to have been sexually assulted again, this time by Big Cheese in 1989, leading to Big Cheese's impeachment.
• The Nostalgia Critic actually once shot his own fucking head off. After he died, all of Mobius exploded into a million pieces.
• Enjoys shoving bricks into his eye and eating wrenches.

Memorable Quotes

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Robotnik's ultimate rival, Sonic.

Robotnik SILENCE!

Robotnik I hate that hedgehog!

Robotnik (While having an orgasm) OOOOH, THAT'S GOOOOD!

Robotnik YOU PISS BRAINS!!

Robotnik rrrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrrooo rrrrro rro. A Robotnik's most IMPORTANT WORK!

Robotnik MAKE ME HAPPY!

Robotnik You miserable mess of microchips!

Robotnik NOTE

Robotnik This is like bending spaghetti!

Robotnik Hurry! We have two more towns to demolish by lunchtime!

Robotnik I'm engulfed in a... dust cloud!

Robotnik DOY...SHOU!

Robotnik Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss??

Robotnik I'll smack yer ma!

Robotnik I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!

Robotnik OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH

Robotnik NO!

Robotnik ..are programmed and ready too fire on anything...thats blue......HEDGEHOG BLUE that is!

Robotnik In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Prepare to engage the brothermio system!

Robotnik And I order you to tell me of any carrots, peppers, and bugs of security, the second Christmas comes up!

Robotnik Snooping as usual, I see?

Robotnik My full name is SUPER Robotnik!

Robotnik For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!

Robotnik Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!

Robotnik 'This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!'

Robotnik AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!

Robotnik I won't just dip her, I'll dunk her! SLAM dunk! Two-handed reverse.

Robotnik By standing on that X!(Points to the right)

Robotnik I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!

Robotnik I'm on the brink of incest! You fail!

Robotnik What kind of nincompoops are you!?!

Robotnik If you don't, I'll melt you down... MY way!

Robotnik I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!

Robotnik Get to the point or your name will be M-U-D!

Robotnik You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!

Robotnik 'NINCOMBOTS!!!'

Robotnik See you next faaaaall!

Robotnik Get out of life!!

Robotnik I thought I was rid of you,you fish-fondiling fruitcake!

Robotnik Hey! Where did that mountain-top come from?!

Robotnik '...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!'

Robotnik This is one time I'm going to do some rottenness, and that hedgehog won't stop me!

Robotnik Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik How did I get in the middle of the ocean?!

Robotnik NICE PEOPLE.

Robotnik Beans...

Robotnik How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!

Robotnik Nice toaster. I must remind my badniks to steal some BREAD for it.

Robotnik You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Tea? TEA?

Robotnik You took the PINGAS right out of my mouth!

Robotnik Surrender to me.

Robotnik My...caboose...

Robotnik WHO CARES?

Robotnik TOMORROW I'LL...

Robotnik PRRR! PRRR!

Robotnik GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

Robotnik OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?

Robotnik ...And so I've decided to dedicate my luxury resort to Mobius's first citizen. A bundle of good looks and sheer genius, all wrapped up in that loveable package we call me!

Robotnik It's time to unleash my extendo-tower-solar-focusing lens ray, and bake Sonic like a BUG!

Robotnik TOUCH MY PENIS!!!

Robotnik My Robo-Transmogrifier will take care of you prehistoric fuzzballs!

Robotnik I HATE Da Bears!

Robotnik 'I'm Dr. Robotnik, I say what I want! I say PINGAS, I say pushy, I say butt, I say crud and sludge, I say ni—BLEEP'

Robotnik YOU DOUBLE NIGGER!

Robotnik I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Warpnik into the Warp of Confusion!

Robotnik Aha! I have just come up with a magnificent scheme! Now you may lick my PINGAS.

Robotnik With your gadgets, and my penis, we'll team up to scoop some poop!

Robotnik Steroid!

Robotnik Oxymoron!!!

Robotnik Well, I do have one small PINGAS!

Robotnik DAAh, forget it!

The Greatest Evil...

After the existence of Scrounder was confirmed, a theory has appeared that Robotnik himself could fuse with the aforementioned monstrosity to form Dr. Scroundbotnik. If this being were ever to be created, it would wield a power mighty enough to rival even Kimera Luigi. Let us hope this never comes to pass...

Family Tree

Template:The Robotnik Family (Sadly, we don't know who's in this fucked up family.)