Dr. Robotnik

This article is filed under Characters.

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Robotnik after having one too many chocolate brains.

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Not Robotnik.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik is a highly popular Youtube Poop character.

Is not to be confused with Dr. Eggman. His evil twin brother from the new-gen Sonic games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.

Career

Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became Super Robotnik, openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands (with a little help from Freakazoid), became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married Bill O'Reilly, possessed King Harkinian's body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful Chaos Emeralds, got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of WarioWare Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over Toon Disney, and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of Robotnik's emporium. He also combined with Weegee to form DOKTOOA EHGGUMAHN. But noone cared so they seperated.

Presidential Run

It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an elaborately designed campaign video. No other characters have announced their intentions to run probably except Rudy Larriva, but many are expected to follow suit.

Robotnik won the presidential election by a wide margin in 2008. He plans to run again for the 2010 presidency, and so far it is rumored that Lex Luthor, his long-term rival, will also run against him.

Likes

• Himself
• A bucket of chicken balls
• His Game Boy
• Travis Touchdown's Beam Katanas
• Fucking with Scratch (Whether Scratch sucks him orally or Dr. Robotnik does him anally is something that they both don't matter on.)
• The Muppet Babies
• Eating a Wagon Wheel
• Going out, out, out the door
• Two free prizes for kids at Little Caesar's
• Strawberry Shortcuts
• Joe the Pesky Plumber
• Wolfgang Amadeus Pingus
• Putting out the Bushroot
• Sex with Donna
• His Creator
• Miku Hatsune
• Fat Bastard, his best friend

Dislikes

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• THAT HEDGEHOG
• Mama Luigi
• Timmy Turner & Jimmy Neutron
• When he loses to Froggo over a bucket of KFC.
• The Lobe
• "That chimpanzee"
• Dio Brando (ruined Robotnik's schemes and all that crap)
• Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.)
• Da Bears
• Clowns
• Snakes
• An alligator who chased him once
• Spot the Chicken
• Dipstick
• 71519
• The Sniper
• Face
• Not being able to say the N-word
• The Killer 7
• Travis Touchdown
• Action 52 & The Cheetahmen
• Animal Soccer World & everything Phoenix Games has ever touched.
• Pickle Surprise
• Every single rebel on Mobius. He wants them all blasted out of existence.
• King Harkinian
• Some Cornflakes
• Agent G & Detective Issac Washington
• Jack from MadWorld
• Agent Ford from The Conduit
• Lex Luthor

Skills

Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's KFC nearby.

Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. Both he and Luffy share a biological defect that resulted in their bodies being made of rubber. He has been known to have uncontrollable fits of laughter.

In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.

Apparently he can blink but it's hard to notice.

His giant ass is so huge that he has to buy custom-built chairs and toilets. His dumps are so enormous that his plumbing pipes must be at least 12 feet wide to avoid clogs.

Gossip

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Robotnik while watching gay porn.

• It is rumored that Scratch has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. (See: ScraBotnik)
• Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
• It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with Zelda, himself, and Ms. Filkins resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
• There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus.
• It's rumored that Sarah is his daughter.
• Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date Makoto Kino, however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
• It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
• In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrander" and "Groutch". Alas, Scrander has been confirmed to really exist recently.
• Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
• Since the fateful day when Osaka had hypnotized the world into hearing her poop idea, Yomi had become Hypnotized into thinking that she was Robotnik for the next two days, as she was seen renditioning the Diploma Dope. One month later, she was infuriated because her appearance on YouTube only had a three star rating. Sakaki watched in horror at the footage of Chiyo Chan being blown up at the end of the video. Tomo started running around the School grounds saying that the incident was Mario's fault since he was with Chiyo at the time; Now he is banned from the city limits of Tokyo, Japan. The Power Star that Mario was about to give chiyo eventually joined Osaka and her minions so that she could make his face seize all the magic balloons in the dungeon of Mr Girrafe's Coney Island Disco Palace so that all the Whats down in Hell will cry "Bobby got NOWHERE!!". Robotnik saw this and wanted to sued Yomi, but he couldn't; he was too buisy licking his bread
• When Rudy Larriva and Mama Luigi announced Hunter Harrison's candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul Robotnik Express for him.
• It is rumored that Robotnik has sued Kingdom Cum over 9000 times due to the never delivered grand prize of unlimited Uctions in the Beautiful Head competition held in 2005. A lesser known rumor is that Mama Luigi had broken in the supplies and stolen them for a rumored new form of AIDS even more powerful than the dreaded Orochi AIDS. It was disproven as someone had already consumed the Uctions and Mama Luigi have claimed that this new AIDS form was a hoax made by Anti-Uction fanboys.
• Bugs Bunny believes Robotnik is Polish.
• Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a Saturday Morning until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
• Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa spaghetti.
• He built Glados.
• It is rumored that Chowder is his son.
• Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny Asian yellow ranger.
• He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with Sonic's two-tailed little friend, who he affectionately refers to as MILES.
• Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant.
• Robotnik wants you to touch his pingas.
• He once had the argument of the century with M. Bison. Later on in that argument, Fat Mario and Captain Falcon would join their respective sides in this argument.
• Dr. Robotnik was considered to be the #7 douchebag of Screwattack's Top Ten List of Douchebags. He was ahead of Wario, Superman (lol, wut?!), and Michael Jackson, yet he failed to defeat the Ruffians from Viva Pinata, the Burger King himself, Bowser, Psycho Mantis, Jack Thompson, and the Duck Hunt Dog itself.
• He drove that hedgehog to the fucking moon once.
• He also once had a crazy cousin named Warpnik. Unfortunetly, he's banished into the Warp of Penis so he isn't with us anymore.
• It was confirmed that Dr. Robotnik was a Nazi/Neo-Nazi, or at least a temporary one.
• It is rumored that before he goes to bed at night he wraps his pingas in stripes of bacon. That could also explain why his pingas makes other pingases be ashamed of themselves.
• Oddly enough, he, along with Bowser and Ganon, refused to help King K. Rool seize YouTube Poop in the name of the Angry German Kid.
• Robotnik once joined with Bowser, Ganon, and Dr. Neo Cortex to become the Teenage Mutant Ninja Poopers.
• He recently tricked the Mario Bros. into killing Sonic for him by planting a forged note from the hedgehog for them to find.
• He once suffered a form of tourette syndrome where Hugh Tasmanian Devil-style rambling and "Peanuts" adult speech got injected in his dialogue.
• Also once made a Strawberry Shortcut and tried to do the Pickle Surprise once.

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• Is rumored to masturbate the very instant he sees the "DO NOT MASTURBATE" video. (Subsequentialy, you can see the video on the right right next to this thing here.)
• His nose is actually a second penis.
• With the help of Dracula, he conquered New Jersey; beating Will Smith to the punch.
• He recorded a hit single titled "Piness Piness Pingas Pingas", which Stimpy J. Cat likes to play constantly much to Ren Hoek's displeasure.
• His PINGAS was touched by Bowser Jr in Missouri in 1988, the final crime that Jr. would commit before suicide.
• He has been found to have been sexually assulted again, this time by Big Cheese in 1989, leading to Big Cheese's impeachment.

Memorable Quotes

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Robotnik's ultimate rival, Sonic.

Robotnik SILENCE!

Robotnik I hate that hedgehog!

Robotnik (While having an orgasm) OOOOH, THAT'S GOOOOD!

Robotnik YOU PISS BRAINS!!

Robotnik rrrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrrooo rrrrro rro. A Robotnik's most IMPORTANT WORK!

Robotnik MAKE ME HAPPY!

Robotnik You miserable mess of microchips!

Robotnik Ilikehan2fransomNEVAHftdilisserlNOTE

Robotnik This is like bending spaghetti!

Robotnik Hurry! We have two more towns to demolish by lunchtime!

Robotnik I'm engulfed in a... dust cloud!

Robotnik DOY...SHOU!

Robotnik Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss??

Robotnik I'll smack yer ma!

Robotnik I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!

Robotnik OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH

Robotnik NO!

Robotnik ..are programmed and ready too fire on anything...thats blue......HEDGEHOG BLUE that is!

Robotnik In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Prepare to engage the brothermio system!

Robotnik And I order you to tell me of any carrots, peppers, and bugs of security, the second Christmas comes up!

Robotnik Snooping as usual, I see?

Robotnik My full name is SUPER Robotnik!

Robotnik For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!

Robotnik And best of all, Froggo is being kept too busy to even notice!

Robotnik Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!

Robotnik PINGAS!

Robotnik 'This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!'

Robotnik AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!

Robotnik I won't just dip her, I'll dunk her! SLAM dunk! Two-handed reverse.

Robotnik By standing on that X!(Points to the right)

Robotnik I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!

Robotnik I'm on the brink of incest! You fail!

Robotnik What kind of nincompoops are you!?!

Robotnik If you don't, I'll melt you down... MY way!

Robotnik I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!

Robotnik Get to the point or your name will be M-U-D!

Robotnik You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!

Robotnik 'NINCOMBOTS!!!'

Robotnik See you next faaaaall!

Robotnik Get out of life!!

Robotnik MOOOREE Toilet paper...

Robotnik OHOO-WAHEY-AH-HO-WHAAHAHAOOOOOA

Robotnik I thought I was rid of you,you fish-fondiling fruitcake!

Robotnik Hey! Where did that mountain-top come from?!

Robotnik Sonic is trapped in there... and the rest of Mobius is out here! And it's mine! It's mine! All mine! Alllll miiiiiine!!! (pokes at himself with his thumb twice)

Robotnik '...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!'

Robotnik This is one time I'm going to do some rottenness, and that hedgehog won't stop me!

Robotnik Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik How did I get in the middle of the ocean?!

Robotnik HOPEICE

Robotnik E-E-A CAKE

Robotnik It's booby-trapped!

Robotnik Cut the monitors!

Robotnik UH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH.

Robotnik NICE PEOPLE.

Robotnik Beans...

Robotnik SnooPING AS usual, i see?

Robotnik How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!

Robotnik Nice toaster. I must remind my badniks to steal some BREAD for it.

Robotnik You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Tea? TEA?

Robotnik You took the PENIS right out of my mouth!

Robotnik Surrender to me.

Robotnik SENINGYOP.

Robotnik My...caboose...

Robotnik I WAS A VIRGIN!!!

Robotnik WHO CARES?

Robotnik TOMORROW I'LL...

Robotnik PRRR! PRRR!

Robotnik GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

Robotnik BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SNAAAAAAKES! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES!

Robotnik I NEDA TAKE A DUMP OPEN THE DOOR!!

Robotnik OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?

Robotnik Penis is always more enjoyable when it's based on the misery of people who love PENISH!

Robotnik ...And so I've decided to dedicate my luxury resort to Mobius's first citizen. A bundle of good looks and sheer genius, all wrapped up in that loveable package we call me!

Robotnik It's time to unleash my extendo-tower-solar-focusing lens ray, and bake Sonic like a BUG!

Robotnik PLUCK EVERY HAIR FROM MY AIDSTASTIC HEAD

Robotnik Crap! I think I have AIDS! *sob*

Robotnik I need head before I can activate my PENIS!

Robotnik You took the PENIS right out of my mouth!

Robotnik TOUCH MY PENIS!!!

Robotnik At last, my very own time machine! Now I can proceed with my cleverest plan of all time - gathering the four most important items in the history of Mobius, the all-powerful Chaos Emeralds! With them, I will possess invisibility, invincibility, immortality, volcanicity, personality, lamp oil, rope, bombs, Koopa Football Players, toasters, Burbank, virus, Superman, Dumbledore, booms, tree, Underdog, Sparta, Mama Luigi, smoke, sex, and finally, the power of life itself! With the Chaos Emeralds, no one can stop me from yiffing Tyrannosaurus Alan!

Robotnik Noooo! That's my porn!

Robotnik Finally, I've got them all - my precious Chaos Emeralds. Now all I have to do is place them around my neck. Invulnerability! Invisibility! Immortality! And the Power of Life! Put them all together, it spells M-A-D-D-E-A-C-M-H-S-E-D-V-M-A-V-E-D-C-4, the Supreme High Robotnik, the most powerful man in the universe!

Robotnik My Robo-Transmogrifier will take care of you prehistoric fuzzballs!

Robotnik [We're going back in time] To get the Chaos Emerald of Life, you fools! With it, I can bring Sherlock Holmes back to life!

Robotnik Oooooh, I hate that hedgehog. Not only does Sonic mess up all my plans to take over Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, but now they're putting his ugly ***k on the money! I'll make it so that every Mobius bill will have my dazzilingly cruel ***k on it.

Robotnik DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HE'S GAY!

Robotnik HEEEEE's GAY!

Robotnik The lord of thus now say will but not bless you, oh whack yam the mosquitoes - F.U.

Robotnik Promotion?! What For?!

Robotnik When I first realized I was a joke, I invented my dick!

Robotnik STEROID!!!

Robotnik I HATE Da Bears!

Robotnik 'I'm Dr. Robotnik, I say what I want! I say PINGAS, I say pushy, I say butt, I say crud and sludge, I say ni—BLEEP'

Robotnik I'm A Douche!

Robotnik I'll turn Mobius into my oooooown... ASS!

Robotnik A little taste of my dick will cramp his style

Robotnik I WANT THAT NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Robotnik You Double Nigger.

Robotnik I haven't SEEN such lunacy since I banned my crazy cousin Warpnik into the Warp of PEnis.

Robotnik Aha! I have just come up with a magnificent scheme! Now you may lick my penis.

Robotnik With your gadgets, and my penis, we'll team up to scoop some poop!

Robotnik I've called you all here because you are the biggest faggots ever since Chris Crocker and The Jonas Brothers! You're Penis-Puffers; Ball-Stranglers; Shaft-Massagers; You're My Kind of People!!!

Robotnik But every time I try and do something homosexual, That Fucking Blue Rat always ruins my scheme and causes me to tear Every Hair from my 60-Year Old Ballsack!

Robotnik All That Dick Sucking has caused my teeth to rot!

Robotnik He refuses to write up PINGAS!!!

Robotnik But No More. No Fucking More! I hereby declare Sonic as the biggest piece of ass on Mobius! For whoever rapes Sonic the hardest in the ass, I'm giving you 1,000,000 Blowjobs!!! Bring him to me.

Robotnik Rape Him! Rape Him Good!!!

Robotnik Hotcakes. Isn't that nice? You know what I like on my hotcakes? CHOCOLATE COVERED COCK!!!

Robotnik You took the words right out of my mouth! I hate that Lobe! He ruins my nice people! He escapes my schemes! He helps traps!

Robotnik Diabeetus!

Robotnik Steroids!

Robotnik Oxymoron!!!

Robotnik You Cocksucker! This is no time for you to fall apart, This Is Sparta!

Robotnik You Infinigger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Greatest Evil...

After the existence of Scrander was confirmed, a theory has appeared that Robotnik himself could fuse with the aforementioned monstrosity to form Dr. Scraoundbotnik. If this being were ever to be created, it would wield a power mighty enough to rival even Kimera Luigi. Let us hope this never comes to pass...