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Yoshi

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

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Name: Sir Yoshi Murashima
Appears In: Super Mario World
Sex: Male
Age: 62
Nationality: Japanese

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

Yoshi is a green fat lizard or dinosaur. He is known for his obsession of worms, and is also forced to act like he does because of rape threats from Dic. He is also known to get fat instantly upon consumption of food. He also owns a drugstore with his newest medication, Bad Medicine, sold there.

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FAT YOSHI IS FAT

He has a wife named Birdo, who, contrary to popular belief, is female.

Diet

Yoshi can pretty much eat anything except himself (disproven by ADHDYoshi & Shmorky) and Mama Luigi (she has too many STDs, and is considred a biohazard).

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Yoshi's final rapist form

Background

Yoshi (pronounced Yo-she in America, Yosh-e in Europe and from himself) was born on February 12, 1947 in Tokyo, Japan. In 1989, Mama Luigi tried using her evil magic to de-age him and erase his memory, so that she could revise history. This failed when Wizardheimer sued Mama Luigi for unauthorized use of his magic. The judge ruled that the magic must cease. Dic, though, threatened Yoshi with anal-rape if he didn't continue acting like a 5-year old.

Porn Magazines

Yoshi stars in the "Sexy Dino Daily" porn magazine.

Yoshi before being captured by DiC and Mama Luigi.

Trivia

  • Yoshi is believed to be an arsonist.
  • Started the wildfires of October '07 in Southern California.
  • Was America's most wanted person (See above reason.).
  • Last seen in the Santa Ana Mountains near Mission Viejo, CA on December 8, 2007.
  • Enjoys raping Santa Mario by the holidays.
  • Holds second place for two awards: "Poop Character who has had sex the most time" (beaten by Link), and "Poop Character who has starred in the most porn" (beaten by Sora).
  • Was turned into a pussy in Yoshi's Story.
  • Owns an Edsel, which he bought from Big Cheese.
  • Owns a drug store that sells Bad Medicine.
  • Has an IQ of 195, but doesn't show it because DiC has threatened to anally rape him if he acts intelligent.
  • Is a member of the NRA, and loves shooting things, especially Mama Luigi (He even has targets of Mama Luigi in his basement.).
  • Was knighted by the Princess for his heroic actions during the Dinner War in 1987.
  • Is usually a fighter pilot in wars.
    • Prefers the F-14 Tomcat over all other forms of aircraft.

Likes

File:Bounce.gif
Believe it or not, Yoshi loves himself some Boobies.
  • Fire Balls
  • Caterpillars
  • Eating
  • Getting Fat
  • To Do The Hoe Thing.
  • Bed Time Stories.
  • Treats
  • Dinner
  • Having Orgasms
  • Cumming all over the Sierra Nevada during Winter.
  • Tricking people into thinking that his cum is not cum and is snow instead.
  • Burping
  • Raping
  • Setting Wildfires (Like the ones that Yoshi set in Southern California in October '07.)
Yoshi has a large appetite, and will eat just about anything, even tennis rackets.
  • McDonalds
  • Carls Jr.
  • White Castle
  • Jack In The Box Crack
  • KFC
  • Burger King
  • Wendy's
  • Del Taco & Taco Bell
  • Panda Express
  • Pizza Hut
  • Hungry Jack's (Australia's Burger King.) He has to go to Australia just to get one of the burgers not on his country's Burger King menu.
  • Saving 15% of his stuff when switching to GEICO.
  • Freddy's Steakburgers
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Yoshi loves shooting things in his spare time, especially Mama Luigi.
Yoshi doing his usual thing and giving something a perfect 10 out of 10 score.

Liked By

Dislikes

  • Running out of food.
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Yoshi showing all the bitches ladies his (sexy) ass.
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This is Yoshi's Edsel, which he bought from Big Cheese.

Disliked By

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You know you love him.

Quotes

Yoshi Yoshi

Glubba-dub-glubba! I hate wattah!

Yoshi Yoshi

Ooohohoh! Yoshi love caterpillars!

Yoshi Yoshi

Yoshi no understand why princess mad... caterpillar DELICIOUS!

Yoshi Yoshi

BURRRRP!

Yoshi Yoshi

Yoshi Think Luigi Mama!! Hahaha!

Yoshi Yoshi

Yoshi love motorcycle. Go VAROOOOOOOM!

Yoshi Yoshi

Oooooh uggabuggabumchuck, I hate water! I can do it... but do I have to do it now?

Yoshi Yoshi

Key no taste good.

Yoshi Yoshi

GASP! That Mean -DUM DE DUM DUM DUM- ...WAAAATERRRRRRR!

Yoshi Yoshi

Oh, this DOOM thing definetely more fun than tennis!

Yoshi Yoshi

Yoshi go home and JACK IT.

Yoshi Yoshi

Fireballs: YUM!

Yoshi Yoshi

Balls: YUM!

Yoshi Yoshi

Famo Famo Sheeduck.

Yoshi Yoshi

BLAU!

Yoshi Yoshi

YEEEARGH!!

Legal Issues & Politics

More info is coming soon..

The regime is attempting to have The Princess overthrown for reasons as follows:

  • Attempted extermination of the Dino population
  • Falsely accusing of wrongdoing
  • Robberies
  • Distrust of the Kingdom
  • Wanting to murder both Uctions & Anti-Uctions (Again!)!

If this impeachment passes, Yoshi and King Koopa will host an election for who will be the next leader of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario, Gay Luigi, Tails and Zelda remain neutral of the situation. Local opposition include: Fat Mario, Mama Luigi, Link, Sonic and The King.

See Also:

Yoshi's gives this article about him a perfect 10 (See, I told you that he loves giving stuff a perfect 10.).