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Yoshi
This article is filed under Characters.Yoshi is a green fat lizard or dinosaur. He is known for his obsession of worms, and is also forced to act like he does because of rape threats from Dic. He is also known to get fat instantly upon consumption of food. He also owns a drugstore with his newest medication, Bad Medicine, sold there.
He has a wife named Birdo, who, contrary to popular belief, is female.
Diet
Yoshi can pretty much eat anything except himself (disproven by ADHDYoshi & Shmorky) and Mama Luigi (she has too many STDs, and is considred a biohazard).
Background
Yoshi (pronounced Yo-she in America and the Mario Bros., Yosh-e in Europe and from himself) was born on February 12, 1947 in Tokyo, Japan. In 1989, Mama Luigi tried using her evil magic to de-age him and erase his memory, so that she could revise history. This failed when Wizardheimer sued Mama Luigi for unauthorized use of his magic. The judge ruled that the magic must cease. Dic, though, threatened Yoshi with anal-rape if he didn't continue acting like a 5-year old.
Death
After Zelda's suicide on July 1, 2009 being sucessful, Link tried to jump off a bridge, accidentally landing on Yoshi. Mama Luigi told him one last bedtime story, and then he died..... But, Mama Luigi didn't know that Yoshi asked Ganon for a ride back to the pooping world, and thus, Yoshi is still alive.
Trivia
- Owns an Edsel, which he bought from Big Cheese.
- Owns a drug store that sells Bad Medicine.
- Has an IQ of 195, but doesn't show it because DiC has threatened to anally rape him if he acts intelligent.
- Is a member of the NRA, and loves shooting things, especially Mama Luigi (He even has targets of Mama Luigi in his basement.).
- Was knighted by the Princess for his heroic actions during the Dinner War in 1987.
- Is an expert at licking ladies for sexual pleasure. Infact, many bitches want him not only because of his kawaii nature, but also for his special tongue.
- One time, he was a ninja that helped out the poor.
Likes
- Birdo
- Fire Balls
- Caterpillars
- Eating
- Bed Time Stories.
- Fast food, such as McDonalds or KFC.
- Hell, food in general.
- As well as Coca-Cola.
- Philadelphia, because of food.
- Saving 15% of his stuff when switching to GEICO.
- Guns (During his spare time.)
- Shooting Things (Especially Mama Luigi)
- Killing Things (See Above)
- Wars
- Sports, such as Baseball and American Football.
- Bombs (You want it? It's yours, my friend. As long as you have enough Rupees.)
- Giving random shit a perfect 10.
- Hoping that no ghosts are in Chanted Forest.
- DOOM
Liked By
- His Wife Birdo
- Miss10
- DaftPunkYoshi
- Cool Cats
- Japan (Is the #3 favourite video game character there.)
- Iggy Koopa and Lemmy Koopa. (When Oogtar's not around.)
- Wendy O. (She thinks he is kawaii.)
- M. Bison (He, too, thinks that this is delicious!)
- King Harkinian (They both love dinner.)
- Many Others
Dislikes
- Running out of food.
- Unprepared Fish
- Water (It kills his fires.)
- Ghosts.
- Bullet Bills
- Being in only, like, 5 levels in New Super Mario Bros. Wii (hopes to be in more levels in Super Mario Galaxy 2 than just 5).
- Ganon
- Wizardheimer
- Meatman
- Haunted Houses
- Anal Sex
- Los Angeles, CA
- Going to bed so soon.
- The Cave People
- Mama Luigi (Only acts like he likes her so Dic won't rape him.)
- Boshi the blue dick.
- PETA (Prevents him from eating KFC.)
- Pepsi
- Peace
- Fred Phelps (for being a hate-monger.)
Disliked By
- Bowser (Especially when he raped him once.)
- Oogtard
- Bowser Jr.
- Fags
- Steve
- Squares
- Hippies
- Iggy Koopa and Lemmy Koopa. (When Oogtar's around.)
- Fred Phelps (Says that he is going to hell for some reason.)
Quotes
Yoshi Glubba-dub-glubba! I hate wattah!
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Yoshi Ooohohoh! Yoshi love caterpillars!
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Yoshi BURRRRP!
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Yoshi Yoshi Think Luigi Mama!! Hahaha!
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Yoshi Yoshi love motorcycle. Go VAROOOOOOOM!
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Yoshi Oooooh uggabuggabumchuck, I hate water! I can do it... but do I have to do it now?
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Yoshi Key no taste good.
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Yoshi GASP! That Mean -DUM DE DUM DUM DUM- ...WAAAATERRRRRRR!
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Yoshi Oh, this DOOM thing definetely more fun than tennis!
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Yoshi Fireballs: YUM!
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Yoshi Balls: YUM!
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Yoshi Famo Famo Sheeduck.
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Yoshi BLAU!
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Yoshi YEEEARGH!!
Legal Issues & Politics
- As of Sunday December 16, 2007, Yoshi started a group of people that were against The Princess and wanted complete power of the Mushroom Kingdom and Dino World. This is known as the Yoshi regime. This regime includes the following people as official members of the regime:
- Yoshi - Secretary of Defense & Leader
- King Koopa - Prime Minister
- Bowser - 1st Lieutentant
- Wizardheimer - 2nd Lieutentant
- Cheatsy/Larry - First Lord of the Treasury
- Robotnik - House of Representatives
- Yoshkins - House of Congress
- Bully/Roy - General
- Kooky/Ludwig Von - Vice President
- Hip/Lemmy and Hop/Iggy - Yoshi's Cabinet
- Ganon - Admiral
- Uctions - Alternative Vice President
More info is coming soon..
The regime is attempting to have The Princess overthrown for reasons as follows:
- Attempted extermination of the Dino population
- Falsely accusing of wrongdoing
- Robberies
- Distrust of the Kingdom
- Wanting to murder both Uctions & Anti-Uctions (Again!)!
If this impeachment passes, Yoshi and King Koopa will host an election for who will be the next leader of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario, Gay Luigi, Tails and Zelda remain neutral of the situation. Local opposition include: Fat Mario, Mama Luigi, Link, Sonic and The King.
See Also:
