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Difference between revisions of "M. Bison"

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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*[[Nostalgia Critic|The Nostalgia Critic]]
 
*[[Nostalgia Critic|The Nostalgia Critic]]
 
*Seeing [[Ken]] [[rape]] [[Ryu]].
 
*Seeing [[Ken]] [[rape]] [[Ryu]].
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*[[Coca-Cola]]
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*[[Balrog]]
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[[Image:99771973et3.png|right|thumb|[[Fat Mario]], after being posessed by Bison.]]
  
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[[Image:99771973et3.png|right|thumb|[[Fat Mario]], after being posessed by Bison.]]
 
 
== Dislikes ==
 
== Dislikes ==
 
*Saying [[No|No!]]
 
*Saying [[No|No!]]

Revision as of 18:34, 27 September 2009

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

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Name: Master Bison
Appears In: Street Fighter
Sex: Male
Age: Somewhere between the ages of 30 & 50.
Nationality: Canadian
Occupation(s): Dictator, Street Fighter
Played By: Richard Newman, Norio Wakamoto, Tomomichi Nishimura, Gerald C. Rivers, Tom Wyner, Raul Julia, Neal McDonough

M. Bison is known for eating handheld televisions and running down corridors over and over again. Ever in love with himself, he experiences an orgasm whenever a closeup of himself is shown followed by bagpipe music. YES!

YES!

He also once claimed that he doesn't have buttocks.

Source

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Bison and Balrog, as seen in an advertisement for Coca-Cola.

Small Backstory

Little is known about Bison's youth and his early years, even as to when he was born (most game manuals list his birth year as unknown), but he appears to be in his late 30's to mid 40's, although he could be much older, or even younger. It is at least known that he created Shadaloo 20 years before the start of the series. His first appearance, chronologically speaking, was in Street Fighter Alpha, as the head of an elusive criminal and military organization known as Shadaloo. Along with his aspirations for world conquest, Bison had been working on perfecting a lethal and deadly energy that would exponentially increase his fighting ability, an inherently evil energy he refers to as "Psycho Power". During the events of Street Fighter Alpha, Shadaloo came to the attention of Interpol, which sent Chun-Li (an operative with a personal vendetta against the crime lord, who had killed her father) to thwart Bison's plans. Chun-Li and Bison eventually confronted each other and battled. Bison defeated Chun-Li and then escaped on his helicopter while mocking her and promising to kill her in the same manner he killed her father if she confronts him again. During the events of Alpha or Alpha 2, Bison also came into conflict with Rose, a mysterious woman who wielded Soul Power, the opposite of Bison's Psycho Power. This fact and the fact that her quest was to stop any and all of Bison's evil plans indicate the intricate connection between the two, and would later be revealed in Street Fighter Alpha 3.

This is what M. Bison would look like if he was kidnapped and captured by SNK.

Mmmhmm...

Name Change

When Street Fighter II was localized in America, Capcom was afraid of a lawsuit from Mike Tyson over a character with his likeness and a similar sounding name (Mike Bison). Additionally, when the designers presented the game to Capcom USA's marketing department, they believed that the name Vega was a weakling's name. They decided to rotate the names of three of the four boss characters (Sagat didn't get a name change because he was already in the first Street Fighter game.) in the following manner:

  • The Spanish assassin/bullfighter known as Balrog in Japan was changed to Vega elsewhere.
  • The evil dictator and head of Shadaloo known as Vega in Japan was changed to M. Bison elsewhere.

THAT MEANS VEGA (IN JAPAN) IS DELICIOUS. :O (OH SHI-)

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Bison's super teeth of death.

Bison's Arse

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The only existing photo of Bison's Arse

Back in the day, whenever Bison felt a bit malicious, he'd invoke a dreaded and forbidden power known only as "Bison's Arse". This led to the emergence of Captain Guile, who, being a very brave man, proclaimed, "Bison's Ass is mine!" and launched a never-ending campaign against the posterior of pain, eventually ending when Guile rammed a Sonic Boom up Bison's Arse, ending the terror forever... or so it seemed.

File:Bison HUH!.bmp
Bison at the time of Bison's arse's resurgence.
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Captain Falcon's impersonation of Bison's arse.

In June 2007, Bison's Arse resurfaced, this time as a completely seperate entity. His first heinous act being killing Hinata Hyuga with Orochi AIDS, ending Guile's latest mission in failure. It is unknown what Bison's Arse may be planning next. Bison`s Arse is currently living in the labyrinth dungeon of Hollow Bastion

M.Bison had this to say about Bison's Arse.

"I'm afraid I don't have one!"

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"He's afraid he does not have one!" A common artist's impression of the dreaded Bison's Arse.
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Demoman suffering a fate worse than death - being forced to stare into Bison's Arse for 12 millenia.

Likes

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Fat Mario, after being posessed by Bison.

Dislikes

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Even the Nostalgia Critic has sucummbed to the power of Bison's Arse.

Trivia

  • Dan is superior.
  • Dan is delicious.
  • He's friends with G-Man.
  • Has a scary grin (in which most people hate).
  • Spins cardboard boxes in his hands.
  • He likes to watch wrestling matches on his odd-looking iPod. (Though I think it's supposed to be a video radio, I'm honestly not too sure.)
  • He dethroned Link as the Best Wii Player of Koridai.
  • He wants Balrog (who's Mike Bison for those of you Japanese purists) to not be hasty about getting rid of those special videos that he has, which are runoured to contain gay porn.
  • He really wants Ash Ketchup to be pummeled to dust (even though he did die once).
  • He once had an apple that was named after him. The apple was called the M. Bison Apple. It looked like M. Bison whenever he orgasmed and it had quotes all over it.
  • Takes steroids in between appearances. Notice how he's anorexic in all versions of the Street Fighter II games, the Capcom Vs. SNK series (Not the SNK Vs. Capcom games though), and in those piece of shit Street Fighter movies, yet he's super muscular everywhere else.
  • Without his hat, he looks suspiciously like Dan Hibiki and Buzz Lightyear.
  • He once had the argument of the century with Dr. Robotnik. Later on in that argument, Captain Falcon and Fat Mario would join their respective sides in this argument.
  • Now he's having the same argument with Lex Luthor.
  • Loves Balrog's special skills at Photoshop while using his fucking gloves to do his shit.
  • He once was interviewed by Bill O'Reilly. He referenced himself as a DELICIOUS thing and he answered almost every question by saying YES twice.
  • He has the power of YES, which is the opposite of Fat Mario's NO power. No matter how hard you try to decline a statement made by M. Bison, he WILL have things his way. YES!!!
  • He hates the fact that the new Street Fighter movie made him look like a piece of shit stereotypical rich guy villian.
  • Was not only in the Street Fighter video games, but was also in the X-Men/Marvel Vs. Street Fighter/Capcom games, SNK Vs. Capcom games, and Namco Vs. Capcom.
  • Rivals with Geese Howard according to SNK vs. Capcom. Coincidentally, they sometimes have gay sex with each other whenever the oppurtunity arrives.
  • Geese also stood in for him in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.
  • Loves going sledding when he gets a chance. (Pocket Fighter)
  • According to some people, he wears himself a communist type of outfit.
  • Got majorly pissed off when he found out that he wasn't going to be in Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: Cross Generation of Heroes, even though the fact was that the Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom fighter said it was the cross generation of Heroes, which he isn't one of. To make him happy, though, he somehow got the power to make Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: Cross Generation of Heroes stay in Japan only, despite the fact that it would've not made Nintendo Wii owners very happy and made them even when the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 owners got Street Fighter IV, but it also would've made the possibility of Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 become a reality. What a bastard. Unfortunetly, his plan failed when he found out that a newer and better version of the game was announced for North America and Europe called Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: The Ultimate All Stars, and it's still missing him. Boo.
  • In the game X-Men Vs. Street Fighter, Magneto and M. Bison would team up, but were intending on betraying each other at a later time. In Magneto's ending, he eventually manages to get the upper hand and kill him. M. Bison's Shadaloo henchmen (Balrog, Vega, & Sagat) would join him afterwards, for they are fearful of Magneto's power. The opposite happens in M. Bison's ending, though he doesn't get any of Magneto's henchmen in return.
  • In Street Fighter: The Later Years, he's just an old man in a wheelchair, and Vega and Sagat have betrayed him. Also, Chun-Li strangled him with her own bra. What a lucky bastard.
  • In the Nostalgia Critic's review of Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog, he crushed him by dropping from nowhere and yelling, "OF COURSE!!!" However, that was due to him admitting that he was sick of the M. Bison "OF COURSE!!!" joke and said that he'd never use him ever again. He shall pay for that retards foolishness!
  • Once told the King that dust was for dinner and he even said that dust was delicious! However, the King didn't want any of that crap, so M. Bison tried to kill the King, but he used the Triforce of Courage at the last minute to protect himself and kill him.
  • Might have porno inside his special VHS tape (the one Balrog tried to destroy).
  • Eventually, Balrog gave M. Bison his tape, saying that it was "time for the tape."
  • Loved the fact that Marvel Vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes would return on the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 because he never did unfortunently own a copy of that game.
  • Does wish that he was in the Street Fighter III games, especially Street Fighter III: The 3rd Strike. (Too bad he was dead at the time.)
  • Hates Santa Claus because he ate all of his milk and drank all of his cookies. (How he even did that or why it was only him who became a victim is still a mystery.)
  • Isn't it kind of creepy that everybody who works for him (save Balrog, Vega, Birdie and Sagat) is a 15-year-old girl wearing a tight outfit?
  • According to Street Fighter Alpha 2, the guy has a pretty decent sense of humour.
  • Used to work as a Mountie, which explains the red uniform.
  • M. Bison's voice actor in the cartoons was Richard Newman, who also voiced Ginyu in Dragon Ball Z, Rhinox in Beast Wars, and Bear Hugger in Punch Out!! for the Nintendo Wii (TIMBER!!!).
  • Speaking of Bear Hugger, he wanted Little Mac to kill that son of a bitch for him for the reason that he stole and modified his voice.
  • M. Bison also once had plastic surgery. However, after a few days with his new face, he decided not to have it anymore. (A rare picture of M. Bison with his face from his time with the plastic surgery is shown at the bottom of this article.)
  • His "This Is Delicious!" and "Yes! YES!!!" are both so powerful that it can even survive the most loudest noise removaler ever made!!!!!! (Coincidentally, you can find this video right here.)

{{#ev:youtube|a93DECb9NHI|320}}

  • He loves The House of The Dead: Overkill so much that he said that it was fucking delicious.
  • He also sang for a song in that said game, in which people said that it was fucking insane genious.
  • It is rumoured that a record was found at the University of Illinois archives of a student named "Mike Bison", who played on their American Football team. When questioned of this, M. Bison answered "Yes! Yes!", but it is assumed that he was high at the time of questioning.
  • It is also rumoured that the tapes that Balrog made for him contain yaoi.
  • His first actor in a Street Fighter movie (Raul Julia) died right after it was released. However, while it was his last movie role he would do, it wasn't the last role he ever did (He was also an actor on a TV show after his role of being M. Bison.).
  • He likes bagpipe music, not unlike the Demoman.
  • Mike Tyson wants to have revenge on him for stealing his name in a clever way.
  • He might have been a former leader of Team Rocket.

See Also

{{#ev:youtube|nSz49ZOi0dM|320}}

Quotes

  • THIS IS DELICIOUS!
  • DON'T BE HASTY.
  • DELICIOUS!!!
  • Yes!
  • YES!!
  • NO!
  • NO!!
  • OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • (donk) Yes?!
  • Which should be any moment now!
  • How Nice. He did the work for us.
M. Bison has a sister. Who would have guessed?
  • Heh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh.
  • Heh-eh-eh-eh.
  • Welcome my trio of terror.
  • You worthless pile of excrement!
  • YOU'RE MINE!
  • YOUR ASS IS MINE!
  • I don't give a shit.
  • uhuhuhu...afraid I dont have one.
  • ENERGY BURST!!
  • For I beheld Satan as he fell from heaven!...LIKE LIGHTNING!!!!
M. Bison being parodied.
  • What's wrong, Guile? Still thinking about your friend I killed? Try Harder!
  • Well now, it would appear I've touched a sensitive spot!
  • Yes, Yes, I killed MY father too, and you don't hear ME whining about it!
  • What is it with you women anyway?
  • Well, yes.
  • THIS IS LISCIOUS!
  • LISCIOUS!!!
  • BAAALROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Patience, patience my pets. You're time is coming.
  • What have they done to my creations?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
  • Time for the tape.
  • I'm sorry... I don't remember any of it.
  • For you, the day Bison graced your village.. was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
  • On the contrary, I mourn.
  • I was hoping to face Guile personally on the battlefield. One gentleman warrior to another... in respectful combat. Then I would snap his spine.
  • AH, {Sigh} The road not taken.
  • Why? Why do they still call me a warlord? And Mad?!
  • All I want to do, is to create the perfect genetic soldier. Not for power, not for evil, but for good.
  • Carlos Blanka will be the first of many that shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, Every Creed, EVERY NATION... until the very planet is in the loving grip of the packs of Bisonica.
  • And then peace will reign, and the world... and all humanity, shall bow to me... in humble gratitude.
  • Scream in pain! NIGHTMARE BOOSTER!!
  • This place shall become your grave!
Behold M. Bison and his powerful orgasms.
  • Dust Is Delicious!!!
  • You talk too much!
  • PSYCHO CRUSHA!!
  • PSYCHO CHRUSHER!!
  • PSYCHO KICK!!
  • 1... 2... 2/1... 2 3/4...
  • NEED A HUG!?
  • I like raw fish.
  • Find me his ass, so we can rape him!!
  • Now, face the Mighty Bison (Flashes his teeth at you.).
  • Ha! You Suck!
This is what M. Bison will be like in the next Scribblenauts game.
M. Bison after his plastic surgery.

{{#ev:youtube|YRw8Ma8sgSw|320}}

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M. Bison after finding out that the link doesn't work.
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Also him after seeing Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, Chris-Chan's Sex Tape, and that he's not in Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom.
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