From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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He's also a self-proclaimed meme for the Chewiki.
How The Demoman Came To Be
- Grenade Launcher: Fires 4 grenades before needing a reload, yet it can hold six at once. That's pretty fucking gay.
- Stickybomb Launcher: Fires up to 8 grenades which stick to surfaces, which then can be detonated remotely just by him thinking about it and/or mockingly saluting his enemies left-handed.
- Bottle: Once held scrumpy. Now only holds the Demoman's tears, and possibly urine. Oh, did I mention he might break it over your skull?
- Chargin' Targe: This shield allows you to charge toward your enemies while giving you a temporary critical boost and allowing you to bash or slice off the head of your foe. Has afterburn immunity just in case you miss and end up too close to an angry Pyro. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- Scottish Resistance: Allows you to tactically detonate sticky grenades, but most Demos won't care since they're too busy trying to stickyspam with the regular sticky-launcher or trying to chop them down with a Targe/Sword combo. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- Eyelander: Totally not a reference to Highlander, you become faster and stronger with each kill. No, there can never be only one, not as long as every Demoman out there is wielding this unbalanced piece of shit. Replaces the Bottle.
- Sticky Jumper: If the Soldier gets a no-damage Rocket Launcher for jump practice, why shouldn't the Demoman get something similar? As its name suggests, it's primarily for practicing Sticky Jumps and deals no damage at all. Incoming jump maps without health kits! Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker: A haunted axe similar to the Eyelander crafted from haunted metal taken from one of three boss characters in the game: The Horseless Headless Horsemann. Replaces the Bottle.
- Nessie's Nine Iron: The Demoman gets stereotypical (kind of) by whacking off the heads of his enemies with this golf club. Fore! Wait...golf...bludgeoning people...what will the Sniper say? Anyway, works the same as the Eyelander and replaces the Bottle.
- Conscientious Objector: You are now a conscientious objector to being DEAD, thanks to this protest sign with which you can put on ANY IMAGE and I mean ANY IMAGE (Provided you have the tool)! Replaces the Bottle.
- Necro Smasher: A miniature replica of the hammer used in the World's Largest Strongman Machine. Not only the classic tool for testing your strength, but also a great blood-splattering, bone-breaking bludgeon! Replaces the Bottle.
- Pain Train: A makeshift club made from a discarded Axtinguisher handle and an iron railroad spike, which inexplicably increases the wielder's capture rate. The Soldier can also wield this weapon. Replaces the Bottle.
- Scotsman's Skullcutter: An axe that slows you down (while being used) but deals more damage. What is this game becoming, fucking World of Warcraft? Replaces the Bottle.
- Loch-n-load: The skilled Demoman's choice. This baby fires fast grenades that cause huge damage on enemies, but break harmlessly on anything else. To add to the skill, only two grenades can be fired before reloading. Replaces the Grenade Launcher.
- Ullapool Caber: A Mann Co stick grenade. Any other man would throw it but the Demoman's constant intoxication makes him just hit people with it. Every time the Demoman hits, the Caber's head explodes injuring himself or both him and an enemy if present. Replaces the Bottle.
- Claidheamh-Mor: Similar to the Eyelander but doesn't keep a head count. Be prepared to take frequent trips to the Resupply Cabinet. Also restores some charge if you charge and decapitate your target. Replaces the Bottle.
- Half-Zatoichi: Don't pull this katana out when you don't need it, because you can't swap to another weapon until you make a kill with this one. The Soldier can also use this...wait...are they just gonna battle sword to sword rather than capping the intelligence? Anywho, replaces the Bottle.
- Splendid Screen: Does the same job as the Targe, but the shield bash hurts at ANY POSSIBLE RANGE, in trade for weaker resistance. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- Persian Persuader: Recharges your shield charge faster than normal and all ammo collected turns to health. Bad news for Demomen who prefer to have at least one explosives weapon in their loadout. Replaces the Bottle.
- Ali Baba's Wee Booties: To make up for that crushing defeat against the BLU Soldier, here's some shoes with the ability to TURN while charging! You'd better watch yourself. He also gets some charge replenished if he kills you with one. Replaces the Grenade Launcher.
- Bootlegger: This was long in coming. It's a pirate's boot and a peg leg for...doing the exact same thing as the Wee Booties...Replaces the Grenade Launcher.
- Scottish Handshake: The family rum! Too bad it still holds tears and urine like its counterpart...and there's nothing special about it. Just another Bottle, which it replaces.
- Bat Outta Hell: This gruesome skull on a spine gives new meaning to the word "headbanging" as you whack your enemies with it! In fact, you can make this weapon by tearing out your own skull and spine...actually, don't. Replaces the Bottle.
- Loose Cannon: A portable pirate cannon with fuse timed cannonballs, designed for blowing landlubbers to smithereens. Time it just right and you'll double donk an enemy with the mini-crit impact knockback and explosion at the same time! Or blow yourself up taking too long priming the fuse. Damage is halved if the cannonballs miss however, so have your good remaining eye on your aim. Replaces the Grenade Launcher.
- Tide Turner: A broken ship's steering wheel used to steer your shield charge. Also replenishes most of the charge meter on a successful kill. Full speed ahead, laddies! But be prepared if you're sailing directly into battle. Taking damage reduces the charge. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- B.A.S.E. Jumper: While most people would use this parachute pack for a safe descent, the Demoman is content to use it to rain hell from above. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- Quickiebomb Launcher: Struggling with sticky traps? Feel like winbombing? These quick stickies take out enemy stickies and anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in the blast, but be quick though. These stickies vanish if not detonated. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- Frying Pan: CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG. That about sums up this weapon. Replaces the Bottle. Amusingly, the Demoman attempts to drink from the frying pan when taunting
- Freedom Staff: A staff with a golden eagle on top. Originally used by Kofi Annan to beat many a great dictator's head in, it has since been stolen and is for some reason now in the TF2 team's arsenal. Replaces the Bottle.
- Ham Shank: Don't run! It's just ham! No! It really is! Who knew that such a mass of meat could be a useful bludgeon? Replaces the Bottle.
- Saxxy: Only a select few received this coveted statuette of good old Saxton said to have been carved by King Midas/Sauron specially for the Saxxy Awards replay contest. Now MORE people are turning their enemies into gold and holding bragging rights! Replaces the Bottle.
- Memory Maker: Given only to those who made the finals of the Second Saxxy Awards, this camera makes the ideal dual-purpose video capture device: For bludgeoning people with it and recording a video of you bludgeoning people with it! Replaces the Bottle.
- OH CRAP
- I'm a black Scottish CYCLOPS! THEY GOT MORE *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* THAN THEY GOT THE LIKES OF ME!
- OH, THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO GLUE YOU BACK TOGETHER... IN HELL!
- What makes me a good Demoman? IF I WAS A BAD DEMOMAN, I WOULDN'T BE HERE DISCUSSING IT WITH YA, NOW WOULD I!?
- So.. Tar you fine dandies, so proud. SO COHKSURE... PRANCIN' ABOOT WITH YER HEADS FULL OF EYEBALLS! COME AND GET ME, I SAY! I'LL BE WAIDIN' ON YEH WITH A LOAD'O ME OLD BRIMSTONE!
- I'M A GRIMM BLOODY FABLE! WITH AN UNHAPPY BLOODY END!
- NEXT TIME YE'LL BLOODY ASK BEFORE STANDING ON MY POINT`
- CHEEEEEEEERSS MATE
- AH DONT THINK THEY SAW THAT ONE COMIN'
- OH THAT'S SORE
- THAT WIS MAH POINT YE WERE STANDIN' ON
- YA APPEAR TO HAVE TRODDEN ON A MINE!
- THAT HEAVY'S A BLOODY JACKASS!!!
- I'm drunk. YOU DON'T HAVE AN EXCUSE!
- YOU COME WIDE AT ME AGAIN BOY I'LL STICK THAT WRENCH RIGHT UP YER ARSE!
- IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE Zzzzzzzzzzzz....Huh? Wha?
- (While drunk) Just bought two tickets to the gun show, and I'm not givin' em to ya. I'm goin' with YOUR tickets!
- LITTLE TOO MUCH CABER TOSSIN' PIE DOWN YER OWN THROAT EH CHUBBY?
- GO HOME LASSIE! MEN ARE FIGHTIN' HERE!
- DOMINATED! And I've been shaggin' your wife! HAHA! (Said to Medic)
- DOMINATED YOU TEUTONIC NURSEMAI-*belch* ahh...hah
- THAT'S A RIGHT PRETTY BRA WASHER YOU BUILT YOU BIG UGLY GIRL!
- (After losing) *slurring* Thankfully, I already don't remember this...
- THAT DEMO HAS BOOOOOOOBSSSSSS! See?
- Stout Shako for 2 refined!
- I'm a black Scottish CYCLOPS! THEY GOT MORE FECKIN' SEA MONSTERS IN THE GREAT LOCKED NESS THAN THEY GOT THE LIKES OF ME!
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- The RED Demoman's name is Tavish Degroot as revealed here, and he lives with his blind mother in a mansion somewhere in New Mexico, not too far from cp_badlands. He was best friends with the BLU Soldier until recently.
- Enjoys bagpipe music, not unlike M. Bison.
- Possibly enjoys KFC, as well as bombs.
- Is good friends with Zack.
- Has had multiple charges of public nudity in the past, until he wore a sticky note with a smiley-face on his crotch.
- Lacks a functioning liver, depth perception, and a pulse. Everyone else has these, especially the Spy, who enjoys rubbing it in.
- Has advanced knowledge of chemicals and chemistry, though, which he must know in order to properly formulate explosives.
- His real name is actually "Demonman".
- Stares at things on this site in horror, joy, or for the hell of it.
- He also has the same voice actor as the Heavy Weapons Guy (Gary Schwartz).
- Is not to be confused with the Rob Zombie song "Devil Man."
- Drinks scrumpy that is 160 years old.
- Worked with the Pyro on the pyrotechnics for KISS in the '70s and early '80s.
- According to the Soldier, Scotland is not a real country, and that he is an Englishman in a dress.