Nostalgia Critic

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This article is about a Media Source, which is remixed to create a YouTube Poop.

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HI THERE

The Nostalgia Critic is a movie reviewer who reviews old media from the 80's/90's. He is kinda like James Rolfe, only more angry. In fact, in 2008, he challenged the Nerd to review one horrible nostalgic movie. In return, he'd have to review a shitty game. He chose Bebe's Kids for the SNES, while the AVGN chose Ricky 1, which was a parody of the Rocky movies. By accident, one of his friends accidentally shot him in the head, but he was resurrected by Optimus Prime, the Jesus Christ of all cartoon characters. The guy who plays the Nostalgia Critic is named Douglas Walker, but he prefers to be called ThatGuyWithTheGlasses. Under this alias, he has made videos called Bum Reviews and Ask ThatGuy, the former of which has him dress up as a hobo named Chester A. Bum and in the latter, he dresses up all fancy like.

Quotes

This is the Nostalgia Critic whenever he takes magic drugs.

• "Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to."
• "I have an idea! Let's go to Potland!"
• "A BAT CREDIT CAAAAAAAAAAAARD?!"
• "Ahem... RAPE MY CHILDHOOD, WILL YOU?!"
• "DOES NOT COMPUTE!!! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!"
• "♫GEEEEEEEEEEEENIUUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!♫"
• "*WUH-WUH-WUH WHOOOOAAAAA*"
• "Oh for crying out loud, how could a movie make me cry over something that died eons ago?....LIKE THIS!!! (weeps)"
• "'EEEEEY! WOULDJA LIKE TO PLAY SOME POKÉMON?"
• "Fighting is...wrong!"
• "CAWWIFORNYA."
• "Nintendo: It makes you gay!"
• "Now them Duke boys had better plug in their Game Genie or look up some cheat codes, cuz there ain't no way they're getting out of this with all their lives!"
• "Yes, but will it bring back Becky?! WILL IT BRING BACK BECKY?!"
• "Look! It's Robyn's father Indiana Jones!"
• "No Pikachu, no!"
• "Stop hitting yourself! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!!!"
• "Talk about self abuse..."

NO, PIKACHU, NO!

• "You think you're about to achieve enlightenment. The pearly gates are opening up, and all the secrets of the universe are about to be revealed... BUT NO!!! ALL YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT IS *DUCK TALES, WOO-HOO!!!*"
• "WHY DOES BUGS BUNNY KNOW WHAT A JOINT IS? IF BUGS BUNNY KNOWS WHAT A JOINT IS, THAT MEANS HE KNOWS WHAT DRUGS ARE. IF BUGS BUNNY KNOWS WHAT DRUGS ARE, THAT MEANS THE REST OF THE LOONEY TUNES KNOW WHAT DRUGS ARE. IF THE REST OF THE LOONEY TUNES KNOW WHAT DRUGS ARE, THEN THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN TOO GOD DAMN MUCH!"
• "Now you're playing with pedophilia."
• "DUCK-TITS, WOO-HOO!!!"
• "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!"
• "Scuse?"
• "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to burn down an orphanage on puppy farm! MWAHAHAHAH!"
• "Well EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, Princess."
• "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm must be off on my never-ending search for Potland."
• "Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it-CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!"
• "Hello? My pizza's gonna be late? Damn you!"
• "Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it-AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "A Big Lipped Alligator Moment!!!!!"
• "Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't Blue's Clues."
• "A cock in King Arthur's couch."
• "Ahem... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"
• ".......HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORSE!!!"

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Him after realizing his pizza's late. Also, him after seeing this very picture.

• "What!? Pumpkin!? Buh? Pumpkin!? What!? What!? What!? Pumpkin?! What?"
• "Wha-?!?!?!"
• "Good God, how much porno does this guy have?!"
• "I'm The Nostalgia Critic. I'm gonna go kill myself."
• "Aha, I'm going to waste all their minutes! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
• "Wow! They turned me into a cwappy bwuescween effect!"
• "I have an Addition! Input!! Input!!! INPUT!!!! INPUT!!!!!!!!!"
• "STOP USING ELLIPSIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "Mako?! You mean that guy I made fun of it the TMNT review that got horribly ridiculed for it?!?!?! Well I'm, uh, sure there'll be nothing wrong with his character in this movie. In fact, I'm sure it'll be absolutely delightful, with no flaws at all."
• "Gunshot? Gunshot?! GUNSHOT! I've been gunshot! R2D2, where are you?"
• "Chuck Norris is actually so intimidating that the milk pre-ordered itself in preperation for his arrival, and then went back under because they though it would be presumptuous. Such is the way of Norris."
• "Oh, hi Chuck AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "None of the build up about Chuck Norris is true. It's False! Grade-A False Bulldookey! It's stupid, it's nonsensicle, and none of it makes sense. May God strike me down if I'm wrong!"

Oddly enough, he doesn't like some of the quotes found on this article.

• "A-CHUCK A-NORRRRRRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!!!!"
• "Really? Because it looks like Afterburner. You know that game about jets and not space aliens?"
• "It's Afterburner."
• "It's Afterburrrner!"
• "IT'S GODDAMNED AFTERBURNER! IT'S A GAME MADE IN 1987 BY THE SEGA CORPORATION!! IT'S AFTERBURNER, AFTERBURNER, AFTERBURNER!!!"
• "AFTERBURNER!!!"
• "Weak."
• "MAJOR ASSAGE!"
• "MORE MAJOR ASSAGE!!!"
• "I'm awesome."
• "You'd be a fuckin' idiot!"
• "♫My cock's bigger than your cock, my cock's double the size of yours it.♫"
• "I was there when the strength of men fell!"
• "DESTROY IT!!!!!"
• "Mario! MARIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "My God. It's you, all along."
• "Why? Why did you do it?"
• "Well you're saying, you know, just a bum who wants to take over the world, you know, it's not like.. hey, that's just a paperboy, there's a ton of those, it's like, no, no, no, that's very rare."

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He was once M. Bison. Too bad it failed for him.

• "What's that?"
• "You're mad!"
• "Yes... very mad."
• "Na, na, it's definitely you."
• "Hollywood? Well, that's where all the great movies are made."
• "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "ROME?! It's The Birthplace Of Culture!!!"
• "WHAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "It's O.K."
• "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "Really, that's the most interesting line that you could come up with? I mean, you know-"
• "No, no, he'll like it, he'll like it a lot."
• "So? Nobody cared, it was Pluto."
• "Nobody gives a shit about Pluto, I mean, thank God you got rid of Pluto, I mean, now there's got to be no one around to make planet Disney dog jokes."
• "You know, ooh, you know what Mickey's dog would be COOLER if I heard that one! You must be a genius for making that up, oh my God, Pluto, you're right, 'cause they both sound exactly alike!!! Isn't that crazy?!?!?!?!?!?!"

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Nostalgia Critic's reaction to this article.

• "THANK YOU!!!"
• "Why don't you stop blowing a horn and fucking talk to me?"
• "EXPLAIN, MOVIE! EXPLAIN!!"
• "JUST... EX...PLAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "OF COURSE!!!"
• "The first part of the exam, RIDING THE SANDWORMS!"
• "Let me show you who's going to lose a lot of pot."
• "She says the senators are real!"

Used By

• Temeku
• Wikiwow

Trivia

Have you seen this criminal?

The Nostalgia Critic once created a new dance that everyone wants to do.

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He seriously hates this flag a lot.

• He considers the Angry Video Game Nerd to be The Irate Gamer of his genius. He took back that statement the second after he said it, though.
• His worst movie that he ever saw was The Garbage Pail Kids Movie.
• His favorite movie of all time is Brazil (No, not the country Brazil, the Terry Gilliam movie).
• His website also features other people. There are too many for us to keep track off as we speak, so go to his website to check his clients out and discover who you like, and who you don't like.
• He didn't want to review Pokemon: The First Movie because not only did he simply not want to, but he also couldn't follow the Pokemon series because he grew out of watching kids cartoons when Pokemon first came about.
• He was honored to be the asshole that Drew Struzan knew of about normal, non-radio interviews of.
• He tends to have wild mood swings.
• Was once attacked by a teddy bear because he said that that specific bear was really creppy.
• He once shaved his infamous beard off because he betted that John McCain would be the 44th President of the U.S.A., and he lost. (The strange thing about that is both ThatGuyWithTheGlasses and Chester A. Bum also shaved their beards off at the same time. (Though ThatGuyWithTheGlasses did it because he didn't post the winner of his contest that he had, while Chester A. Bum did it because he wanted to belong because he saw everyone else do it.))
• Once brought over complete strangers to his house because there was a sexy bitch fight in a shitty movie called Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.
• In that same movie that I said earlier, he made a joke that bashed The Angry Video Game Nerd even though the battle was already over.
• Temporarily swapped bodies with the Angry Video Game Nerd when a possessed Jeri Katou caused a giant rift in the space continium, though how the damage was undone has yet to be made publicly know
• He made a video parody of The Lion King on this website at www.rifftrax.com with his older brother and a friend of his.
  • That video made him win the "Best Rifftrax Video of 2009". As a result of him winning, he decided to do another Rifftrax video, only this one's for the second-worst Batman film around called Batman Forever.
• He Died a shitload of motherfucking times.
• Once, he got his head back to normal from two head changes and a head explosion ALL ON THE SAME VIDEO!!!!!!!!
• He discovered that his childhood was ruined when he found out that women have nipples when he saw Fantasia.
• His computer was infected by The Devil Himself who made audio from Ghostbusters appear mysteriously in his computer.
• He's now going to search for the amazing land of Potland, where you can legally smoke weed whenever you want to and you can be able to come up with very amazing ideas.
• Is becoming a mainstream bitch due to the fact that he was in a PBS commercial.
• Whenever someone reminds him of Doug, he must murder someone.
• When this year's Christmas came and went, he got a Nintendo Wii, two compatible controllers (one being a Nintendo Gamecube controller and the other being an extra Nintendo Wii remote with no extra nunchuk thingie), Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and he didn't get the icing of that great cake with Mario Kart Wii. As a consequence with this, he reviewed a shitty movie called Jingle All The Way and afterwards went up to the North Pole and Santa Claus.
• In his childhood, he was tortured because he reminded everyone of Doug Funnie from Doug. If he remembers it at all, he usually kills one person because of it.
• During the beginning of his review of FernGully: The Last Rainforest, he got interrupted by the Nostalgia Chick because she wanted to make fun of this movie. When she momentarily got into the Nostalgia Critic's room, they both fought to the death before they agreed to work together on this one and then continue their fight to the death.
• Also in the FernGully: The Last Rainforest review, the Nostalgia Critic learned two things from this movie. The first thing was that Australia had a rainforest that had white people in it. The second and most important one was when he saw A Big Lipped Alligator Moment (A Big Lipped Alligator Moment)... in the movie when he learned that there's a random scene that happens in a movie that's really over the top and no one speaks of that random scene ever again.
• He once reviewed a movie called The Good Son without his own lovely voice occupying him. Infact, the only time he ever spoke in this review was at the very end where he tried to sum up this movie with just one vocal chord.
• Also, in that same review, he felt that his childhood died when he saw the Home Alone kid say "Don't fuck with me". When he would last see his childhood, he would wave good-bye to it in a sad way.
• In another review that didn't have his voice around for the movie "Alone In The Dark," he not only was forced to use Microsoft Sam as his replacement voice, but he also needed the help of TheSpoonyOne and Linkara just to help him survive.
• Another strange thing to note in the same review is that according to TheSpoonyOne, the Nostalgia Critic likes to wear women's clothing during his spare time.
• Is known for hating the Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog, yet loving SatAM.
• He once killed Sonic The Hedgehog, Tails, Scratch (But not Grounder for some strange reason.), Dr. Robotnik, and all of Mobius with his gun. Holy Shit!!!
• He tends to forget that Scratch and Grounder are robots, to the point that he finds it completely illogical for Grounder to produce a pumpkin in one hand by blowing into the other and for Scratch to make his glove transform into a pretty girl.
• Whenever he mentions the word "elephant" and not "elephants", the Burger King himself appears as is he were motherfucking Jesus Christ himself.
• One time, he called out the powers of the "Big Lipped Alligator Moment," "Elephant," and "Chuck Norris (A-CHUCK A-NORRIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)" at the same time.
• Once appeared in some random dude's video about Kid Rock's "All Summer Long", where the video stated that Kid Rock raped "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. He only appeared in a few seconds and he cried "WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!?!!?" as a result.
• Believes that the first Batman movie (the one from 1989) was a little bit better than Batman: The Dark Knight.
• He doesn't understand what a furry is, nor does he want to know about it.
• He won a contest at www.rifftrax.com for his Lion King video.
• Both the AVGN & the Nostalgia Critic have trading cards where they have to fight one another to defeat themselves. You know, like Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and Magic: The Gathering.
• On April Fools Day of 2009, he, Chester A. Bum, and Ask ThatGuyWithTheGlasses changed places, in which the Nostalgia Critic went into ThatGuyWithTheGlasses' house and it became Ask the Nostalgia Critic instead, ThatGuyWithTheGlasses went into wherever the hell Chester A. Bum lives to do his own reviews as Bum Reviews, and Chester A. Bum went into the Nostalgia Critic's house to review movies in the form of the Nostalgia Critic, but in his own way.
• Also he got killed by Chuck Norris, who played the role of God. To be fair, he did say that may God strike him down if he was wrong about him saying the Chuck Norris "facts" are just false bullshit. However, it might have happened because Mako wanted to kill the fucker for what he did in making fun of him, saying that he was getting on his nerves.
• He fired ThatAussieGuy as a partner of his website due to complicated reasons to explain.
• He once got invited to High Voltage Software back when The Conduit was not released at the time. He had a fun time in there and he definetly liked it, though he said that he almost "destroyed" the game.
• Hates himself for mentioning bad aftermaths towards certain things in Superman films, such as seeing Cristopher Reeve before his tragic accident, Margot Kitter before she went mentally insane, and the World Trade Center.
• Also hates himself for killing Mary Poppins and Bert from Mary Poppins, as well as shooting Mickey Mouse after his review for the "Quest of Camelot".
• According to Chester A. Bum, he's just rude, obnoxious, and is a doucheface.
• He was the first person known to make a Michael Jackson joke ever since his death. He wasn't ashamed of it. Infact, he was proud of it, especially due to the fact that he made an awesome speech about Michael Jackson and how he's actually a genious in disguise.
• One time, he and his clothes disappeared into thin air at the end of his "Cool As Ice" review because Vanilla Ice and his movie was just too white for the Nostalgia Critic to handle.

Since he hates all the screenshots that are on top of him, he's trying to shoot them all down... while drinking out of someone's skull.

• He wishes he knew how to get to Sesame Street.
• He claims the only good part about A Kid in King Arthur's Court to be the English lesbian sisters. (But can you blame him?)
• Whenever he talks about the Transformers live-action movies, he starts acting like Chester A. Bum.
• Another time, he ended up singing a song during his "Junior" review about why it was so boring. Ironically, this ended up being a "Big Lipped Alligator Moment" for his own video.
• He's offended some people during his Tank Girl and Ernest Saves Christmas reviews with some things he's said (or done).
• It was revealed during one of his updates that he's near-sighted, which explains why he wears glasses.
• One episode of his was dedicated to interviewing five people from Animaniacs, which he proudly proclaimed to be his favorite animated TV show. That episode was actually a three-part episode!
• Was once killed by Jimmy Rollins of the Philadelphia Phillies, after trying to shoot him.
• Also, it was revealed on the April Fools day of 2009 that he knows how to take over the world, but he doesn't want you knowing about it, so yeah, bye-bye.

His Website

Is simply epic...

Your reaction to his website, which can destroy the Devil!