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Chester A. Bum

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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And Now, It's Time For Another Chewiki Article. Tonight's Review: Chester A. Bum.

OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE GREATEST CHEWIKI ARTICLE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!! THESE LINKS ARE SO FILLED WITH SPOILERS!!! There's this guy, whose name is Chester A. Bum, and he usually reviews current movies. (Which is quite the opposite of what the Nostalgia Critic usually does. (In fact, Chester once reviewed that one Big Bird movie that I can't seem to recall [WAIT, NOW I REMEMBER!! IT WAS SESAME STREET PRESENTS FOLLOW THAT BIRD! It was the GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!] when the Nostalgia Critic cried because he simply didn't wan't to bash it, no matter how hard he tried.)) He usually calls the movie that he reviews "THE GREATEST MOVIE HE'S EVER SEEN IN HIS LIFE!!!" (Which is really quite repetitive, when you think about it.) BUT WHO CARES ABOUT REPITION?! Not Chester A. Bum. He then describes how the movie follows out in his own perspective (with some of Chester A. Bum's own thoughts about some of the scenes he saw during that movie.). He sometimes also says random stuff that sort of make sense when thinking about these scenes, like how that Speed Racer movie made him feel like he was on drugs, except that he wasn't on drugs. (That reason is because that he was indeed the drugs themselves.) He also spoils the ending of that movie if you didn't see it yourself (Although as of Chester's Zombieland review, he's now required to say "SPOILERS!!!" in a clever way before he starts his reviews.). THAT'S NOT ALL! I ALSO DID A EPISODE FOR ASKTHATGUYWITHTHEGLASSES WHEN HE DIED DUE TO A SCREAMER (Which was because some nimrod asked him how to avoid screamers at all costs.). I ALSO FEEL LIKE I'VE INJECTED HEROIN INSIDE OF MY DICK! HOORAY!!! (Did I also forget to mention that he also screams HOORAY!!! at random times sometimes?) This is Chester A. Bum saying: CHANGE!!! YOU GOT CHANGE?!! AW, COME ON! HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA?! C'MON, CHANGE!

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CHANGE!?!?
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One time, he ripped off the Nostalgia Critic. However, he instead put in "trumpet playing" and a smiley face to signify that it's different. :)

Quotes

  • "I once thought my car was a cookie, except it wasn't a car or a cookie...IT WAS MAN!"
  • "It felt like I was on drugs, except I wasn't on drugs!!! I Was Drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "OH MY GOD, THIS IS THE WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!"
  • "I wish I had a vagina!"
  • "I'm Chester A. Bum, I remember it, though I don't remember why, and I am here to talk to you about the GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE..... And I Don't Say That Very Often!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "Now I won't exactly ruin the movie for you, SO I'LL JUST TELL YOU EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS!!!!!!"
  • "What's your name? Ateryu. Gesundheit!"
  • "I'm Chester A. Bum, I remember it, though I don't remember why."
  • "April Fools? WHO'S APRIL! CAN SHE HELP ME MOVE INTO A CAN OF SPINACH?!?!?!?!"
  • "Dude, did he just steal my act?"
  • "Myth #5: There's only one correct way to spell Hanukkah."
  • "Well, of course there is. It's the one with the letter 'Q'."
  • "Yes, I hijackted all the nuclear weapons of the world, and now, I have them at my disposal."
  • "Oh-oh-oh, I'm just a bum... a bum who wants to take over the world."
  • "What?"
  • "What do you mean."
  • "OH, SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS!!!"
  • "This is the remote control that will let me blow up any missile in the world."
  • "AM I? AM I?!?!?!" (When someone says that he mad."
  • "Perhaps it is you who are mad."
  • "You know what, you're just rude."
  • "I mean, you are obnoxious, I-I just can't believe how annoying you are you just keep talking, and talking, and talking, and I-"
  • "What do you think of Hollywood?"
  • "Well, how would you feel if it just... disappeared."
  • "And tell me, what do you think about Rome?"
  • "Not Anymore!!"
  • "And tell me, what do you think about France?"
  • "GONE!!!"
  • "So, it appears that all those people were... overdrawn at the life pack. (Laughs Evilly)"
  • "Well you know what, you're a doucheface."
  • "Linkara's gonna hate this!"
  • "No, no he's really going to hate this, I mean, we were supposed to present a suitable previous episode sketch, and you're just ruining the whole thing!!!"
  • "You know what, you know what, there went Pluto."
  • "You know what, I'm just going to blow up the world."
  • "Asshole."
  • "(To the theme of the Star Trek theme) Star Trek, it's right here to stay! Their all Assholes who always get laid! (unlike their fans)"
Chester A. Bum being parodied.

Trivia

  • He can shave his beard off by putting cheeze whiz (lol) on his face and make all his rats name Darryl (sp?) eat the hair that's covered on the cheese.
  • Was confirmed to have eaten his mother, which meant that he once had to resort to cannibalism in order for him to survive. (See his The Day The Earth Stood Still review as proof.)
  • He was once parodied by Benzaie.
  • It was revealed that he has a special perfume thing called "Bumessence".
  • He really hates that Twilight thing. (You know what I mean?)
  • He also thinks that Citizen Kane is the worst movie he ever saw in his life.
  • Chester A. Bum, the Nostalgia Critic, and Ask ThatGuyWithTheGlasses all changed places in which Chester A. Bum reviews movies in the Nostalgia Critic's way (with him doing stuff his own way), the Nostalgia Critic answers some stupid questions that's for ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, and ThatGuyWithTheGlasses reviews movies in the way of Chester A. Bum (albeit he does that in a mostly poor value.).
  • Might have a long lost brother or a cousin named Lester B. Bum, whom first appeared in Linkara's Watchmen review.
  • He currently lives in a can of tuna, and he doesn't want to do so. (Though he doesn't mind living in a can of spinach.)
  • Was confirmed in his X-Men Origins: Wolverine review that he used to play Megaman before he was forced to eat his own T.V. to survive.
  • Also, in that same review, he wished that his dad, his girlfriend, and his old people would die, if certain stuff hadn't already happened, such as his dad already being dead, his girlfriend was a horse (Which, for some strange reason, makes her immune to death, I guess.), and he doesn't know any old people.
Chester A. Bum, along with his new pals Dr. Insano, 90's Kid, & Ma-Ti of Captain Planet want to show you some love.
  • His middle name is, apparently, Alfred.
  • Was revealed in episode one of the AngryJoe show that he's a very great dancer. Was there dancing during the dance-off between Benzaie and AngryJoe.
  • He once hijacked all the nuclear weapons of the world and blew up Hollywood, Rome, France, Pluto, and even the entire (human) world by using a remote control!
  • He's just a bum. A bum who wants to take over the world!
  • Also, he thinks that the Nostalgia Critic is just rude and mad. Infact, he thinks that the Nostalgia Critic is a ''doucheface.''
  • He reviews stuff so that he gets enough time and money to hijack all the nuclear weapons of the world. Even though he did that, he says that he isn't all that mean.
  • The Nostalgia Critic was shocked to actually see him in person during his "Casper" review.
  • To make for his intrusion, both the Nostalgia Critic and Chester (along with a few others) went and played a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. Brawl just because. You could find this rare footage on Youtube.
  • One time, Chester, along with the 90's Kid, Dr. Insano, and Ma-Ti of Captain Planet got shot and killed during the Microsoft Sam speaking Nostalgia Critic, TheSpoonyOne, and Linkara collaborated review of Uwe Boll's version of "Alone In The Dark."
  • He once thought that "District-9" was a comedy movie instead of a drama.
  • It was revealed in the Nostalgia Critic's review of Arnold Schwarzenegger's End of Days video that he's also a Christian bum. That explains everything about why he doesn't swear at all and how he's a bum!
  • Family Guy once stole a joke of his from his Star Trek review. As a result, he tried to sue Fox and Family Guy in order to get a furnished box, but his lawyer didn't accept his offer because he thought that it was stupid of him to want a furnished box in a court victory instead of something like... one million dollars.
  • After he watched "The Expendables", his nuts ended up killing a wild boar and then eating it!!
  • He hates it when you burn the Twilight movie (because it's THE GREATEST THING HE'S EVER SEEN IN HIS LIFE!!!), but he doesn't mind you burning the book of Twilight because he thought that it sucked.
  • He also gets orgasmic whenever someone says change. "Change? CHANGE! YOU GOT CHANGE?! AW, COME ON, HELP A GUY OUT WILL YOU? CHANGE! I PROMISE THAT I'LL STOP SHAVING WITH MY PET RATS!!!"