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Mama Luigi
This article is filed under Characters."Mama Luigi is pure concentrated Anti-Uctions" Xuchilbara
"That's Mama Pure Concentrated Anti-Uctions to you, Superbork!" Mama Luigi
According to the Society of Poop, likes baby shaking, screaming, and falling for hours. He is a split personality of Mario's brother, Luigi. He was born from pure hatred, brewn by Law for kids in an effort to stop people for standing in no-parking zones. (S)he also hates sex, so she's actually fairly tolerable most of the time.
History
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One day, Mama Luigi had to babysit a spoiled brat together with Mario, the child escaped and got killed wen he fell into a lava river, the frustration caused Luigi to materialize his rage into the beast known as God Luigi.
Mama Luigi has many minions at his disposal, examples being Ganon, Bill O'Reilly, and the SilverFatMagician. Mama Luigi also implemented a stronghold on the internet, spawning abominations such as Yaoi, Sonic Fancharacters, Mudkipz, and Pop-up ads (Some refer to this as the "Internet Hate Machine"). The program seems to randomly choose the website it will rest in, although most of the time it resides in the #chan boards, Gaia Online, Runescape, Myspace and YouTube (Which explains the strange behavior of the people that reside in these areas.)
Some of the time, Luigi is able to subconsciously control Mama Luigi, and use this precious time to tell Yoshi a historically revised version of the time he first met him. He is able to do this by using his control of Anti-Uctions, and copyright infringement. For more information regarding the creation of Mama Luigi, see Big Poop Theory (or check out the enclosed instruction book).
Personality
Although being a split personality of Luigi, Mama Luigi is Luigi's final form. He likes to tell people about his title, correcting them, mothering Yoshkins, and saving the Princess. He seems to have an obsession with a strange Magic Balloon and bagels. Mama Luigi also enjoys telling twisted lies and falling onto Skull Rafts, which to him are Good Medicine. She is also a pedophile and necrophile. One time, after being bored of Mario's repeated asks of bring a secret weapon, she got pissed off and turned into Mama Frusciante and told Mario to "get out of my show, motherfucker. " He is also a renowned jumper, able to hit ceiling light switches with her pelvis. It is interesting to notice that Mama Luigi had a master who transformed her/him into Super Dimentio.
She is also the queen of all AIDS, and has stolen and destroyed many cures by many people, and is hindering the work of the Medic to avoid another cure.
Sometimes Mama Luigi will lie to people and tell them he's going to wring out his cap, when really he strips naked and goes streaking. This can cause bystanders to have heart troubles or even die.
Also, Mama Luigi has been known to make Yoshi masturbate at least once in his entire lifetime. She has shown empathy once when Yoshi died, and after that sad experience, she now has one friend: Link. She refused to shoot him, then they realized they both lost something. Link was the only thing that prevented her from turning into a second Emo Luigi.
Health Issues
Mama Luigi has a rare lung disorder which causes him to wheeze when he says his name in a corrective fashion and occasionally when he talks about Brooklyn. However, this does not appear to dramatically affect his overall health, as he is somewhat amused by said fashion.
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Mama Luigi is a known recovering pebble pea addict. He also used to smoke killer weeds.
Mama Luigi has some psychological issues, namely paranoia and a deadly fear of giant caterpillars. He will often scream "HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!" even when no caterpillars are around. To vent his anxiety, he painted a portrait called The Scream, which most people incorrectly think was painted by Edvard Munch. In fact, if you look closely at the background during a full moon on a Tuesday, you can see Yoshkins and some Wigglers.
Celebrity Status and Turmoil
It has been officiated that Mama Luigi was indeed a Spice Girl honing the name, Mama Luigi Spice. Due to turmoil within their old record label's marketing staff, Mama Luigi did not receive a Spice Girls Doll contract as did the other girls. Unfortunately, Mama Luigi has confirmed that she is not going to be touring with the Spice Girls when they go on the "back together" tour, due to criminal charges against her for man slaughter, since her bagel rings gave people cancer, and killed several of them.
Skills
Aside from having the power to correct his victims, he has also proven to be a good swimmer (And can additionally summon dolphins on a whim.) and have memorized the mapping of the Mushroom Kingdom. He also will ear rape anyone if he gets pissed off way too much (which will kill anyone within 50 Kilometres in the vicinity).
She also has some skills with electronics, which she used to start a company in China to make Bagel Rings. This ultimately failed, since the bagel rings gave people cancer from Anti-Uctions radiation, which caused a lawsuit.
She is actually good friends with Weegee (both are pure anti-uctions) and worked with him to create another form of Weegee that claims to have the combined powers of Weegee and Mama Luigi herself. They gave this evil creation the name of Mama Weegee.
The Birth Season
Mama Luigi's eggs were recently fertilized by Gay Luigi, Mama Luigi is currently the carrier of 30 fetuses and 180 STDs. Big Boss's next big mission is to destroy Mama Luigi's womb before he gives birth. Since Mama Luigi is the Queen of AIDS, this will be difficult.
Quotes
Mama Luigi Well, it all started when Mario, the princess and I came to Dinosaur World for vacation.
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Mama Luigi Koopa Football Players grabbed the Princess.
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Mama Luigi Mario was attacked by a Koopa wizard and a Magnum Bill! And I found myself face-to-face with a Fire Sumo!
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Mama Luigi I fell for HOURS!
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Mama Luigi Nothing below but boiling lava! Good thing I found a magic balloon!
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Mama Luigi These skulls were GOOD medicine for me.
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Mama Luigi Yeah well I didn't think it was so funny!
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Mama Luigi YEOW!!
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Mama Luigi Nothing to be scared of in the water. Gasp, except THAT!
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Mama Luigi WOAH!! DOLPHINS!
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Mama Luigi We've gotta find Mario and Princess Toadstool. Stay here while I wring out my cap.
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Mama Luigi Mario, wherever you are, HEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mama Luigi This kid makes Mario looks like he's on a diet!
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Mama Luigi That'll teach ya to mess with my new lil' buddy Yoshi!
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Mama Luigi YIKES! WHERES THE LIGHT-SWITCH!?
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Mama Luigi It's the liftoff that got me!
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Mama Luigi Uh, good night Yoshi! Ahhbahhbabahbaba.
Links
Mama Luigi's Restaurant - known for its Spaghetti and parodies of The Sopranos.
Mama Luigi's Spaghetti - Mama Luigi's response to Papa John's Pizza, founded after Mama Luigi's restaurant (above) didn't fare very well. Motto: Better 1-Ups, Better Spaghetti!
