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Big Poop Theory

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

In The Beginning....[edit]

There exsisted two forces; Uctions and Anti-Uctions. They were roommates living in a small apartment in Southern Illinois. Uctions and Anti-Uctions were friends for years, but one day Anti-Uctions left the cottage cheese out on the kitchen counter. Uctions was pissed.

After a long arguement over the now spoiled cottage cheese, Anti-Uctions went over the edge and killed his dear friend Uctions. In his mourning, he killed himself. A Juggalo (a.k.a., an Insane Clown Posse fan) burned their bodies, and their ashes were spread throughout the world.

During this time, three books documenting this information were made.


Though Uctions and Anti-Uctions became intermingled, the vast majority of Uctions landed in what would eventualy be the Mushroom Kingdom, and most of Anti-Uctions landed in the land of Hyrule, and the nearby islands of Koridai and Gamelon. Their energy soaked into the earth, and from them came forth the first signs of Poop-life.

While the denizens that sprang from Uction's energy lived peacefuly, a large chunk of Anti-Uctions still resided below the Mushroom Kingdom. This would be found later, in the form of a "Magic-Balloon", by none other than Luigi. Unaware, the power of Anti-Uctions soaked into his body, transforming him into the demon known as Mama Luigi.

A majority of the rest of Anti-Uctions formed into the characters of the Zelda CD-i games. But Uctions still resided there, and upon occasion would reveal itself to truely worthy Poopers.

Uctions formed into other characters in far-away lands such as Robotnik and Dr Rabbit. All that remained of Anti-Uctions was a small amount of energy, which became AIDS and, fused with the power of Mama Luigi, Super AIDS.

As of October 23, 2010, there's been a rumored fourth book that actually not only was discovered to cover information behind it, but it also holds the power to add or remove said information above. This said book is called "The Book of Ages". Who knows if all that was said above has been edited or not. Don't trust anything anymore!