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I.M. Meen (Character)

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Name: Ignatius Mortimer Meen
Appears In: I.M. Meen
Sex: Male
Age: 72
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Librarian/Evil Madman
Played By: Peter Berkrot

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Watch out for raging Meen, SMARTY.


I.M. Meen may very well be the worst librarian in the history of anything. The fact that his parents gave him a pun for a name likely didn't contribute. Meen absolutely despises kids, since he considers them "goody-goodies", and they always catch him whenever he starts getting intimate with his book "upstairs". Thus, whenever he sees children in his library, he throws a hissy fit despite the fact that there are customers present, and locks the kids in a labyrinth so he can have peace, and does absolutely nothing else to them we're being serious trust us, k? K. He tells the media he captures children because smart children are more difficult to scare, but that's just to hide his dirty little secret.


  • His book
  • Trapping those damned 'Goody Goodies' in his book
  • Being evil
  • Oshawott and Rayquaza
  • Torturing Gnorris
  • Sears Roebuck and Co.
  • Having sex with chairs.
  • Ophelia Chill


  • Goody Goodies
  • Smarties
  • You
  • Bookworms
  • Smartasses
  • Children
  • Candy
  • Gay Luigi (For calling him a cum dispencer.)
  • The Jonas Brothers (Especially since he considers one of them to still be a child.)
  • MrRoboto113
  • YouTube Poop
  • The Holy Bible
  • Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again (The sequel to Batman: The Dark Knight Returns.)
  • Twilight
  • Twilight Sparkle (for being a smarty)
  • The Presence (But he thinks it's better than Twilight.)
  • The King, that little CD-I prick.


  • "Oh look, what clever children! See them study, watch them learn. How I HATE those goody-goodies! How they make my stomach turn."
  • "I've got a little secret that'll really make them cry. It's a nasty kind of magic. From A Special kind of guy."
  • "This book is made to order-rugh, but it isn't to be read. When they open Up THIS BOOK, They're SUCKED INSIDE instead to the most unpleasant place they've ever seen. The magic labyrinth of ♫I.M. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN!!!!!♫"
  • "Very scary and confusing. Destination of MAI CHUSEENG!! The magic labyrinth of I.M. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN!!!!♫ (Evil Laughter)"
I.M. Meen rising from the depths of hell.
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  • "What's the matter, smartie? Lost your WAY?! My guardians will be happy to escort you, to a cozy cell! (Evil Laughs)"
  • "Why hello, little bookworm. I do hope you're enjoying your whirlwind tour of my labyrinth HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?"
  • "Today's lesson is about the dangers of being too smart for your own good. I hope you're paying attention, bookworm!!"
  • "Lost? Frightened?! Confuuused?!?! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!! (Evil Laughter)"
  • "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, there's a bookworm in the hall. BUT not for LOOO-OOOOOOOOONG!!! (Evil Laughs)"
  • "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, there's a virgin in the hall. BUT not for LOOO-OOOOOOOOONG!!! (Evil Laughs)"
  • "Here's a rhyme for you. Ahem! I knew a little bookworm who tried to get away, until the friendly guardians persuaded him to stay. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
  • "Still loose, little bookworm? Don't get used to it! My pets are closing in! (Evil Laughs)"
  • "Well, well, I'm surprised you don't give up, bookworm! You're beginning to look run down. Why not take a little nap?"
  • "GGRRRRRRRH, You are beginning to annoy me, you miserable little goody goody."
  • "You're tougher than you look, twerp! But I've still got some nasty tricks up my sleeve."
  • "OK, bookworm! Now you're really starting to annoy me! Get back to your cell before I turn you into a... chipmunk!"
  • "You won't get far, you studious little BRAT! My pets will see to that. (Evil Laughs)"
  • "You can't win, bookworm! I... am the most powerful magician in the world!!! And you're just a smartie."
  • ";_; Wretched child! You've ruined MY BEAUTIFUL LABYRINTH!!! Now you're going to PAY!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "Back into your cell, bookworm! Don't worry, I'm sure you'll escape again... in a hundred YEARS!!!!! (Evil & Mischevious Laughter)"
  • "Better luck next time, bookworm! Of course there probably won't BE a next time!!! Ha! Ha! Ha-Ha-Ha!"
  • "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You may have outsmarted me this time, Bookworm, but I'll be back! I.M. Meen never quits! You'll Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....!"
  • "Wretched child! You've ruined my BEAUTIFUL penis!!! Now you're GAY!!!!!!!!"
  • "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You may have outsmarted me this time, MexicanSunflower, but (deepens voice) I'll be back!!!"
  • "Here's a rhyme for you. I knew a gay who ruined my butt. You may have sex, but never in a cunt!"
  • "My name is..."
  • "...From a sexual kind of guy."
I.M. Meen is now being a chipshitmunk.
  • "When children read THIS BOOK, they'll see it as the most unpleasant book they've ever read!!!
  • "It's a nasty kind of book!"
  • "This book isn't to be read."
  • "It's the most unpleasent book ever seen!"
  • "This book is made to be red. But it isn't red!"
  • "Oh my God, this food is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "There's furry yuri in the hall."
  • "Toupeé!!"
  • "Touché!!"
  • "Back into your cell, Billie Jean!"
  • "My guardians will be happy to escort you... to Hell!!! (Laughs Evilly)"
  • "♫I.M. war, I.M. pain, I.M. all you've ever slain, I.M. tears in your eyes, I.M. bliss, I.M. lies.♫"
  • "♫I.M. pure, I.M. true, I.M. all over you, I.M. love, I.M. smile, I.M. the Earth defiled, I.M. the Cosmic Storm, I.M. the tiny worms, I.M. fear in the night, I.M. Bringer of Light.♫"
  • "Is a child learns very smart? Please read? Hate! It's in my stomach."
  • "I hide what really is not great. The magic can be."
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I.M. Meen laughs at your stupid ass for existing.
{{#ev:youtube|ekkk8sVajqE|320}}...How I HATE those goodie goodies! How they make my stomach churn...
  • "Please read this book. I have a strange maze chatscripts open this book does not meet with Maine."
  • "Great confusion and panic, my goal is to select the magic of the major complications. Many people are confused, my purpose Huwart disbanded in May, the United States, Michigan, is the magic of confusion."
  • "Oh, gaze yonder my worthless henchman! What surprisingly intelligent younglings they are. Gaze at them memorising all their vast work; observe as they get educated very quickly."
  • "Oh, how I seriously detest those Goddamned prodigistic prodigies! How those fuckers make my entire digestive system twist and turn as I'm about to throw up my biscuits and tea that I just had today."
  • "Fortunately for me; I have a hidden thought that would make those fucking runts shed their crocodile tears; for it is a devious, vile, unforgivable, sort of dark mystery made by a talented warlock; such as myself."
  • "I will now do some Michael Jackson-esque dance moves, so that I might be able to bring him back from the dead, because he does not deserve to die so soon!"
  • "Now, as I was saying, this ground piece of literature that I like to masturbate with because they make me so fucking randy is manufactured to be purchased at the dandy book market."
  • "However, this fine manuscript is never to be gazed, opened, or any other way to look inside; for as soon as those fucking rapscallions take a peek inside this manuscript; they will experience a heavy suctioning whose like a black hole itself."
  • "For the younglings will enter the most diabolical location they have ever laid their eyes on: the dark enchanting dungeon made by yours truly, Ignatious Mortimer Meen. All right, you fucking little runts; into the dungeon so I can molest you with my book. In you go now."
  • "Sorry, shmartie, but I'm afraid there's been a change of plans! Ophelia is coming with me!"
  • "Goodbye for now, Bookworm! I have the feeling we'll be meeting again very shoon!"
  • "Here's a rhyme for you. Ahem! Though I know I should be wary, still I venture someplace scary, ghostly hauntings I turn loose... Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! (Retarded Laughs)"
  • "How they make my penis turn!"
  • "Here's a rhyme for you... Ahem! HOW I HATE NOTHING!!"
  • "Sabrina, why don't you fuck the shit out of me?"
  • "I'll pay you money."

Further Information[edit]

  • Meen is madly in love with his book. Also, it is rumored that YTPsource is madly in love with Meen. What a conflict.
  • Meen's full name is Ignatius Mortimer Meen. Honestly, it's no wonder why people want to call him I.M. Meen, including I.M. Meen himself.
  • He once decided to change his wardrobe from a purple colored evil guy suit to a brown colored evil guy suit.
  • His favorite metal song to sing to is "Holy Diver" by Dio.
  • Once starred in one of Action 52's games. In the game he starred in, he had to kill nonhumans and avoid falling in to a pit of bald vampire Elton Johns. To say that that was the lowest point of his career would be a huge understatement.
  • Sometimes laughs like an obnoxious little dick.
  • Is a bibliophile, but not in the traditional sense.
  • In his frequent fits of blind rage, Meen has been known to subject Gnorris to a variety of gruesome sexual punishments.
  • However, he cries if Gay Luigi calls him a creepy cum dispenser.
  • He's a rare type of pedophile in which he has sex with children, but he hates them a lot. This is what we'd call a "pedophobiphile".
{{#ev:youtube|JNqOO0cMldY|320}}After he saved Ophelia Chill, he decided to shave her and to fuck the chair that he's on.
  • Is rumored to be a distant cousin of I. Fleecem
    • He does, though, have a confirmed clone, named Jay Leno.
    • He is also related to Professor Voltage.
  • Dr. Doom recently teamed up with I.M. Meen in order for them to destroy their greatest enemies (I.M. Meen's being those Goody Goodies, while Dr. Doom has the Fantastic Four the Marvel Super Hero Squad (which he likes to call "Squadies").).
  • When you open up his book you'll be sucking his cock instead!
  • He doesn't like the sequel to Batman: The Dark Knight Returns.
  • When he becomes really angry or annoyed, I.M. Meen switches to his angry mental state called "The Angry Swede", where he insults and swears at whoever annoys him (particularly Gnorris) in a Swedish accent. He caught this mental state from hanging around Fat Mario too long.
  • Is the proud author of several books, including 'Hooray for Meen', 'Minnesota Meen and the Temple of Gloom', 'Meen: Dino Hunter', 'Meenan the Barbarian', 'Meen Meets Count Dracula', 'Meen for President' and the greatest of them all, 'Meen's Fantastic Trip Right to the Middle of the Planet'.
  • Earl P. Sidebottom, a character in some shitty Canadian cartoon called Flying Rhino Junior High, attempted to steal Meen's act. Now he is considered The Irate Gamer to Meen's Angry Video Game Nerd.
  • He does not like the line "The ends justify the means" because he doesn't want the ends to justify his existance.
  • He is married to another evil librarian named Ophelia Chill, whom he rescued after her imprisonment by Agent Egghead.
  • His favorite movie is Rocky