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King Koopa

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Name: King Koopa
Appears In: The Super Mario Brothers Super Show, The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Mario World
Sex: Male
Age: 62 (At time of death)
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Evil King of the Koopas
Played By: Harvey Atkin, Dennis Hopper


See Bowser for more Information

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King Koopa looking like a total dolt.

King Koopa (B. 1945) is a form of Bowser that resembles a lizard more than his actual form. He has many children including two notable sons, Hip and Hop. Just like Bowser, he has been labeled as a serial rapist and should never be approached under any circumstance. From 1985 to 1996, King Koopa rented out the Coney Island Disco Palace which was then the Pizza Island Disney Planet, making it one of his fearsome castles. He later left the Coney Island Disco Palace as he could no longer pay the rent. A statue in his honour stands where the now-torn-down Disco Palace once stood.

Cultural Heritage: American, Bronx


Obsessions

King Koopa is known to have an obscure obsession with his key also known as This Key. Unfortunately it was eaten by Yoshi in the form of Yoshkins (who later gave this key to Conker) causing him to spiral into a deep depression. It turns out that the key was then used to free the Princess from King Koopa's raping chamber.

Forms

King Koopa is not amused.

Quotes

  • "That dino twerp is eating me out of house and home!"
  • "What's the one thing most likely to rot people's minds, and reduce their brains to mashed potatoes? ...I remember now! Television!"
  • "Pesky Plumbers!"
  • "When will those awful offspring of mine learn to pick up their...pipes?"
  • "Remember; Oogtar spelled backwards...is RATGOO! Ha heh heh!"
  • "All this bashing and crashing really works up an appetite!"
  • "Knock it off, knuckleheads! I'm not having a temper tantrum, I'm doing exercises!"
  • "He who koops and runs away, lives to KOOP another day."
  • "TWAT!"
  • "Fuck You!"
  • "My magic football players'll be so happy when they see all the wonderful presents I stole for them!"
  • "Wrong, prehistoric punk!"
  • "Stop! You're not supposed to go off till Christmas-- (bomb explodes) ...morning."
  • "I got bad idea!"
  • "At last I'm king! King of alllll the ocean! The waves obey my every whim!"
  • "So... Mario thinks he's king of Cumalot, EHH?"
  • "Permit me to introduce ya to... RACCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON KOOPA!"
  • "I know where you live! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
  • "YOU?! What are you doing in my bag of toys, cave creep?!"
  • "This is easier than the princess and just as fun.
  • "QUIET. I'M THE KING HERE."
  • "The President's budget should hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry this lady!"
An authentic picture of King Koopa preparing to rape The Princess.

Likes

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King Koopa in The '70s
  • His Koopa Kids.
  • The 1970s (The Coney Island Disco Palace was his failed attempt to bring them back).
  • Marijuana
  • Everybody (Except Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool, Toad, Yoshi, Oogtar, and Milli Vanilli.)
  • Capitalism
  • Youtube
  • New Super Mario Brothers Wii (For bringing back his actual kids for the first time for over 6 years.)
  • Adolf Hitler
  • Benito Mussolini
  • Porn (Especially Yoshi porn for some strange reason.)
  • Mashed Potatoes
  • Making sure you shut your crap.

Dislikes

Offspring

His kids got their own collab!]

Trivia

  • He is not good at naming restaurants.
  • His restaurant "Scoopa Koopa's Fast Food" was shut down by Dr. Mario the Health Inspector.
  • He invented the Rock TV, which gave us Vanilla Ice Age and professional wrestling.
  • He thinks that sex only happens in the real world.
  • He has HPV and/or HIV according to Dr. Mario.
  • He thinks that penis is an excellent trait for life.
  • Also, he could've taken over the Penis Kingdom years ago if it wasn't for the Super Mario Bros.
  • Dennis Hopper (R.I.P.), one of his voice actors, also appeared in Rebel Without a Cause.
  • Some may say that in the cartoon show he is a better character than Mario, who they turned into a bit of a jerk.
  • The best way to piss him off is by ruining his throne room.

Death

King Koopa's funeral shown on channel 63 on Rock TV. His daughter, Wendy O. Koopa is now C.E.O. of Rock TV Incorporated.

On July 23, 2007 King Koopa was rushed to Dome City General Hospital after having a stroke and a heart attack at the same time from eating too many mashed potatoes. He died three days later. As a result of his untimely death, all his children were to be given to Bowser-yes, that includes Morton Koopa Jr.-because he didn't trust anyone else but Bowser with them.