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United States of America
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
(Redirected from United States)
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God bless the U.S.A.
America. FUCK YEAH!! Coming again to save the motherfuckin' day, yeah!
The United States of America is a developed country in North America which is sandwiched between Canada and Mexico. It was officially founded on July 4, 1776 with the signing of the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
America is also what Bandit Keith is obsessed with.
American History In Compressed Form[edit]
- In the 1770s, an uprising against British tyranny and taxation without representation gave birth to the American Revolution, which was between the Continental Forces and the British Forces.
- 1776: The United States of America is officially declared independent with the ratification of the Declaration of Independence at the Pennsylvania State House in Philadelphia, which would, from that day, be known as Independence Hall.
- 1781: The British surrender, then recognize American sovereignty.
- 1787: A new constitution, the current U.S. Constitution, is written, and is ratified within a few years.
- 1798-1800: Quasi-War with France, an uneclared war mostly fought at sea.
- 1801: First Barbary War begins, between the United States and Tripoli.
- 1805: First Barbary War ends, with an American victory.
- 1802: Explorers Meriwether Lewis and William Clark make their famous expedition to the Pacific coast.
- 1803: French Louisiana is bought by the United States.
- 1812: The United States and Britain declare war upon each other, for a number of reasons.
- 1814: Washington, D.C. is burned by the British.
- 1815: End of the War of 1812 with Treaty of Ghent.
- 1836: Battle of the Alamo.
- 1845: Texas is annexed by the United States.
- 1846-48: The Mexican-American War starts between the United States and Mexico. California is obtained by the United States.
- 1849: The California Gold Rush starts.
- 1853: Gadsden Purchase. Southern Arizona and southern New Mexico are obtained by the United States.
- 1861: Abraham Lincoln sworn in as president, causing the Southern states to secede from the union over Abe's abolitionist stance, forming the Confederate States of America.
- 1863: Battle of Gettysburg fought in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Union victory.
- Abraham Lincoln also gives the Gettysburg Address at the site of the formerly mentioned battle.
- 1865: Confederate forces surrender. American slavery is abolished completely. The Southern states repatriate.
- Abraham Lincoln is assassinated at Ford's Theatre, becoming the first president to be assassinated.
- 1870s: Reconstruction of the Southern states.
- 1898: Spanish-American War is fought. The United States obtains Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines.
- 1899-1902: Philippine War
- 1915: RMS Lusitania is sunk by the Germans, fueling anti-German sentiment in the United States.
- 1916: United States grants Phillipine independence.
- 1917: United States declares war on German Empire, enters World War I. Start of (ongoing) alliance with United Kingdom and France.
- 1918: World War I ends. Triple Entente victory. German Empire, Ottoman Empire dissolved.
- 1920-1933: Prohibition begins with the 18th Amendment. Alcoholic beverages are banned by law, except for medicinal purposes.
- 1929: Stock Market crashes, causing mass losses of money and sending the world into a Great Depression.
- 1933: Prohibition repealed with 21st Amendment. Alcoholic beverages are once again legal.
- 1930s: The Great Depression starts, and various dust bowls also exist.
- 1941: Bombing of Pearl Harbor. United States declares war on Empire of Japan, Kingdom of Italy, and Greater German Empire, entering World War II.
- 1945: End of World War II. Allied victory. Greater German Empire dissolved. Empire of Japan stripped of colonial possessions.
- 1946: The Cold War with the Soviet Union starts.
- 1950-1953: Korean War.
- 1952: San Francisco Treaty between Allied powers and Japan reinstates Japanese sovereignty. Start of (ongoing) alliance with Japan.
- 1954: Brown v. Board of Education rules "separate, but equal" to be unconstitutional.
- 1955: Vietnam War starts.
- 1959: Alaska and Hawaii obtain statehood.
- 1963: President John F. Kennedy is assassinated in Dallas.
- Martin Luther King Jr. gives his "I have a dream" speech.
- 1965: Voting Rights Act, passed by President Lyndon B. Johnson, prohibits discrimination in voting. Involvement in the Vietnam War escalates.
- 1969: The United States is the first to put astronauts on the Moon.
- 1973: United States begins withdrawal from Vietnam War.
- 1974: Richard Nixon resigns, the first and so far only President to ever resign.
- 1979: American embassy in Iran taken over by Islamist students.
- 1980: USA upsets USSR in ice hockey in 1980 Winter Olympics, and wins gold.
- 1981: Ronald Reagan sworn in as president. 20 minutes later, the release of American hostages.
- Late 1980s: Diplomatic relations between the United States and Soviet Union improve.
- 1987: Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty signed by United States and Soviet Union, agreeing to eliminate intermediate-range nuclear weapons.
- 1989: End of the Cold War declared by the United States and the Soviet Union at the Malta Summit.
- 1991: Gulf War is fought and won.
- 1995-2000: Dot-com bubble.
- 2001: September 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon are the deadliest on modern soil. Another attack is thwarted, causing that plane to crash on a field in Pennsylvania.
- 2003: Start of the Iraq War.
People Who Live in the United States[edit]
Poopers Who Live in the United States[edit]
Trivia[edit]
- The United States has the largest population in the Western world, and the 3rd highest population overall, behind China and India.
- Youtube Poop was invented in the United States by SuperYoshi.
- Remarkably, it was invented a few miles north of where the United States was founded (Philadelphia).
- In addition, many poopers are American citizens.
- Many sources are made in the US, though many of these were animated elsewhere.
- The United States has the most expansive military in the world.
- They also produce the most cheese of any country, making 4,275,000 Metric Tonnes of cheese yearly, more than Germany (the 2nd largest producer)'s 1,927,000 Metric Tonnes of cheese and France's 1,884,000 Metric Tonnes of cheese COMBINED.
- Frieza believes that evil is with the United States.
- The Decepticons love attacking American cities, particularly Detroit, New York City, and Washington, D.C.. In fact, in one episode, Megatron actually destroyed the Washington Monument, leaving Optimus Prime, Grimlock and Slag to put it back together.
- The biggest capital city in the U.S.A. is Phoenix, Arizona. However, it's the 6th biggest city overall in this country.
- If anime has taught us anything, it's that all Americans have blonde hair and blue eyes, and all women are greatly endowed.
- Strong Bad's worst nightmare is a single picture of the United States wearing tight, white brand underdrawers. Obviously, he had one too many pudding pops.
- OH BOY! Is Donald Duck glad to be a citizen of the United States of America, instead of a citizen of Nazi Germany.
- There's a party in the U.S.A.
- American citizens have been known to clap after everything.
See Also[edit]
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