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United Kingdom
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
(Redirected from Britain)
Dieu Et Mon Droit. (God and my right)
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The United Kingdom is a country northwest of the Eurasian mainland, in the British Isles, that occupies the entire island of Great Britain, as well as the northern part of Ireland. It consists of the smaller countries of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. The United Kingdom once held the world's largest empire, which spanned multiple continents, many different contries, and millions (possibly billions) of people, and, in fact, the Sun never even set upon it. Unfortunately, the British Empire is no more, thanks to time, revolutions, and size. That being said, British military forces are still some of the largest in the world, and the British Royal Navy is one of the 3 largest blue-water Navies in the world (the United States Navy and the French Navy are the other 2 large Navies).
The United Kingdom is home to various poopers, and is actually one of the major pooping countries (alongside the United States and Canada).
History (1707-now)[edit]
- 1707: Union of the Crowns combines England and Scotland in to one kingdom.
- 1715: Jacobite factions, seeking a Tudor monarch, incite a revolt.
- 1746: Jacobites are finally defeated completely.
- 1756: Seven Years' War begins, against the French and Spanish.
- 1763: United Kingdom wins Seven Years' War. French North American possessions east of the Mississippi River ceded to the British Empire. Florida also ceded to the British Empire. French Louisiana ceded to Spain.
- 1760s: Industrial Revolution begins in the United Kingdom.
- 1770: Australia discovered, claimed by United Kingdom.
- 1776: American Revolution begins, between the United Kingdom and American Colonists (backed by France and Spain).
- 1783: American Revolution lost. United Kingdom recognises American independence.
- 1801: Ireland becomes part of the United Kingdom.
- 1803: Beginning of the Napoleonic Wars, a series of wars against Napoleon Bonaparte's France.
- 1815: End of the Napoleonic Wars. The United Kingdom and the Coalition nations victorious. Napoleon Bonaparte exiled permanently.
- 1829: Roman Catholic Relief Act removes many restrictions on Catholics in the UK.
- 1833: Slavery abolished in the British Empire.
- 1837: Queen Victoria becomes queen, starting the Victorian Era (which would see many advances in British technology).
- 1853: Start of Crimean War against Russia.
- 1856: End of Crimean War. Russian Empire defeated by an allicance of the British Empire, French Empire, Ottoman Empire, and the Kingdom of Sardinia.
- 1901: End of the Victorian era upon the death of Queen Victoria.
- 1902: Beginning of alliance with Japan.
- 1914: Beginning of the Great War/World War I. The British Empire, allied with France and Russia, declares war on the German Empire, Ottoman Empire, Austro-Hungarian Empire, and the Kingdom of Bulgaria.
- 1917: United States joins the war, allying with the Triple Entente. Beginning of (ongoing) alliance with the United States.
- 1918: End of the Great War/World War I. Triple Alliance defeated by Triple Entente. German Empire, Austro-Hungarian Empire, and Ottoman Empire dissolved. Russian Empire also collapses due to internal issues. British receive various new colonies from Germans and other Triple Alliance powers.
- 1921: Ireland given independence from United Kingdom. 6 northern counties in Ireland choose to remain a part of the United Kingdom.
- 1923: End of alliance with Japan.
- 1927: United Kingdom changes its full name to "the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland".
- 1929: Start of Great Depression.
- 1938: Munich Agreement. Attempted appeasement of the rising Greater German Empire.
- 1939: Beginning of World War II. United Kingdom declares war on Germany and Italy.
- 1941: Japan declares war on United Kingdom, United States.
- 1945: End of World War II. Axis powers defeated. Greater German Empire, Empire of Japan dissolved.
- 1947: India declares independence.
- 1948: Nationalisation of the railways, forming British Railways.
- 1968: Start of the Troubles, involving the Provisional Irish Republican Army.
- 1971: Decimalisation of the Pound.
- 1973: United Kingdom joins European Union.
- 1975: Partial nationalisation of British Leyland.
- 1982: Falklands War fought against Argentina. British victory.
- 1997: Death of Princess Diana in car accident.
- 1997: Return of Hong Kong to China.
- 1998: End of the Troubles.
- 2014: Scotland votes "No" to independence from the United Kingdom.
- 2016: EU referendum: United Kingdom votes to leave the European Union.
Some Brits[edit]
- Queen Elizabeth II
- Robin Hood
- Maid Marian
- King Richard I of England
- King John of England
- The Beatles
- The Electric Cheese
- Fiddlesticks
- The Demoman
- The Doctor
- The English
- The Scots
- The Welsh
- A few Irishmen
- These poopers.
Disliked by These Wankers[edit]
- The Irish
- Strong Bad
- Fred Phelps
- The French (prior to the early 1800s)
- The rest of the European Union
Other Information on Old Blighty[edit]
- The number of cheese varieties in the United Kingdom exceeds 700 varieties, nearly twice as many as those sodding French.
- A lot of music comes from the United Kingdom, and various bands (such as Iron Maiden and the Beatles) are actually from the United Kingdom.
- In addition, New Wave music in the '80s was big in the United Kingdom, and most New Wave bands came from the UK.
- In the Victorian era, the United Kingdom was one of the largest industrialized nations in the world.
- Also, in the Victorian era, most Steam engines and railway equipment were produced in the United Kingdom, and exported to countries such as British colonies, mainland Europe, the United States (in the early days of American rail), Canada, and even Japan. Nowadays, most new British railway equipment is made abroad.
- An' speaking of British industry, British cars used to be made by British companies, until British Leyland made many British automotive manufacturers easy sniping targets for foreign companies, such as Ford.
- The United Kingdom is home to one of very few poopers that have become characters: the Electric Cheese.
