Balls

What Are Balls?

Not to be mistaken for soccer balls.

Balls usually come in pairs of 2, but some may have 0 or up to 50 balls (Though it can be more than that on (very) rare occasions.). The scientific name for balls is bwalls. Credit goes to Yoshkins for the name. Balls hang from the penis and generate what is known as cum. Cum is shot out of the penis/vagina and can be rocketed to whomever the character chooses. Remember to aim, though. Currently, as of December 14 of 2007, Yoshi claims to be the #1 lover of balls. An interview date has yet to be set. Uctions may be used to refill your balls with fresh (white) cum, while Anti-Uctions can refill your balls with pink cum (Thus, giving you Fatal AIDS.). A rare color of cum is brown cum, which only happens if you shoot cocaine and/or heroin in your balls. Doc Louis likes to call them "belts" because ain't no one touchin' them! Yoshi likes balls on fire.("Fireballs yum!")

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Who Has Balls?

Typically any male who hasn't been castrated, but these are the people who stand out.

• You 2, 1, or 0. Changes throughout life.
• Tails, Mr. Krabs, The Cave People, The moderators of YouTube, & Lance Armstrong - 1 ball
• Gay Luigi - As many as his gay lover wants or needs.
• Fat Mario - 23 balls (Most are hidden within the fat exterior.)
• Duke Nukem - Balls of Steel
• The Princess - 2 balls (Spooky!!!)
• Wizardheimer - 39 balls (Magical)
• The Insane Clown Posse - 50 balls for each member of that group (That means that together, they have 100 balls!).
• Yoshi - 50 balls
• Phil Collins - 52 balls. Criticize him, and he'll kick your balls with his balls.
• Shenron - 7 balls.
• Piccolo - Unfortunately for him, they're inert.
• Joel Schumacher - For giving one of the greatest heroes of all time a BAT-CREDIT CARD!!!!!
• Devastator - Two very unfortunately-placed wrecking balls.
• Mario - Luigi wants him to give up because Princess Toadstool's whoopin' his balls.
• Dr. Evil - 3 balls.
• Tony Montana - All he has in this world are his balls and his word.
• Mini-Me - Well, he's a clone of Dr. Evil, so the same applies to him.
• Hidayet Türkoğlu - Loves saying "Ball!" for no real reason at all.
• The Angry Video Game Nerd - He says that Krusty the Clown is his balls. That shows how awesome he is.
• Albert Wesker - "I don't need anyone else, I have BIG BALLS gahhh!"
• Austin Powers - Has the biggest ever, second only to...
• AC/DC - THEY HAVE THE BIGGEST... BALLS OF THEM ALL!!!

Who Doesn't Have Any Balls?

This man still has balls, but they no longer work. And yet... WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???!!!

• Bill O'Reilly, who sold his balls for his position on FOX News.
• Oogtar, he has never had any but he hopes that one day he will.
• Emo Luigi, lost them during a gruesome suicide attempt. Need I say more?
• Chris Crocker, working on becoming a transexual.
• Ash, who ended up using them when he ran out of Pokeballs. Ouch.
• Super Macho Man - For the same reason as Drago.
• The Purple Pervert - After attempting to rape Wendy O.
• Vince Offer - They loved his nuts a bit too much, if you know what I mean.
• Soldier - He lost them from a battle (Though to be fair, he does replace them with grenades... yeah.).
• Seth - Chopped them off after losing a bet.
• Buggy the Clown - Lost them to Luffy.
• You, if you fuck with Big Bill Hell's Cars, or take too many steroids.
• Mama Luigi - Lost them when she transformed into Mama Luigi.
• The Hungry Hungry Hippos - Got them chopped off by Hasbro as part of their licensing agreement, they were last seen eating them with the help of four kids.
• That one guy in a cemetery that actually danced there and did a cross hand motion and the devil hand horns at the same time.
• The Irate Gamer failed miserably to get his balls transplanted with the Angry Video Game Nerd's balls.
• Nazis (Seriously, killing millions of people in 12 years makes you have nothing left for yourself at all.)