Notice: We are aware that many of the Chewiki’s images are still broken. We promise: we will try our best to fix it, but we don't guarantee that the fix will be trivial.

Duke Nukem

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL.

Duke only gained popularity after his shitty first 2 games bombed and Duke Nukem 3-D revolutionized gaming. Revolving around somewhat of the same gameplay as Doom or Wolfenstein 3-D, the game is pretty much about blowing up monsters, collecting shit to unlock doors, and paying strippers to... well you know what. The newest game in production, "Duke Nukem Forever" has been delayed for over a decade or so, so keep dreaming fanboys is going to be released in June 2011, which is coincidentally when the end of the world happens.

Trivia

  • From what we know, his testicles are made of a steel material.
  • Duke Nukem has a tendency to lose all his bubble gum when he gets ready to kick ass.
  • He likes to shit on people.
  • Was proclaimed by Screwattack to be the most coolest video game character of all time. Infact, he was so cool that they admitted that would've higher than being number one.
  • Screwattack also named Duke Nukem 3-D, which is proclaimed by many to be his best game by far, as the 7th best FPS video game ever. It defeated BioShock (Which I know that many motherfuckers will be very pissed off about that.), Doom 3, and Half-Life 2, yet lost out to Counter-Strike, Quake, Wolfenstein 3-D, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, Halo, and Goldeneye 007.

{{#ev:youtube|0BuYNmH4TGk|320}}

  • Duke Nukem is so badass that when he takes a shit, he does it on a dead corpse.
  • It is told that Duke Nukem killed Hitler and the Nazis with his bare hands.
  • He almost was killed while on his honeymoon with Joseph Stalin.
  • Duke Nukem shoots point blank through the groin so the bullets come out of his enemies' asses.
  • Was rejected by the United States Marine Corps for being TOO EXTREME.
  • Has a new video game coming out for the Nintendo DS and the PSP, but I'm sure that it won't be released ever, so all you Duke Nukem fantards better keep up with your dreaming.
  • He has the same voice actor as Big the Cat. To be honest, I didn't believe it either.
  • Is the only person to not be afraid of Duck Donald. Infact, he actually had the balls to say to him "SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!!"
  • Since he was MIA for more than a deacde, he had been declared "legally dead", but recently returned, so... HE IS ALIVE!
  • His first two games sucked ass , then we got to hear him talk
  • Has once flown a space ship powered by his awesomeness , then it got shot down. He later retrieved it, only for it to be shot down again.

Quotes

  • I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL.
  • IT'S TIME TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM, AND I'M ALL OUT OF GUM.
  • EAT SHIT AND DIE.
  • BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS.
  • I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK.
  • THIS IS KTIT. K-TIT. PLAYING THE BREAST, UH.....THE BEST TUNES IN TOWN.
  • I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, BITCH!
  • NOW I'M REALLY PISSED OFF.
  • I'M AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY ASS KICKER.
  • HAIL TO THE KING BABY.
  • I'M GONNA GET MEDIEVAL ON YOUR ASSES.
  • YOU'RE AN INSPIRATION FOR BIRTH CONTROL.
  • WHAT... DID YOU THINK I WAS GONE FOREVER?
  • DAMN, YOUR'E UGLY!
  • WHAT KIND OF SICK MOTHERFUCKER PICKS UP WET FECES?

{{#ev:youtube|IE3KdcTgrno|320}}

Ventrilo Harassment

Came out of retirement one day just to piss of Lord of The Rings Online fags. This ended up getting him out of retirement for the 2010 MAGfest thing-y for 4 days with him using some new dialogue.

Return To Action

Thank's to Gearbox,Duke Nukem has been officialy ressurected. DNF will be released on May 3 in North America and May 6 worldwide. The reason of Duke's return is simple: mutants got hold of all the hot chicks.