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Mario

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

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Name: Mario
Appears In: Super Mario World
Sex: Male
Age: 27
Occupation(s): Plumber
Played By: Walker Boone

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

Mario is a notorious character in many great games (expect hotel mario). He is usually seen with his brother, Luigi, who has been known to have multiple personalities, and Princess Peach, who seems to have hatred for one of Luigi's personalities, Mama Luigi. Mario like to claim things are good at times, and has claimed to be the master of UCTIONS, a known power supply to the universe.

Mario has had several conflicts with his brother, arguing where the princess is, over Luigi's craftsmenship, saying that "he didn't make it", and an argument over a record.

Mario has an obsession with saying NO very dramatically, talking about instruction books, the Coney Island Disco Palace (which was torn down in 1999), and humping vines, and Yoshi on certain occasions like Cave Christmas. He also seems to know the location of fires by locating smoke, and pinching currency in his spare time.

Mario is also a promoter of the Cave Christmas holiday by often dressing up as Santa Claus.

Mario had also met the cowboy known as Tex Avery, the two of them had a partnership in Youtube Poop.

Not to be confused with Fat Mario, Mario's fat stunt double in Hotel Mario, his second evolutionary form, Whale Mario, or the imposter fat old retired sportsdude, Real Mario.

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Whale Mario
Mario in the rare form called Homestar Mario.

Likes

  • Uctions
  • Lotsa Spaghetti
  • The Princess
  • Luigi
  • Yoshi
  • Pasta
  • His Catholic Faith
  • Cave Christmas
  • Organization and Teamwork
  • Football
  • Promoting positive traits (Such as Goodness, Truthfulness, Honesty, Giantness, and Ninjaness)
  • Telling Luigi that he's home
  • Mushrooms
  • Inspector Gadget
  • Dirk Drain-Head
  • Mighty Plumber
  • His favorite record
  • Toasters that toast toast
  • Koopameat
  • Jesus Christ
  • The Pasta Pit-Stop

Dislikes

Quotes

Mario Mario

Nice of the Princess to invite us over for a picnic, gay.

Luigi?

{{poopquote|Mario|Luigi, look! (points to a letter on the door) It's from Bowser! {{poopquote|Mario|Dear pesky plumbers, the Koopalings and I have taken over the Mushroom Kingdom! The Princess is now a permanent guest at one of my seven Koopa Hotels! I dare you to find her if you can! {{poopquote|Mario|If you need instructions on how to get through the hotels, check out the enclosed instruction book.

Mario Mario

Oh, you have got to be fucking with me!

Mario Mario

Heh Heh, that's-a going online.

Mario Mario

That's a gay game.

Mario Mario

Mario has to pass gas.

Mario Mario

You didn't tell me that you had a secret weapon Luigi.

Mario Mario

SUPER BONERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mario Mario

Now let's show Icky Vicky a new magic trick - how to disappear!

Mario Mario

Its a stone Luigi.. You didn't make it.

Mario Mario

Luigi, King Koopa's locked the Princess in his Coney Island Disco Palace; I've fought my way out, and I've been looking for you ever since. We've gotta go back and rescue her!.

Mario Mario

Ugh, now I know how a meatball feels.

Mario Mario

And there's this nice guy named Santa Claus, who brings presents to all the kids, who've been good.

Mario Mario

You know what dey say - all Koopas scoop koop!

Facts

  • I AINT GOT NO MARIOS TO SPEND!
  • Throughout Super Mario World (Mainly Rock TV) Mario keeps making annoying 'huh-huh' noises before sentences. This is from being constantly slobbered by Yoshi.
  • Mario loves reading letters and phone bills.
  • Mario is obsessed with organization and teamwork. See IT'S A STONE, LUIGI.
  • Wants to destroy Mama Luigi's army, which is impossible.
  • May have once transformed into Good Truthful Honest Totally Depraved Evil Insidious Giant Ninja Mario.
  • Has killed Brock Samson
  • Likes to yell "NO, STOP!!!!"
  • He apparantly appeared in The Simpsons Game for a little bit (he also stole Gay Luigi's "Lotsa Spaghetti" line!).
  • The only thing that he is scared of is Makoto Kino since she wants to date him and that makes him emo.
  • Has never been beaten up by Sonic (though Mario has beaten him 8327645895672365187235671823567812305807132 times).
  • Enjoys telling only good kids to be good.
  • Believes it would be nice if every day was Christmas.
  • Does not want to see Leo's baby pictures (although Leo thinks otherwise).
  • His own feet actually made it into Screwattack's little ol' Armory.
  • Mario pretends to be a selfless hero, but in reality he only saves the Princess so he can get laid.
  • Discovered a taste sensation called Koopameat, which Bowser tried to counter with Scoopa Koopa's.