King Harkinian

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King Harkinian, better known as simply The King, is the noble ruler of the land of Hyrule and one of the most famous characters in the YouTube Poop universe. He loves talking about his boi, which has been proven to be Link. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, Duke Onkled. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of Ganon, but when the king was rescued by Zelda, he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule for his mercy, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years.

Early Life

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The King's parents.

Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1945.

Areas of Expertise

• The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, dinner, or certain bodily fluids.
• The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off of this skill.
• The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hyrulian public. He is currently one of the worst Wario Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii.
• He rocks at Guitar Hero. Zelda dislikes this and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.
• He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but Gay Luigi keeps interrupting him. M. Bison thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and Glutko thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him.
• Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him one-star ratings on Youtube.
• It is rumored that he trained Xuchilbara in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.
• Vorhias managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.
• It is heavily suspected The King is a hard drinker. He usually drinks when talking about his "boy", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time.
• The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in Hyrule. The other person is Link.
• The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. It is thought that everyone else got the Lazer shooting abilities from him. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", where he turns inverted, gets red eyes, has his face replaced with dinner, and fires a massive beam.
• Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was Morshu's Dinner Palace, eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly Rick Rolled The King everytime he tried to eat.
• Before he became the King of Hyrule, he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called "Mein Junge." He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for.
• He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his ship. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater.
• During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he took it so well when he got his dick caught in the door.
• His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting Impa who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while someone uses the Book of Koridai. He is now. forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals.

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Seasons greetings from the king.

Drug Abuse

Sometime before 2007 he was a weed smoker. He and Sonic were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to either force of habit or a terrible voice actor hired by Philips. He appeared in a banned episode of Sonic Sez as a special guest to say the word weed.

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James tried to give the King AIDS once. He, of course, failed.

Likes

The King, Link, Gwonam, and Zelda when they finally have their acclaimed dinner.

• Dinner
• Link
• Arguing with Zelda
• Torturing Duke Onkled
• Dancing with Ganon
• Saying "My Boy"
• His pet platypus
• Telling people to scrub stuff.
• Laughing
• Taking constant trips to Gamelon.
• Evanescence

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• KFC
• His Ship
• The number 4
• Playing his Wii.
• Pizza
• Ham
• His Fundamental Mormon Faith(FLDS) ..yes ladies, he's polygamous!
• Summoning Bob the Builder to do his dirty work
• Duke Onkled's Diner
• Morshu's Dinner Palace
• Guitar Hero
• His car
• Ice cream
• Scatman
• Mad Men (The TV series)
• Cars (The Movie)
• Hades (Only because he is enemies with Zeus)
• Fishing
• Giving unreasonable demands

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The King attempting to rap about his boi.

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The King in real life

Dislikes

• Not having dinner
• Ganon
• Zelda, however this is questionable, as he sent Duke Onkled to prison for asking sex from Zelda, implying that he cares somewhat for her.
• Snacks
• Chips
• Froggo
• Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)
• The (fake) King from the Zelda cartoon
• Big Cheese (See Zeus)
• Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)
• His other pet Fluffy
• Trabants (he says that they are pieces of shit.)
• Willy Wonka (he is causing children to not eat their dinner).
• Squadala Burger
• Gwonam's Pizzeria
• Rick's Roll's (Rick Astley's short lived restaurant that replaced Morshu's Dinner Palace)
• Rock Band (Link plays it all the time)
• Rosebud Frozen Peas
• Blotto Bros. Wine
• I. Fleecem (The King has owed him money for oil, rope, dinner and a ship since 1947).
• Being Rick Rolled.
• The fact that Ludwig Von Koopa still lives in his basement.
• Slamming his penis in a door.

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Quotes

• MAH BOI!
• This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!
• Four!
• I wonder what's for dinner?
• YES!!
• AIDS!
• Then get a job.
• YOU!
• You're finally becoming a man, boy.
• After you scrub all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!
• HMMMM...how can we help?
• Zelda, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.
• Did somebody say "dinner"?
• What?
• If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.
• ENOUGH!
• You saved me!
• My ship sails in the morning.
• Zelda, I'm under attack by the evil forces of Ganon.
• Don't talk shit, what's for my fucking dinner?
• Holy shit!
• Don't eat me for dinner! I taste like shit
• I saved myself!!
• I'm going to have ICE CREAM for dinner!
• ENOUGH!!! I can't turn my back for 4 minutes without you sons of bitches dicking around!
• Enough! I rule this place! Do what I say and SHUT THE HELL UP!
• WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
• WHA?! What the hell?!
• Zelda, I'm always talking about dinner.
• HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going fishing.
• Link, I ate fish for dinner.
• Talk to me, boy!
• This is me!
• I don't know what to say!!
• HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, I'm going to walk.
• Talk to the hand cause you don't hear the face in a month.
• Don't talk about time to me, boy!
• I'm going to get dinner!
• Don't talk back boi. I've had a rough day.
• Do you even know what I'm going through!?!?