Gwonam

This article is filed under Characters.

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Well done, Link!

Gwonam is a character commonly used in Youtube Poop, generally referred to as the "Freaky Carpet Guy", or "Squadala Guy", simply "Squadala", or "Pimpsahoy".

His real name is "Gwonam Al-Saraha Murbad" or "Rajinder".

General Information

Early Life

Gwonam showing his Pizzeria, which was made out of legos behind King Harkinian's '41 Plymouth.

Gwonam was born in 1923 in Saudi Arabia. He had three brothers, Jafar, Goshaman, and Gotseman. His parents were actually from India. Often, the air was polluted by the many oil rigs. At age 22, Gwonam left the country to get away from the noxious gases. First, he moved to London. 4 years later, Gwonam left England, and moved to Sparta. He was still not happy. 3 years after moving to Sparta, Gwonam moved into China, this time he felt happy. He lived in China for 27 years. But then, the Communist government of China decided to fire Gwonam from his prophet job. Gwonam was depressed and didn't know what to do. He took a trip to the U.S. in 1969 to attend Woodstock. He stopped off to eat at Morshu's Dinner Palace and became instant friends with Morshu after putting his mastery of maps to use and explained that Woodstock would not be held on Morshu's restaurant. Gwonam was given a coupon for free carpet flying lessons as a reward. Gaining interest in magic, he decided to drop his hippie lifestyle and become a genie/wizard. He attended the University of Squadallah from 1970-1974, which is where the famous line "Squadallah, we're off!" comes frome, being the University's chant. Then, he met King Harkinian , the king of the land of Hyrule. The king took Gwonam to Hyrule and asked him to be his royal Genie Prophet Guy. Gwonam accepted, and became happy once again. He has been living in Hyrule ever since.

Gwonam when he was a hippy.

It is not confirmed on how he became homosexual, but it is speculated that these traits began in his teenage years. Scarce records show that he snuck kisses with other teenage boys in the neighborhood. He would even kiss his own brothers. This means that these boys were gay long before gay was well-known.

Modern Life

Gwonam is an old guy on a magic carpet that brings about a sacred prophecy. Gwonam claims that the prophecy states, "Only Link can defeat Ganon", but the prophecy clearly says, "Squiggle squiggle squiggle fish squiggle squiggle". His catch phrase is the famed, "Squadala!" which he says every time he sets off on flight or when he gets an erection. It has been rumored that Gwonam has a deep obsession with taking Link and Zelda to iHOP. He also seem to like to stand in a same posings and movements when Link meets him in his magic carpet while he (Gwonam) tells Link about Ganon's minions. he also likes to tell Link to "look" or "see" Something..

Cultural Heritage: Saudi Arabia/India

Controversy

Gwonam appears to have an obsession with cum, and seems to enjoy Link's company. It has been rumored that Gwonam is a pedophilic homosexual due to his particular liking towards Link.

Possessions

Gwonam, Link, King Harkinian, and Zelda when they finally have their acclaimed dinner.

Gwonam seems to be quite the item master and is a large help when it comes to aiding Link on his quests.

• The Map
• A Magic Carpet
• A strange turban type hat shower cap.
• Weird facial hair
• A strange ability to see into the future to find out what Ganon's minions are doing
• A lamp which allows him to "see the Sand Crumies"
• Cum
• Possibly some birds.
• Evil birds!
• YouTube
• Lots of random CDs, especially from his favorite band, "The Byrds".

Quotes

Gwonam Your Majesty, Ganon and his minions as seen in the Island of Koridai.

Gwonam It is written, only Link can defeat Ganon.

Gwonam There is no time. Your sword is enough

Gwonam SAQUALLADAH!! We're off!

Gwonam These are the faces of evil. You must conquer each.

Gwonam Here is The Map! Where do you wish to go?

Gwonam LOOK AND SEE, GORONU...

Gwonam AT LAST, you have the vision to find my house! Now, go with many blessings!

Gwonam Go with many Zelbinems!

Gwonam Well done, Link! Ganon is now imprisoned. CUM!

Gwonam Look, already Koridai is returning to peace and harmony. The Birds are singing. Isn't it beautiful?

Gwonam YOU, LINK, ARE THE HERO OF KORIDAI!!!

Gwonam You must die.

Gwonam CUM!

Gwonam Here I CUM!

Gwonam Your Majesty, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon!

Gwonam Your Majesty, you must die!

Gwonam Your Majesty, Link must die!

Gwonam Impa, you are a slut!

Gwonam Ganon is a prick.

Gwonam Well done, your majesty!

Gwonam Your Majesty, Link is gay and your face is beautiful!!

Gwonam Many Blessings!

Gwonam Your Majesty, Ganon is returning to harm you all!

Gwonam No Link, consider this... Ganon is evil!

Gwonam Evil warriors are the most dangerous of Koridai.

Gwonam At last, you see!

Gwonam You must defeat Ganon and I will say "YOU, LINK, ARE THE HERO OF KORIDAI!!!"

Gwonam You will die!

Gwonam You, Link, Are Retarded!

Gwonam Link, we're going to the beach.

Gwonam Your Majesty, Link is a fucking faggot who sucks my cock!

Gwonam NO, YOU!

Gwonam Morshu is a fatass cock knocker!

Gwonam You can suck my furry balls, you fat shemale!

Gwonam You want to see some D-cup tits? Look down!

Gwonam Very well, you just opened a can of whoopass!

Gwonam Morshu...

Gwonam I'm going to kick your ass!

Gwonam Squadala! You, M. Bison, can go fuck Glutko.

Gwonam Go, with no blessings!

Gwonam You have the vision!

Gwonam Oh no you didn't!!

Gwonam It isn't my fault!

Gwonam Shut up, asshole!!

Gwonam NO!

Gwonam STOP!!!

Gwonam Very well, Link!

Gwonam What did I miss?

Gwonam Fuck off, lieutanant!!

Gwonam No, you're carpet sucks dick!

Gwonam I live in Koridai.

Gwonam Zelda, the King is DEAD!!!

Gwonam Beautiful!!

Gwonam May the squadala be with you!

Gwonam Squadafuckinglah!

Gwonam What the fuck do you want from me now?!

Gwonam Fine, I will sing for you once again.

Gwonam That is enough. I'm too tired.

Gwonam Enough is Enough your majesty.

Gwonam You, Link are a lazy turd!

Gwonam Your majesty, Mario is here!

Gwonam Only fchan is furry enough, you must fap to Fchan!

Gwonam You cannot grasp the true form of my SQUADILLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwonam Your Majesty, CD-i is officially dead!!

Gwonam This is well done, Your Majesty! SkyGuy16 is the shiznit!

Gwonam Shall I have this dance?

Gwonam That was some good Barrel Rolling, Harkinian!

Gwonam Ganon is in my house.

Gwonam The birds are stoned. Isn't it beautiful?

Trivia

• His favorite band is The Byrds.
• He once worked for the Angry German Kid.
• Was originally casted for the role of "Genie" in Aladdin, but was replaced at the last minute for failing a drug test.
• He has six toes on his left foot, but no one knows about that (until now}.
• His claim that "only Link can defeat Ganon" has been disproved by the fact that Ganon has been defeated by Zelda and Game Luigi.
• In about a million and one years, Gwanom will be turned into a mechanical genie, and put on an island. There he will meet a giant baby and Flapjack.
• Gwonam tried to sell his flying magic carpet to Link in 1978, but Von Vulture claimed it was fake and 30 years later Link still has not bought it.
• Once said that The King totally burned Zelda and Link.
• He has a YouTube account called nijjhar1.
• Once owned a restaurant chain called Squadallah Burger hiring Link as an employee, but since it only sold burgers, it failed in the light of Duke Onkled's Diner that also sold pizza, potato chips, spaghetti and pizza pie.
• Is the current owner of Gwonam's Pizzeria which at one point was Morshu's Dinner Palace. Mayor Kravindish works there as the Maitre D' and Curly is the waiter. The King however dislikes the place because of the lack of hamburgers.
• He once sang the I.M. Meen song. He sang it beautifully, but he could only do the first part. The reason why he didn't do the rest of the song was because he got posessed by something.
• Link masturbates to his Facebook pictures. Scary.
• Squadala could possibly be referring to "Squad Allah", an Islam youth group.
• The birds are singing. Yes, it IS beautiful.
• He once thought that CD-i was officially dead as a YouTube Poop source. However, that was before the King decided to show him that "Big Beat Mario" video. That video made Gwonam change his mind about CD-i being dead.
• Owns several flying carpets. One is from the '70s (he's been trying to sell it to Link for over 30 years), one has a hemi, and one is an unreliable second hand carpet.
• He does own one car, a 1925 Nash.

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  Gwonam's house, isn't it beautiful?