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Batman

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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He's not Superman... he's Batman.
Batman, with his sidekick Robin.
Batman once needed Adam West to take his role while injured.
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He's the Goddamn Batman.

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Manbat acting like a stupid ass to Batman yet again.
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If Batman's hand ever touches you, you will most likely die.
The only thing Batman fears are bats bees themselves.

Batman is regarded as one of the world's most famous superheroes vigilantes. His arch-enemy is the Joker. His alter-ego is the rich millionaire Bruce Wayne. However, he has self-esteem issues, so he compensates for his incredibly small penis by reminding people that he's Batman. "With prep time", he could potentially defeat anybody.

Skills & Abilities

  • Peak Martial Artist
  • World's Best Detective
  • Cunning
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His Bat Nipples can do anything, except for curing cancer.
  • Rich
  • Growling his words so no one can understand him
  • Taking your balloons
  • Having a gay sidekick
  • Being Batman
  • Being NegroTed
  • Creating sticky icky situations with his Bat Nipples that can shoot acidic male milk. (Too bad he never did capitalize on that.)

Quotes

  • "I'm Batman."
  • "THE BASEMENT!"
  • "Corn!"
  • "Maize!"
  • "EARL!"
  • "Beloved Children!?"
  • "WHERE IS HE?!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Once I've put you through holy hell, it'll make sense. A lot of sense."
  • "So sleep tight, punk."
  • "Sleep tight my ward."
  • "What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm The Goddamn Batman."
  • "This Is WAR!!!"
  • "I'm the Goddamn Batman bitch!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Bees, My God."
  • "I have to go. I'm getting out of this comic while I still can. It's only going to get worse from here."
  • "Drop your lawl, Robin!"
  • "I have given a name to my pain!"
  • "I have given a pain to my name!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "It's Not A Laughing Matter, Robin!"
  • "It's A Laughing Matter, Robin!"
  • "It's Not A Laughing Ass, Robin!"
  • "It's Not A Laughing Punch, Robin!"
  • "Drop your punch line, Joker!"
  • "Drop your punch!"
  • "Drop your punch, Joker!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Fuck my cock, you fucker!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "I smell a cat, Robin!"
  • "I smell like cats, Robin!"
  • "I smell like ass, Robin!"
  • "Paws off the customers, Catwoman!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Let's not sit on our purge, Robin!"
  • "Let's not sit on out purse, Robin!"
  • "Let's not sit on our birds, Robin!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Anchovies Away, Penguin!"
  • "Let's not be.. wildered, Robin!"
  • "The pun's up, Riddler!"
  • "Listen fuckers, fuck off!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Listen folks, are you sexy?"
  • "Listen ma'am, are you sexy?"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Listen folks, only at Zellers are you protected by..."
  • "Listen ma'am, only at Zellers are you protected by..."
  • "Well Said, Robin! (In a British-type of voice.)"
  • "You're protected at Zellers because the lowest price is the law!"
  • "Yes!"
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Well shed (said), Robin!"
  • "Paws off the cocks-s-s-s-s-s-s!"
  • "Punk is nothing but death... and crime... and the Rage of a Beast."
  • "Pigs.. From A Gun!!"
  • "This is why Superman works alone."
  • "I'm Batman."
  • "Some days, you can't get rid of a bomb."
  • "Some days, you can't get rid of a-BOOOOOOOOOM!!!"
  • "Sunday, she just had sulphide."
  • "There's a drifting suffering so miles east of San Diego's like shit."
  • "Your chest pain may be drinkers Robin, but also human beings!"

Trivia

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Batman once cried manly tears when he spoke his famous one-liner.
  • He should not be confused with Man-Bat (Dr. Kirk Langstrom), who is one of Batman's biggest enemies.
  • Batman is one of the few people who have "facts" that are similar to Chuck Norris.
  • He was once in the Aliens Vs. Predator series.
  • He is a proud supporter of sodomy.
  • He also had more Robins on his side when years go by.
  • One time, Batman actually became a couch potato. Because of that, many villains went and destroyed Gotham City because of Batman's fatass.
  • He believes that punk-rock music is nothing but death, crime, and the Rage of a Beast.
  • Batman knows the reason why Superman works alone.
  • I wanna be Batman, cause everybody really ain't shit to me.
  • Young Chris Rock's friend is rumored to be him.
  • Once shot out a big fireball like on DragonBall Z, which made the Joker explode. He then used a magic Batarang to cut the ghost of Joker's head off!
  • He thinks that San Diego should be compared to shit.
  • Dr. Lipshitz once tried to call for Batman while he was in pain, but he failed to arrive.
    • However, he doesn't know why the devil made rock n' roll music in the first place.
  • He hates bees. Bees. My God.
  • Another thing that works are peas, especially the Black Eyed Peas.
  • He's Batman.

First Used In A Poop By

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