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The Joker

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
"THe Beatles" have been cancelled, everyone. they will be replaced by me standing on stage for an hour, making my dick shrink on command
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Damn stupid, sexy Joker!

The Joker (real name Jared Leto) is a villain from the Batman comic book series, best known for his appearences in the 1966 Batman movie based off of the TV show played by Cesar Romero, the Tim Burton 1989 Batman film played by Jack Nicholson, Batman: The Animated Series, voiced by Mark Hamill, the deceased Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, and the world's most horrifying film, Suicide Squad, in which The Joker was actually played by himself. He loves balloons and gets pissed when other people steal them. Hell, he even shot one of his own henchmen because of Batman doing it. The Joker is not gay due to him at one point telling Batman to never rub another man's rubharb.

In his spare time, The Joker serves as the lead singer of the pop punk band 30 Seconds to Mars.

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If you were expecting an article about this guy, too bad.


  • "Never rub another man's rubharb. Eheheheh..."
  • "Well, I think it's time to retire. Feel free to drop in!"
  • "You can call me... Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier."
  • "Heeeeeeyyyyy.... Shut the fuck up..... once and for all before I fuckin' kiiillll yoooouuu!!!"
  • Vicki Vale: "What do you want?" Joker: "My face on the one dollar bill."
  • "What are you laughin' at?"
  • "Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
  • "It's simple. Kill the Batman."
  • "Wanna see a magic trick?"
  • "Hi."
  • "Jingle smells, Batman bells
    Robin got laid
    The Batmobile lost an egg
    And the Joker got a Wii!!!"
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He hates it when you have to explain the joke to him.
  • "Why so serious?"
  • "Well... this is the beginning of the end for Batin and Robman."
  • "Well..."
  • "This is the end of the beginning!"
  • "This is the end of the end!!!"
  • "Aw, shit! Here we go again."
  • "So I shit myself."
  • "SO! They laugh at my boner, will they!? I'll show them! I'll show them how many BONERS The Joker can make!"
  • "How about a fuckin' magic trick?"
  • "I'm going to make this pencil disappear."
  • "TA-DA! It's gone!!"
  • "The surenos have plans, the Amazing Atheist has plans, hell even Fred has plans."
  • "You know they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little Youtube worlds."
  • "Become the Joker, exclusively on Playstation 3."
  • "Just shoot him?!"
  • "I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make!"
  • "They laugh at my boner, will they?!!"
  • "This new emphasis on boners has given me an idea for a new adventure in crime! Gotham City will rue the day it mentioned the word 'Boner'!"
    • "Good shoot!"
  • "If you have to explain a joke, there IS no joke!"


The animated version of the Joker.
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The Joker once mistook a gun for a fish.
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NOT The Joker! Rather, it's the rare form of Frollo's called Frollo Joker.
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Why shoot the Batman when I can use very complex, yet easy-to-escape traps to my disposal?
{{#ev:youtube|P7jkdsglfaU|320}}You know, that is pretty funny.
  • Joker has killed the following:
    • His own boss, Rupert Thorne.
    • One of his henchman.
    • Bob.
    • A black criminal.
    • Another black criminal.
    • A Batman Impersonator.
    • Rachel Dawes
    • A female judge.
    • A random African law-enforcer.
    • Michael Jackson
    • Robin (Shocking, isn't it!?)
    • Jason Todd (A.K.A., the second version of Robin.)
    • Tim Drake (A.K.A., the third version of Robin.)
    • Bali. (Was risen from the pit after being too retarded, off to get his revenge.)
    • The Nostalgia Critic (During their "Card" phases.)
    • The Joker himself (Wait, what?!)
  • Joker attempted to kill the following:
  • Joker was killed by the following people:
  • However, the pain of his name is also Batman.
  • Is not skilled in close combat in the 1989 film.
  • Is skilled in close combat in Batman: The Dark Knight.
  • Doesn't really want to kill Batman. He would be nothing if Batman died. See the The Dark Knight movie.
    • The Joker from the 1989 film, tries to kill Batman to be with Vicki Vale.
  • He just recently befriended Lex Luthor, becoming the first person to do so.
  • He's born as an agent of chaos.
  • Is a man of simple tastes, liking things like dynamite, gunpowder, and gasoline. Why? Because they are cheap.
  • Prefers knives over guns. The reason why is because with a gun, he doesn't get to savour the many emotions of his victims as they die.
  • Once decided to try and team up with Deathstroke to destroy Batman once and for all.
  • On the Playstation 3's version of Batman: Arkham Asylum, you could actually play as the Joker.
  • In "The Batman", he ended up being an African.
  • His appearance in The Dark Knight gave him a lot of fangirls. Shame considering he'd likely kill them all.
  • Both he and Deathstroke (Or in the Teen Titans' case, Slade.) have the most deadliest, funniest, and coolest fatalities in the Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe game. (Too bad it got censored in the U.S.A.... FFFFFFFFFF...)
    • And then in Mortal Kombat 9, Shang Tsung ends up stealing said fatality, but not onyl does the gunshot get shown onscreen in all regions, it now completely ruptures the poor victim's head! Basically, it's a hidden "fuck you" message to DC for their censorship in their crossover game.
  • He once got defeated by "Weird Al" Yankovic by Al's own accordian!
  • Almost succeeded in killing AVGN, but in a fit of rage, got several shitty Batman games shoved up his arse.
  • Joker was in Mortal Kombat VS DC universe to start with, wherein he could beat or get the shit beaten out of him by Scorpion. Then Shang Tsung steals his Fatality in MK9, and finally Joker is playable in Injustice: Gods Among Us (Basically Mortal Kombat 9 without Fatalities and more DC characters) and is the reason why an alternate universe Superman went Hitler on everyone. Joker thought he was safe. And then Scorpion ended up a DLC character in Injustice. And then Sub-Zero and Raiden in the second game. And then Joker became DLC for Mortal Kombat 11...where he can once more be beaten up by Scorpion...and now he can get very, very violently murdered by Scorpion too. He just can't win can he?