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Balls

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 22:44, 19 December 2009 by Crazy Luigi (talk | contribs) (→‎Who Doesn't Have Any Balls?: Eh, I guess I deserved that. But hey, I accept my punishment quite well. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed with a neutral feeling.)

What Are Balls?

Balls usually come in pairs of 2, but some may have 0 or up to 50 balls (Though it can be more than that on (very) rare occasions.). The scientific name for balls is bwalls. Credit goes to Yoshkins for the name. Balls hang from the penis and generate what is known as cum. Cum is shot out of the penis/vagina and can be rocketed to whomever the character chooses. Remember to aim, though. Currently, as of December 14 of 2007, Yoshi claims to be the #1 lover of balls. An interview date has yet to be set. Uctions may be used to refill your balls with fresh (white) cum, while Anti-Uctions can refill your balls with pink cum (Thus, giving you Fatal AIDS.). A rare color of cum is brown cum, which only happens if you shoot cocaine and/or heroin in your balls. Doc Louis likes to call them "belts" because ain't no one touchin' them!

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Who Has Balls?

Typically any male who hasn't been castrated, but these are the people who stand out.

Who Doesn't Have Any Balls?

  • Bill O'Reilly, who sold his balls for his position on FOX News.
    This man still has balls, but they no longer work. And yet... WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???!!!
  • Emo Luigi, during a gruesome suicide attempt. Need I say more?
  • Chris Crocker, working on becoming a transexual.
  • Ash, who ended up using them when he ran out of Pokeballs. Ouch.
  • Ivan Drago - As a result of too many steroids.
  • Super Macho Man - For the same reason as Drago.
  • The Purple Pervert - After attempting to rape Wendy O.
  • Vince Offer - They loved his nuts a bit too much, if you know what I mean.
  • Soldier - He lost them from a battle (Though to be fair, he does replace them with grenades... yeah.).
  • Seth - Chopped them off after losing a bet.
  • Buggy the Clown - Lost them to Luffy.
  • You, if you fuck with Big Bill Hell's Cars.
  • Mama Luigi - Lost them when she transformed into Mama Luigi.
  • That one guy in a cemetary that actually danced there and did a cross hand motion and the devil hand horns at the same time.
  • Nazis (Seriously, killing millions of people in 12 years makes you have nothing left for yourself at all.)