Wario

This article is filed under Characters.

Wario is the other major antagonist in Mario's life. His supposed backstory is that he was bullied by Mario in his childhood and seeked revenge in his adult years. However, evidence has recently been uncovered that Wario was in fact created as a result of an experiment by Dr. Light gone wrong, although Dr. Light is sure it's the guidance system. It is also believed he may have attended the same plumbing college that Mario and Luigi attended. Whatever the reason, he doesn't like Mario very much and aims to steal his fame and fortune. In spite of this, he has since gained his own reputation by going on his own adventures and even making it big by way of his microgame company, WarioWare. Robotnik, Mario, Marvin the Martian, and Sonic the Hedgehog are among those who have made some WarioWare microgames. His most recent WarioWare game for the Nintendo DS has caused much glee from the YouChew community because it told them that they could create any type of minigames that they want, such as removing clothes off of beautiful anime bitches, chopping random peoples heads off, and making women masturbate. Of course, those are just some examples for his game.

Wario's most recent schemes involved using heavy doses of hypnosis to make viewers obey his every whim. Initially created so that he and his brother Waluigi could make people obey them and destroy Mario and Luigi, his hypnosis became so popular that other evil beings (such as The Bagel, Cheatsy Koopa, 4, The Faces of Evil, The Lobe, The Blob, The Irate Gamer, sizzler07, Fred, Malleo, Fortran, and One Saturday Morning) paid for Wario to order people to destroy their respective enemies (The Worm, some grandma, 2, the Map, Freakazoid, a little purple pogo stick, The Angry Video Game Nerd, Armake21/NicotineAlien, urinatingtree/The Fatt Man, Bowsa, Lou Albano, and Kids' WB!, respectively).

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Wario staring at Samus Aran's ass.

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Wario's beloved car.

Trivia

• Loves his money. He, in fact, loves it so much that his desire in life is to have more and more money.
• Also loves bombs, and the destruction they can do.
• It is true that he has the most fucking powerful arms ever seen. He can pick up a dinosaur and do a spinning piledriver on it.
• Is liked by Blightcopy.
• Loud Kiddington dislikes him because he is a grouch.
• Some people like him because he is a funny grouch.
• Was rumored to be called McBacon on the Internet until he disappeared without a trace.
• Once possessed Spot the Chicken.
• Loves shaking his ass (And making you watch).
• He also likes picking his nose.
• Was once robbed by Captain Syrup.
• Tells the other drivers to kiss his ass in Mario Kart: Double Dash!!
• Mona is the only woman ever to be attracted to this motherfucker.
• Is on a quest to be the richest person in the history of the world. Too bad that he'll be never richer than Scrooge McDuck.
• Is an embodiment of the 7 Deadly Sins.
• He is not above hitting women. So far he has beaten up DinoMighty, Captain Syrup, Golden Diva, Terrormisu, Princess Peach, and Barbara Walters. He also threw Queen Merelda away.
• He has an addiction to shake Bandineros.
• He has an appetite for garlic.
• He currently owns a goldmine, a shipyard, a coliseum, and a stadium. Used to own two stadiums, but one of them was given to his brother Waluigi.
  • His shipyard also happens to be the world's worst shipyard, with the majority of the ships sunken and/or broken in to pieces.
• He is great at math (from counting his money all his life), but knows little outside of mathematics and economics.
• It's unknown how he is so muscular and still fat. Some have speculated that Wario has been able to take some steroids in his spare time, but its not confirmed.
• He once stared in a commercial advertising his new game, Wario World (not to be confused with the Warioland series.) In this commercial, he was apoximatly two feet tall. He stood under the podium of a polititcian and instructed him to proclaim that "greed is good" and that it will "get you everything even if you have to pile drive your enemies to do so". The politician repeated every word exactly. Wario then took the man's wallet, stole all the money from it and placed it back (Apparently the politician was influenced by Wario's mind control).
• Loves to tell stories about getting himself trapped in the bathroom.
• He once lost his green shoes. It was said that a troll stole them, but he wore pink shoes in one game because of that. He beat that stealer's ass afterwords.
• In addition to his hatred of Mario, he also hates Toad (for stopping his takeover of Toad's Woods), Birdo (for helping Toad), Luigi (for being Mario's brother), and even Shigeru Miyamoto himself (for creating Mario).
• He also attacks by farting. He can fart to fly around, too.
  • By... farting. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
    • Sadly, no. I am not kidding.
• Obey him, destroy Mario.

Quotes

Wario has to run in order to lose weight. So get to it, you fatass!!!

• "Obey me, Wario; I am your master! Mario is your enemy."
• "Obey Wario; destroy Mario!"
• "D'OH, I MISSED"
• "Ayayayahh!"
• "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
• "Oh yeah, Wario wins!"
• "Oh yeah! Wario time!" (after hitting a home run)
• "Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh, Wonderful!"
• "I'm the Purple Wind! Silent but deadly!"
• "Smell it!"
• "Rock 'N Roll!"
• "Yeah, Let's-a GO!"
• "Oh yeah!"
• "Heh, Heh, Heh!"
• "You're getting very greedy; You are me, Wario!"
• "You're very handsome; You have amazing powers; Plundering hidden pirates' treasure; Bag a bazillion coins; Buy me a Castle, Bigger Than Mario's!"

Wario after seeing the .gif above him.

• "Repeat after me; I'm the bad guy in Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3, where being bad is good, and greed is good! Ha!"
• "Come and get it on Game Boy, greedy!"
• "C'EST MOOOIII!!!"
• "WARIO LAND CRETIN!!!"
• "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH-HOH-HOH-HOH!!! The damage we can do!"
• "I LOVE IT!!!"
• "Greed is good."
• "It will get you everything."
• "Even if you have to pile drive your enemies to do so."
• "Hey! Fix my TV!"
• "Or trade me this for one of those!"
• "This could be my chance..."
• "...TO RICHES!"
• "OH...YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-RIGHT ON, YEAH!!!"
• "Mom, I told you not to call me..."
• "What are you, my caddie?"
• "Who do you think you are, Buster?"
• "Good luck! To ME! Ahh hah hah hah!"
• "If you win, I hate you."
• "Wa ha ha ha!"
• "Urp... Sorry."
• "Need a lesson, loser?!?"
• "Hit it, slowpoke!"
• "So ein mist! (What a bummer!)"
• "Shank it! Ahh hah hah hah!"
• "Wa hah hah hah! Wario hot stuff, baby!"
• "OH MY GOD!!"
• "Send me a whore!"

Gallery

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  Wario de winner!

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  Doh, I missed!

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  Oah ship! It's Wario's shipyard!

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  This is what Wario's like on the inside... and even the outside.

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  Wario's favourite thing in the world.

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  Wario's grade on his own article.