King Harkinian

This article is filed under Characters.

King Harkinian, better known as simply The King, is the noble ruler of the land of Hyrule. He loves talking about his boi, which has been proven to be Link. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, Duke Onkled. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of Ganon, but when the king was rescued by Zelda, he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule for his mercy. His Castle was destroyed thanks to Zeus But the King killed Zeus by throwing dinner into his mouth.

Cultural Heritage: Sweden

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The King of Hyrule, talking about his boy and the number 4.

Areas of Expertise

• The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, dinner, or certain bodily fluids (Cum).
• The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "The Jumper" was based off of this skill.
• The King also has a Wii, but has not released his friend code to the Hyrulian public. He is currently one of the worst Wario Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii.
• He rocks at Guitar Hero. Zelda dislikes this and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it.
• Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him one star ratings on Youtube.
• It is rumored that he trained superbork in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly.
• Vorhias managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life.
• It is heavily suspected The King is a hard drinker. He usually drinks when talking about his Boy, and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time.
• The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in Hyrule. The other person is Link.
• The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. It is thought that everyone else got the Lazer shooting abilities from him.
• He also owns a spaceship.

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Seasons Greetings from the king.

Drug Abuse

Sometime before his death he was a weed smoker. He and Sonic were on good terms and would normally always smoke weed together. Due to his drug addictions every time he tried to say "we" he mistakenly says "weed" due to force of habit. He appeared in a banned episode of Sonic Sez as a special guest to say the word weed.

Death

News of his death has not been released to the public yet, but it is a plausable fact. There are rumors going around that the king got so drunk, he succumbed to alcohol poisoning shortly after his merry laugh with Zelda. He then died, and was replaced by another, less alchohol-addicted king. The current king has yet to have been questioned on whether or not he is the original king, but it is very likely that he isn't. The original King may or may not be released from the pit, however, Gregg the Grim Reaper is getting pissed at the King's death happening so frequently. He died during a battle with Little Critter after he sacrificed himself to avenge his dad's death.

Presidential Campaign

On March 28, 2008, The King announced his run for president of YouTube in a video. In the video he states that he has great knowledge, can teleport between outside and inside, and other good things. (The Video was created by User:MILU724, in The King's request.)

The video can be seen here.

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Battle With Link

In the end, lol Brant

The video footage can be seen in the bottom-right.

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Possesions

• The Triforce of Courage
• Lotsa Dinner
• A lightsaber
• A Dinner Blaster, which fires cheeseburgers. The King uses it to cause carnage in the video to the bottom-right
• A bottomless wine goblet
• The wierd headband he wears instead of a crown
• A ship. Possibly a yacht.
• A Wii
• A collection of sponges for which he constantly gives to Duke Onkled to scrub the floors in Hyrule.
• The only photo of his parents.
• A 1920's Austin convertible.
• A Toyota Hibrid
• A pet Platypus

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Likes

• Dinner
• Link
• Arguing with Zelda
• Torturing Duke Onkled
• Being Kidnapped by Ganon
• Saying "My Boy"
• His pet Platypus
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  The King's pet platypus.
• Telling people to scrub stuff.
• Mudkips
• Laughing
• Saying The Number 4
• Taking constant trips to Gamelon
• KFC
• His ship
• Playing his Wii
• Using The Triforce Of Courage
• Cheeseburgers
• Reeses Pieces
• Dominos Pizza
• SEEEH-GAHHH
• Virtual Boy
• THE FAR-LEFT LOONS
• My Neighbor Totoro
• His Mormon Faith (yes ladies, he's polygamous!)

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ENOUGH

Dinner

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The King attempting to rap about his boi.

Dislikes

• Not Having Dinner
• Ganon
• Zelda
• Snacks
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  Carmen seen taunting the King with a bag of Snacks that may contain Chips.
• Chips
• Froggo
• Jimmy & Timmy
• Zeus (For stealing his MAH BOI line)
• Being questioned (Especially for his reasons of travel to Gamelon)
• His other pet fluffy

Quotes

• MAH BOI!
• Four!
• I wonder what's for dinner?
• AIDS!
• Then FUCK YOU Mr. Cable Box.
• Then get a job.
• YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• You're finally becoming a man, boy.
• After you scrub all the floors in hyrule, then we can talk about mercy! Take him away!
• HMMMM...how can Wii help?
• This peace is what all true warriors strive FOR!
• Zelda, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to aid him.
• Did somebody say "dinner"?
• Dinner Attack!
• What?
• DINNER BLASTER!!!
• When the hell's that webcam coming.
• Congratulations boy, you are the new father!
• Zelda!!! Some noob has one starred my video for no apparent reason! I'm going to hit him with this banhammer!
• Cool. I'll burn YouTube to the ground within a week.
• I couldn't find the Army of the Dead.
• If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.
• ENOUGH!
• You saved me!
• My ship sails in the morning.
• I'll be in my quarters. If you hear any fits of rage, thinkof it as the wind.
• So, you one starred my video did you?! Why did you did it?