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Roy's Hard Brick Hotel

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Roy's hotel in its 1992 incarnation.

Roy's Hard Brick Hotel was a themed hotel owned and operated by Roy Koopa, one of Bowser's 7 koopalings, located near Chicago, Illinois. In its original 1992 incarnation, Roy's Hard Brick hotel was just a normal average-quality hotel. In 1995, after having been condemned as unfit for occupation, Roy's Hard Brick hotel underwent a major renovation, adding new electrical systems, and '50s style decor to the hotel.

The hotel was demolished in 2008 by wrecking ball.


Roy's Hard Brick Hotel was first planned in 1990 by Roy Koopa, a bully who had wanted a place to train and make fun of random people. After spying on Ludwig von Koopa, Roy discovered that Ludwig was building his own hotel in California. Using this information, he decided to ask his father to build him his own hotel, which would give him a place to train and make fun of people (mainly the guests). This would actually give Bowser an idea himself involving hotels, so he granted Roy's request.

Construction of the hotel began in the autumn of 1991, on a site located near Chicago, Illinois, and about 1 mile away from another Koopa hotel that would be operated by one of his brothers, Morton Koopa Jr.

Around the time when electricians were installing the wiring, Roy became impatient enough to the point where he demanded them to work faster and with worse-quality fittings and wire. This would ultimately cause the electrical problems that characterised the hotel up until its remodeling in 1994.

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Fat Mario and Gay Luigi condemn Roy's Hard Brick Hotel in 1994.

In 1992, construction was finally completed, after only a year of construction, and while Ludwig's Thump Castle Hotel was still under construction. Upon its grand opening, guests staying there immediately complained to the front desk about electrical problems, which caused many of them to have flickering lights, and in some extreme circumstances, fried television sets caused by improper wiring. Business immediately tanked, and by late 1993, not a single guest was staying at the hotel. Faced with financial troubles, Roy had decided to temporarily close the hotel. In 1994, the hotel was condemned by Fat Mario and Gay Luigi due to electrical issues, and "too many toasters".

In 1995, after a lengthy legal battle, Roy was able to obtain a new occupancy permit for his hotel, under the condition that the electrical system be renovated. Using this as an opportunity, Roy decided to renovate the whole building, replacing the whole electrical system, plus the generic interior in favour of '50s-style furniture and interior design, and also adding a large '50s-style reddish-pink neon sign to the roof. After this complete renovation, the hotel was reopened in 1996. At first, guests were leery of staying there, but after seeing the improvements, business picked-up, and the hotel thrived.

Unfortunately, in 2007, an inspector from the city came and visited the hotel, in order to inspect the electrical systems. In his report, he found that the wiring was constantly overloaded to 110% of its intended capacity, the fuse boxes were disabled in order to allow such current, and that some wiring was bare. Due to these violations, the hotel was condemned as unfit for occupancy. Despite another legal battle between Roy and the city, the judge ruled in favour of the city, and declared that the building be demolished.

Demolition commenced in 2008, with a wrecking ball first falling through the roof, putting a hole through the roof and every floor. Eventually, all of the walls were removed, except for the front of the building, which was torn-down last with an exciting fireworks display. The site of the former Hard Brick hotel was later reused as a corn farm.


Being a hotel that was planned and constructed in a matter of only 1 year, Roy's Hard Brick Hotel is almost completely devoid of any special features outside of its rooms, with its only 2 guest facilities being the cocktail bar and the pool. However, the rooms themselves did have a few features, among which are listed:

1992 incarnation

  • Free HBO
  • Vibrating beds
  • Mini-Fridge
  • Microwave

1995 Incarnation

  • Free HBO
  • Furry, round beds
  • Pink Furry walls and carpet
  • Checker Board hard floors
  • A Retro Fridge
  • A Radio/Record player and some records
  • Sputnik Lights


  • Free Wifi
  • Free wired internet


  • The hotel is in close proximity to the Metra rail system's UP West line, which caused it to be especially popular in its later years with tourists.
  • After it was torn down, Roy Koopa was also banned by the state of Illinois from ever operating another hotel within the state.
  • In 2007, a summer tornado caused some moderate damage to the exterior of the hotel, destroying the neon sign and tearing up a few windows.

See Also