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Dr. Robotnik

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

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Name: Dr Ivo. Robotnik
Appears In: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog
Sex: Male
Occupation(s): Evil Scientist
Played By: Long John Baldry

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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Robotnik after having one too many chocolate brains.
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Not Robotnik.

Dr. Ivo Robotnik is a highly popular Youtube Poop character.

Is not to be confused with Dr. Eggman. His evil twin brother from the new-gen Sonic games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.

Career

Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became Super Robotnik, openly talked about his childhood, tore off his own nose, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands, became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown reasons, piloted a digging machine, became a racist, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married Bill O'Reilly, possessed King Harkinian's body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful Chaos Emeralds, got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of WarioWare Microgames, invented his dick, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), tried (and failed) to take over Toon Disney, and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of Robotnik's emporium. He also combined with Weegee to form DOKTOOA EHGGUMAHN.

Presidential Run

It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an elaborately designed campaign video. No other characters have announced their intentions to run probably except Rudy Larriva, but many are expected to follow suit.

Likes

Dislikes

{{#ev:youtube|K1yneJSJx3E|320}}

Skills

Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's KFC nearby.

Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. Both he and Luffy share a biological defect that resulted in their bodies being made of rubber. He has been known to have uncontrollable fits of laughter.

In the GOTY Award winning game Super Robotnik Land he has been seen using his penis to kill Sonic The Hedgehog (See Video Above), however whether this skill is as powerful in reality is yet to be proven.

Gossip

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Robotnik while watching gay porn.
  • It is rumored that Scratch has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. (See: ScraBotnik)
  • Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
  • It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with Zelda, himself, and Ms. Filkins resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
  • There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus.
  • It's rumored that Sarah is his daughter.
  • Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date Makoto Kino, however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
  • It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
  • In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrander" and "Groutch". Alas, Scrander has been confirmed to really exist recently.
  • Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
  • Since the fateful day when Osaka had hypnotized the world into hearing her poop idea, Yomi had become Hypnotized into thinking that she was Robotnik for the next two days, as she was seen renditioning the Diploma Dope. One month later, she was infuriated because her appearance on YouTube only had a three star rating. Sakaki watched in horror at the footage of Chiyo Chan being blown up at the end of the video. Tomo started running around the School grounds saying that the incident was Mario's fault since he was with Chiyo at the time; Now he is banned from the city limits of Tokyo, Japan. The Power Star that Mario was about to give chiyo eventually joined Osaka and her minions so that she could make his face seize all the magic balloons in the dungeon of Mr Girrafe's Coney Island Disco Palace so that all the Whats down in Hell will cry "Bobby got NOWHERE!!". Robotnik saw this and wanted to sued Yomi, but he couldn't; he was too buisy licking his bread
  • When Rudy Larriva and Mama Luigi announced Hunter Harrison's candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul Robotnik Express for him.
  • It is rumored that Robotnik has sued Kingdom Cum over 9000 times due to the never delivered grand prize of unlimited Uctions in the Beautiful Head competition held in 2005. A lesser known rumor is that Mama Luigi had broken in the supplies and stolen them for a rumored new form of AIDS even more powerful than the dreaded Orochi AIDS. It was disproven as someone had already consumed the Uctions and Mama Luigi have claimed that this new AIDS form was a hoax made by Anti-Uction fanboys.
  • Bugs Bunny believes Robotnik is Polish.
  • Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a Saturday Morning until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
  • Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa spaghetti.
  • He built Glados.
  • Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny asian yellow ranger.
  • He seems to have somewhat of an obsession with Sonic's two-tailed little friend, who he affectionately refers to as MILES.
  • Robotnik's nose is known to look like a eggplant.
  • robotnik wants you to touch his pingas

Memorable Quotes

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Robotnik's ultimate rival, Sonic.
Robotnik Robotnik

SILENCE!

Robotnik Robotnik

I hate that hedgehog!

Robotnik Robotnik

(While having an orgasm) OOOOH, THAT'S GOOOOD!

Robotnik Robotnik

YOU PISS BRAINS!!

Robotnik Robotnik

rrrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrrooo rrrrro rro. A Robotnik's most IMPORTANT WORK!

Robotnik Robotnik

MAKE ME HAPPY!

Robotnik Robotnik

You miserable mess of microchips!

Robotnik Robotnik

Ilikehan2fransomNEVAHftdilisserlNOTE

Robotnik Robotnik

This is like bending spaghetti!

Robotnik Robotnik

Hurry! We have two more towns to demolish by lunchtime!

Robotnik Robotnik

I'm engulfed in a... dust cloud!

Robotnik Robotnik

DOY...SHOU!

Robotnik Robotnik

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss??

Robotnik Robotnik

I'll smack yer ma!

Robotnik Robotnik

I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH

Robotnik Robotnik

NO!

Robotnik Robotnik

..are programmed and ready too fire on anything...thats blue......HEDGEHOG BLUE that is!

Robotnik Robotnik

In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Robotnik

Prepare to engage the brothermio system!

Robotnik Robotnik

And I order you to tell me of any carrots, peppers, and bugs of security, the second Christmas comes up!

Robotnik Robotnik

My full name is SUPER Robotnik!

Robotnik Robotnik

For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!

Robotnik Robotnik

And best of all, Froggo is being kept too busy to even notice!

Robotnik Robotnik

Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!

Robotnik Robotnik

PINGAS!

Robotnik Robotnik

'This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!'

Robotnik Robotnik

AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

I won't just dip her, I'll dunk her! SLAM dunk! Two-handed reverse.

Robotnik Robotnik

By standing on that X!(Points to the right)

Robotnik Robotnik

I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

I'm on the brink of incest! You fail!

Robotnik Robotnik

What kind of nincompoops are you!?!

Robotnik Robotnik

If you don't, I'll melt you down... MY way!

Robotnik Robotnik

I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!

Robotnik Robotnik

Get to the point or your name will be M-U-D!

Robotnik Robotnik

You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!

Robotnik Robotnik

'NINCOMBOTS!!!'

Robotnik Robotnik

See you next faaaaall!

Robotnik Robotnik

Get out of life!!

Robotnik Robotnik

MOOOREE Toilet paper...

Robotnik Robotnik

OHOO-WAHEY-AH-HO-WHAAHAHAOOOOOA

Robotnik Robotnik

I thought I was rid of you,you fish-fondiling fruitcake!

Robotnik Robotnik

Hey! Where did that mountain-top come from?!

Robotnik Robotnik

Sonic is trapped in there... and the rest of Mobius is out here! And it's mine! It's mine! All mine! Alllll miiiiiine!!! (pokes at himself with his thumb twice)

Robotnik Robotnik

'...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!'

Robotnik Robotnik

This is one time I'm going to do some rottenness, and that hedgehog won't stop me!

Robotnik Robotnik

Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Robotnik

How did I get in the middle of the ocean?!

Robotnik Robotnik

HOPEICE

Robotnik Robotnik

E-E-A CAKE

Robotnik Robotnik

It's booby-trapped!

Robotnik Robotnik

Cut the monitors!

Robotnik Robotnik

UH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH.

Robotnik Robotnik

NICE PEOPLE.

Robotnik Robotnik

Beans...

Robotnik Robotnik

SnooPING AS usual, i see?

Robotnik Robotnik

How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!

Robotnik Robotnik

Nice toaster. I must remind my badniks to steal some BREAD for it.

Robotnik Robotnik

You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Robotnik Robotnik

Tea? TEA?

Robotnik Robotnik

You took the PENIS right out of my mouth!

Robotnik Robotnik

Surrender to me.

Robotnik Robotnik

SENINGYOP.

Robotnik Robotnik

My...caboose...

Robotnik Robotnik

I WAS A VIRGIN!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

WHO CARES?

Robotnik Robotnik

TOMORROW I'LL...

Robotnik Robotnik

PRRR! PRRR!

Robotnik Robotnik

GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SNAAAAAAKES! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES!

Robotnik Robotnik

I NEDA TAKE A DUMP OPEN THE DOOR!!

Robotnik Robotnik

OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?

Robotnik Robotnik

Penis is always more enjoyable when it's based on the misery of people who love PENISH!

Robotnik Robotnik

...And so I've decided to dedicate my luxury resort to Mobius's first citizen. A bundle of good looks and sheer genius, all wrapped up in that loveable package we call me!

Robotnik Robotnik

It's time to unleash my extendo-tower-solar-focusing lens ray, and bake Sonic like a BUG!

Robotnik Robotnik

PLUCK EVERY HAIR FROM MY AIDSTASTIC HEAD

Robotnik Robotnik

Crap! I think I have AIDS! *sob*

Robotnik Robotnik

I need head before I can activate my PENIS!

Robotnik Robotnik

You took the PENIS right out of my mouth!

Robotnik Robotnik

TOUCH MY PENIS!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

At last, my very own time machine! Now I can proceed with my cleverest plan of all time - gathering the four most important items in the history of Mobius, the all-powerful Chaos Emeralds! With them, I will possess invisibility, invincibility, immortality, volcanicity, personality, lamp oil, rope, bombs, Koopa Football Players, toasters, Burbank, virus, Superman, Dumbledore, booms, tree, Underdog, Sparta, Mama Luigi, smoke, sex, and finally, the power of life itself! With the Chaos Emeralds, no one can stop me from yiffing Tyrannosaurus Alan!

Robotnik Robotnik

Noooo! That's my porn!

Robotnik Robotnik

Finally, I've got them all - my precious Chaos Emeralds. Now all I have to do is place them around my neck. Invulnerability! Invisibility! Immortality! And the Power of Life! Put them all together, it spells M-A-D-D-E-A-C-M-H-S-E-D-V-M-A-V-E-D-C-4, the Supreme High Robotnik, the most powerful man in the universe!

Robotnik Robotnik

My Robo-Transmogrifier will take care of you prehistoric fuzzballs!

Robotnik Robotnik

[We're going back in time] To get the Chaos Emerald of Life, you fools! With it, I can bring Sherlock Holmes back to life!

Robotnik Robotnik

Oooooh, I hate that hedgehog. Not only does Sonic mess up all my plans to take over Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, but now they're putting his ugly ***k on the money! I'll make it so that every Mobius bill will have my dazzilingly cruel ***k on it.

Robotnik Robotnik

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HE'S GAY!

Robotnik Robotnik

HEEEEE's GAY!

Robotnik Robotnik

The lord of thus now say will but not bless you, oh whack yam the mosquitoes - F.U.

Robotnik Robotnik

You Double N***er!

Robotnik Robotnik

When I first realized I was a joke, I invented my dick!

Robotnik Robotnik

STEROID!!!

Robotnik Robotnik

I HATE Da Bears!

Robotnik Robotnik

'I'm Dr. Robotnik, I say what I want! I say PINGAS, I say pushy, I say butt, I say crud and sludge, I say ni—BLEEP'