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Mario

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

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Name: Mario
Appears In: Super Mario World
Sex: Male
Age: 27
Occupation(s): Plumber
Played By: Walker Boone

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

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Mario is a notorious character in many great games (expect hotel mario). He is usually seen with his brother, Luigi, who has been known to have multiple personalities, and Princess Peach, who seems to have hatred for one of Luigi's personalities, Mama Luigi. Mario like to claim things are good at times, and has claimed to be the master of UCTIONS, a known power supply to the universe.

Mario has had several conflicts with his brother, arguing where the princess is, over Luigi's craftsmenship, saying that "he didn't make it", and an argument over a record.

Mario has an obsession with saying NO very dramatically, talking about instruction books, the Coney Island Disco Palace (which was torn down in 1999), and humping vines, and Yoshi on certain occasions like Cave Christmas. He also seems to know the location of fires by locating smoke, and pinching currency in his spare time.

Mario is also a promoter of the Cave Christmas holiday by often dressing up as Santa Claus.

Mario had also met the cowboy known as Tex Avery, the two of them had a partnership in Youtube Poop.

Not to be confused with Fat Mario, Mario's fat stunt double in Hotel Mario, his second evolutionary form, Whale Mario, or the imposter fat old retired sportsdude, Real Mario.

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Whale Mario

Likes

  • Uctions
  • Lotsa Spaghetti
  • The Princess
  • Luigi
  • Yoshi
  • Pasta
  • Cave Christmas
  • Organization and Teamwork
  • Football
  • Promoting positive traits (Such as Goodness, Truthfulness, Honesty, Giantness, and Ninjaness)
  • Telling Luigi that he's home
  • Mushrooms
  • Inspector Gadget
  • Dirk Drain-Head
  • Mighty Plumber
  • His Favorite record
  • Toasters that toast toast

Dislikes

Facts

  • I AINT GOT NO MARIOS TO SPEND!
  • Throughout Super Mario World (Mainly Rock TV) Mario keeps making annoying 'huh-huh' noises before sentences. This is from being constantly slobbered by Yoshi.
  • Mario loves reading letters and phone bills.
  • Mario is obsessed with organization and teamwork. See IT'S A STONE, LUIGI.
  • Wants to destroy Mama Luigi's army, which is impossible.
  • May have once transformed into Good Truthful Honest Totally Depraved Evil Insidious Giant Ninja Mario.
  • Has killed Brock Samson
  • Likes to yell "NO, STOP!!!!"
  • He apparantly appeared in The Simpsons Game for a little bit (he also stole Gay Luigi's "Lotsa Spagetti" line!).
  • The only thing that he is scared of is Makoto Kino since she wants to date him and that makes him emo.
  • Has been beaten up by Sonic several times (though mario has beaten him 8327645895672365187235671823567812305807132 times).
  • Enjoys telling only good kids to be good.
  • Believes it would be nice if every day was Christmas.
  • Does not want to see Leo's baby pictures (although Leo thinks otherwise).
  • Thinks the people who thinks he has AIDS just because of the CD-i game Hotel Mario are the most bullshitinist people who ever lived! (I mean, seriously, who the fuck considers the savior of video games a person of AIDS anyways?!)