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Difference between revisions of "Link"
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Link is a civilian of [[Hyrule]], who in times of crisis works as the [[No|Hero]]. He usually hangs out at the castle, hearing bouts about what makes true warriors by the [[King of Hyrule|King]] himself. Link thinks many things are boring, and according to the [[It is written|Scripture of Utter Bullshit]], is the only person who can defeat [[Ganon]]. (Many times this prophecy has been proven false. [[King Harkinian|The King]], [[Mario]], and [[Zelda]] along with many others have defeated Ganon.) | Link is a civilian of [[Hyrule]], who in times of crisis works as the [[No|Hero]]. He usually hangs out at the castle, hearing bouts about what makes true warriors by the [[King of Hyrule|King]] himself. Link thinks many things are boring, and according to the [[It is written|Scripture of Utter Bullshit]], is the only person who can defeat [[Ganon]]. (Many times this prophecy has been proven false. [[King Harkinian|The King]], [[Mario]], and [[Zelda]] along with many others have defeated Ganon.) | ||
| − | Link is the current standing Hero of [[Hyrule]]. He was preceded by himself and will be succeeded by himself. | + | Link is the current standing Hero of [[Hyrule]]. He was preceded by himself and will be succeeded by himself. In some animated shorts that parody the Zelda Cdi shorts by Pennaz91, he is a retard. One short also said he was afraid of spoons because one poked him in the eye when he was little, possibly causing him to become retarded. |
==Skills== | ==Skills== | ||
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==Sexual Orientation== | ==Sexual Orientation== | ||
It has been assumed Link is a homosexual, seeing has he has tried to sneak kisses with [[Gwonam]] at multiple times. However, this has been disproven as he has had [[sex]] with [[Zelda]], [[Impa]], and Lady Alma many times. Another rumor is that he is bisexual, or even asexual (Like an amoeba). | It has been assumed Link is a homosexual, seeing has he has tried to sneak kisses with [[Gwonam]] at multiple times. However, this has been disproven as he has had [[sex]] with [[Zelda]], [[Impa]], and Lady Alma many times. Another rumor is that he is bisexual, or even asexual (Like an amoeba). | ||
| + | ==Attempted Suicides== | ||
| + | On July 1, 2009, Link saw [[Zelda]] overdosed on Ambien because of [[The King]] dying, and his first suicide attempt of jumping off a bridge failed, and he entered Dinosaur World, and landed on Yoshi instead, causing the latter's death. Then, when [[Mama Luigi]] was about to punish him for killing [[Yoshi]], Link WANTED to be shot, Mama Luigi refused and realized that he had lost [[Zelda]], who in fact, rose from The Pit the next day along with Yoshi. | ||
[[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|Link, [[King Harkinian]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]] | [[Image:DefaultCAXZUR43.jpg|thumb|right|Link, [[King Harkinian]], [[Gwonam]], and [[Zelda]] when they finally have their acclaimed [[dinner]].]] | ||
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*[[Ronald McDonald]] (Hell, who doesn't?) | *[[Ronald McDonald]] (Hell, who doesn't?) | ||
*The [[Nintendo|Chintendo]] [[Wii|Vii]] | *The [[Nintendo|Chintendo]] [[Wii|Vii]] | ||
| − | + | *Zelda's suicide. | |
==Memorable Quotes== | ==Memorable Quotes== | ||
{{poopquote|Link|...}} | {{poopquote|Link|...}} | ||
| + | {{poopquote|Link| Zelda, I just want to say, it sure is boring without you.}} | ||
| + | {{poopquote|Link|Huh!?!? No!!!! I can't go on without Zelda! I'm gonna jump!}} | ||
{{poopquote|Link|I won!}} | {{poopquote|Link|I won!}} | ||
{{poopquote|Link|Gee! It sure is boring around here!}} | {{poopquote|Link|Gee! It sure is boring around here!}} | ||
Revision as of 16:50, 22 April 2010
This article is filed under Characters.Link is a civilian of Hyrule, who in times of crisis works as the Hero. He usually hangs out at the castle, hearing bouts about what makes true warriors by the King himself. Link thinks many things are boring, and according to the Scripture of Utter Bullshit, is the only person who can defeat Ganon. (Many times this prophecy has been proven false. The King, Mario, and Zelda along with many others have defeated Ganon.)
Link is the current standing Hero of Hyrule. He was preceded by himself and will be succeeded by himself. In some animated shorts that parody the Zelda Cdi shorts by Pennaz91, he is a retard. One short also said he was afraid of spoons because one poked him in the eye when he was little, possibly causing him to become retarded.
Skills
Link is skilled in the art of combat, and is a master swordsman and marksman. As mentioned below he has above average cooking skills and he is great at using/wielding magical weaponry. He has the ability to carry a limitless amount of stuff, as well as being able to use ordinary items such as Aunt Jemima syrup in combat. He is an adept of the legendary Duckwalk maneuver. Cool, huh?
On the other hand, he sucks at using crossbows and has poor social skills.
Diet
Link also likes to eat. He has been known to have some cooking skill, but he almost burned down all of Hyrule after foolishly putting spaghetti in a toaster. He is also addicted to Volvic mineral water, and cakes (normally from the baker in Sakado, although the claimed "cakes" are actually loaves of bread. That two-timing S.O.B.). He has also been known to sneak sips of wine from the king's goblet. If he gets hungry enough, he will eat an Octorok.
Sexual Orientation
It has been assumed Link is a homosexual, seeing has he has tried to sneak kisses with Gwonam at multiple times. However, this has been disproven as he has had sex with Zelda, Impa, and Lady Alma many times. Another rumor is that he is bisexual, or even asexual (Like an amoeba).
Attempted Suicides
On July 1, 2009, Link saw Zelda overdosed on Ambien because of The King dying, and his first suicide attempt of jumping off a bridge failed, and he entered Dinosaur World, and landed on Yoshi instead, causing the latter's death. Then, when Mama Luigi was about to punish him for killing Yoshi, Link WANTED to be shot, Mama Luigi refused and realized that he had lost Zelda, who in fact, rose from The Pit the next day along with Yoshi.
Possessions
- His sword
- Lamp oil
- Rope
- Bombs
- A lightsaber
- Lotsa guns
- Young And Anal 15 video tape
- The king's chalice
- Boomerang
- Bow and arrow
- Various masks
- Iron Boots
Likes
- Zelda
- Impa
- Sonic's games
- Sega Genesis
- Xbox 360
- Nintendo Wii
- The Philips CD-i
- Atari 2600
- Sega Dreamcast
- PS3 (Doesn't have one though.)
- Gwonam
- Bombs
- Guns
- Tits
- Rubies
- Consuming rock-spitting terrestrial cephalopods.
- KISS.
Dislikes
- Doraemon
- The Delilah Show
- Chad Warden
- Ronald McDonald (Hell, who doesn't?)
- The Chintendo Vii
- Zelda's suicide.
Memorable Quotes
Link ...
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Link Zelda, I just want to say, it sure is boring without you.
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Link Huh!?!? No!!!! I can't go on without Zelda! I'm gonna jump!
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Link I won!
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Link Gee! It sure is boring around here!
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Link What are all those heads?
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Link I guess I better get going!
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Link I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorok!
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Link Great! I'll grab my stuff!
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Link Hey! Excuuuuuuse me, Princess!
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Link I can't wait to bomb some dodongos!
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Link I just wonder what Ganon's up to.
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Link Golly!
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Link It's a Gohma!
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Link (Hey,) EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME, Princess!
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Link Fine, jeez!
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Link
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Link I wish I could see what he was thinking right now.
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Link Don't worry Princess, the cavalry's on the way.
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Link Looks like we're in trouble, princess! (Said in a African-like voice.)
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Link (After seeing the 90's Kid using his Sega Genesis like a boombox.) I guess I better get rid of this Sega!
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Link That old King is EVIL!
Trivia
- Link is part Saiyan, or part Aryan. Same thing.
- Has been reincarnated multiple times, and is rumored to be the next Dalai Lama.
- Link plays Young Cosette in the musical "Les CD-i".
- Used to be the Best Wii Player of Koridai, but was eventually beaten by M. Bison.
- His worst enemy is not Ganon, but actually the Scatman, who tries to crucify him.
- Even though he is a Nintendo character, he wants a Playstation 3 because he claims he "can't use the Wii's controller."
- He got a job at Gwonam's restaurant, Squadala Burger, in an attempt to earn money to buy a PlayStation 3. It didn't work out because no one came to the restaurant wanting burgers.
- Had a short-lived career as the lead guitarist of the Zora band The Indigo-Go's until the other band members discovered he actually stole the identity of the true lead guitarist, then deceased.
- According to Screwattack, Link's sword is enough for him after all, because his sword was added to their Armory.
- Also, like Darth Vader, Yoda, and The Apprentice appearing in Soulcalibur IV, Link also appeared in Soulcalibur II (Along with Spawn and Heihachi Mishima of the Tekken series, but they never met each other, as they all appeared in different versions of the game, Link in the GameCube version.). Another interesting note is that Link and Yoshimitsu
havehad the same voice actor. - His younger self likes to drink a whole bottle of milk while fighting in Super Smash Bros. Melee.
- Once got a hug from Cremia. He enjoyed it greatly.
- Can't use a crossbow for shit, so he uses the Wii Zapper.
- He actually looks kind of attractive as a girl (see picture to the right)... oh god what have we done?
