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Dr. Robotnik
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.Dr. Ivo Robotnik is a highly popular Youtube Poop character.
Is not to be confused with Dr. Eggman. His evil twin brother from the new-gen Sonic games who resembles Robo Bonanza more than anything.
Career
Robotnik has done many things, among them having created the Robotnik suspender striptease, became Super Robotnik, openly talked about his childhood, became the Robotnik sun, saved the pridelands, became Prime Minister, took too much Viagra for currently unknown resons, piloted a digging machine, conquered Canada, led a funtastic treasure hunt, married Bill O'Reilly, possessed King Harkinian's body, traveled through time in search of the All-Powerful Chaos Emeralds, got engulfed in a dust cloud, made his own set of WarioWare Microgames, declared war on Sir Alan Sugar (a few years after he declared war on the Imperial Guard), and didn't forget to pull that lever. Lastly, Robotnik is also the owner of Robotnik's emporium.
Presidential Run
It was announced on October 8th, 2007, that Robotnik would be running for 2008's president of YouTube though an elaborately designed campaign video. No other characters have announced their intentions to run probably except Rudy Larriva, but many are expected to follow suit.
Likes
- Himself
Dislikes
Robotnik holds strong grudges against Mama Luigi and Sonic the Hedgehog. Loves KFC and hates a LOT of things.
- THAT HEDGEHOG
- Timmy Turner & Jimmy Neutron
- When he loses to Froggo over a bucket of KFC.
- Dio Brando (ruined Robotnik's schemes and all that crap)
- Masahiro Sakurai (He lied to Robotnik that he was going to be in Super Smash Bros. Brawl)
- Da Bears
- Clowns
- Snakes
- An alligator who chased him once
Skills
Robotnik can use adjectives in his sentences very skillfully. He is also a top notch screamer and inventor, his robots Grounder and Scratch in particular, which he created to kiss his penis. His large nose gives him a keen sense of smell, especially when there's KFC nearby.
Robotnik is also known for his dynamic, flexible face which can contort itself in unlimited ways, often defying physics. Both he and Luffy share a biological defect that resulted in their bodies being made of rubber. He has been known to have uncontrollable fits of laughter.
Gossip
- It is rumored that Scratch has an obsession with Robotnik's penis. (See: ScraBotnik)
- Despite his claim, it is thought by many that Robotnik DID forget to pull that lever.
- It is rumored that Robotnik partook in a threesome with Zelda, himself, and Ms. Filkins resulting in Robotnik being the father of Ms. Filkin's 3rd Child.
- There is a VERY good chance that Robotnik is also Santa Claus.
- It's rumored that Sarah is his daughter.
- Robotnik once went to the Lonely Hearts Club and applied to date Makoto Kino, however Sonic beat him to the punch. However after finding out that Sonic was a pervert, Robotnik is rumored to date her.
- It is rumored that Robotnik's "beautiful head" once drifted off into deep space.
- In recent years, Robotnik has been known to frequently confuse the names of his robots, coming up with such fusions as "Scrander" and "Groutch". Alas, Scrander has been confirmed to really exist recently.
- Robotnik often likes to procrastinate, saying "TOMORROW I'LL" whenever he has been assigned something to do.
- Since the fateful day when Osaka had hypnotized the world into hearing her poop idea, Yomi had become Hypnotized into thinking that she was Robotnik for the next two days, as she was seen renditioning the Diploma Dope. One month later, she was infuriated because her appearance on YouTube only had a three star rating. Sakaki watched in horror at the footage of Chiyo Chan being blown up at the end of the video. Tomo started running around the School grounds saying that the incident was Mario's fault since he was with Chiyo at the time; Now he is banned from the city limits of Tokyo, Japan. The Power Star that Mario was about to give chiyo eventually joined Osaka and her minions so that she could make his face seize all the magic balloons in the dungeon of Mr Girrafe's Coney Island Disco Palace so that all the Whos down in Hell will cry "BAAAAAAHHH, HUMKOOP".
- When Rudy Larriva and Mama Luigi announced Hunter Harrison's candidacy for president of the CN Railway, Robotnik was bent on destroying the campaign. Alas, he caved when they offered to haul Robotnik Express for him.
- It is rumored that Robotnik has sued Kingdom Cum over 9000 times due to the never delivered grand prize of unlimited Uctions in the Beautiful Head competition held in 2005. A lesser known rumor is that Mama Luigi had broken in the supplies and stolen them for a rumored new form of AIDS even more powerful than the dreaded Orochi AIDS. It was disproven as someone had already consumed the Uctions and Mama Luigi have claimed that this new AIDS form was a hoax made by Anti-Uction fanboys.
- Bugs Bunny believes Robotnik is Polish.
- Rumoured to have had plastic surgery on a Saturday Morning until his nephew Snively made love to Robotnik (Robotnik's reply was "This was good Snively"), but everyone disapproved so he went back to his loveable pre-Saturday Morning self.
- Enjoys making racecar noises while he eats lotsa spaghetti.
- He built Glados.
- Robotnik once collaborated with Zelda, Link, Luigi, Mario, and Dr. Rabbit to form the Power Rangers. Ironically, Robotnik took the role as the aerobic skinny asian yellow ranger.
Memorable Quotes
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Robotnik's ultimate rival, Sonic.
- SILENCE!
- I hate that hedgehog!
- rrrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrra rrrrrrrrrrrrooo rrrrro rro. A Robotnik's most IMPORTANT WORK!
- MAKE ME HAPPY!
- You missrable mess of microchips!
- Ilikehan2fransomNEVAHftdilisserlNOTE
- This is like bending spaghetti!
- Hurry! We have two more towns to demolish by lunchtime!
- I'm engulfed in a... dust cloud!
- SHOU!
- Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss??
- I smack ya ma!
- I'M DOCTOR ROBOTNIK; I CAN TOUCH WHATEVER I WANT!!!
- OHRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH
- NO!
- ..are programmed and ready too fire on anything...thats blue......HEDGEHOG BLUE that is!
- In a word, they'll all be sunk! Ahahahahahahahaha!
- Prepare to engage the brothermio system!
- And I order you to tell me of any carrots, peppers, and bugs of security, the second Christmas comes up!
- My full name is SUPER Robotnik!
- For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!
- And best of all, Froggo is being kept too busy to even notice!
- Whyyy?! WHYYY?! WHYYYYYYY!??!!
- PINGAS!
- This is not a what...Don't call it a what...call it a WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!
- AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!!!
- I won't just dip her, I'll dunk her! SLAM dunk! Two-handed reverse.
- By standing on that X!(Points to the right)
- I want MORE chimneys! MOOORRRREEEEE!!!!
- What kind of nincompoops are you!?!
- If you don't, I'll melt you down... MY way!
- I just stole candy from 4,822 babies! What a perfect way to whet my appetite for evil!
- Get to the point or your name will be M-U-D!
- You lame brain, knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me while I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!
- NINCOMBOTS!!!
- See you next faaaaall!
- Get out of life!!
- MOOOREE Toilet paper...
- OHOO-WAHEY-AH-HO-WHAAHAHAOOOOOA
- JESUS CHRIST THERE'S TOO MANY QUOTES
- I thought I was rid of you,you fish-fondiling fruitcake!
- Hey! Where did that mountain-top come from?!
- Sonic is trapped in there... and the rest of Mobius is out here! And it's mine! It's mine! All mine! Alllll miiiiiine!!! (pokes at himself with his thumb twice)
- ...but one trouble-making teenager has made me TEAR EVERY HAIR from my BEAUTIFUL HEAD!
- This is one time I'm going to do some rottenness, and that hedgehog won't stop me!
- Why, the fun is just starting! Dahahahahahahahahahaha!
- How did I get in the middle of the ocean?!
- HOPEICE
- E-E-A CAKE
- It's booby-trapped!
- Cut the monitors!
- UH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH-GOHHHH.
- NICE PEOPLE.
- Beans...
- SnooPING AS usual, i see?
- How many times have I told you dingbats to always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded!
- Nice toaster. I must remind my badniks to steal some BREAD for it.
- You can rot in jail for all I care! Ahahahahahahahaha!
- Tea? TEA?
- You took the PENIS right out of my mouth!
- Surrender to me.
- SENINGYOP.
- My...caboose...
- I WAS A VIRGIN!!!
- WHO CARES?
- TOMORROW I'LL...
- PRRR! PRRR!
- GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!
- BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SNAAAAAAKES! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES!
- I NEDA TAKE A DUMP OPEN THE DOOR!!
- OR...DID I SAY THAT ALREADY?
- Penis is always more enjoyable when it's based on the misery of people who love PENISH!
- ...And so I've decided to dedicate my luxury resort to Mobius's first citizen. A bundle of good looks and sheer genius, all wrapped up in that loveable package we call me!
- It's time to unleash my extendo-tower-solar-focusing lens ray, and bake Sonic like a BUG!
- PLUCK EVERY HAIR FROM MY AIDSTASTIC HEAD
- Crap! I think I have AIDS! *sob*
- I need head before I can activate my PENIS!
- You took the PENIS right out of my mouth!
- TOUCH MY PENIS!!!
- Now I can proceed with my cleverest plan of all time - gathering the four most important items in the history of Mobius, the all-powerful Chaos Emeralds! With them, I will possess invisibility, invincibility, immortality, volcanicity, personality, lamp oil, rope, bombs, Koopa Football Players, toasters, Burbank, dinosaurs, Superman, Dumbledore, balls, tree, Underdog, Sparta, Mama Luigi, Uctions, smoke, sex, and finally, the power of life itself! With the power of the Chaos Emeralds, no one can stop me from yiffing Tyrannosaurus Alan!
- Noooo! That's my porn!
- Finally, I've got them all - my precious Chaos Emeralds. Now all I have to do is place them around my neck. Invulnerability! Invisibility! Immortality! And the Power of Life! Put them all together, it spells M-A-D-D-E-A-C-M-H-S-E-D-V-M-A-V-E-D-C-4, the Supreme High Robotnik, the most powerful man in the universe!
- My Robo-Transmogrifier will take care of you prehistoric fuzzballs!
- [We're going back in time] To get the Chaos Emerald of Life, you fools! With it, I can bring Sherlock Holmes back to life!
