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Drew Pickles

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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This is the secret missing article of the Chewiki.


His name is Drew Pickles, and today he going to show you his Chewiki page.

Name: Drew Pickles
Appears In: Rugrats, Barney Bunch
Sex: Male
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Accountant, Investment Banker, Gay Porn Celebrity
Played By: Michael Bell, Microsoft Sam

Drew Pickles is a character from Rugrats. While a fairly ordinary character in his original depiction, the Internet reimagining of him is, with out a shadow of a doubt, the biggest homosexual in the world. His gayness rivals even that of Gay Luigi. Drew constantly desires to have sex with men, shove things up his ass, and drink unhealthy amounts of semen. He is also a fast food connoisseur, as evidenced by several videos on YouTube.

The Drew Pickles videos are very crude in their content, but there still is something oddly humorous to a random Rugrats character partaking in depraved sexual antics while voiced by the text-to-speech Microsoft Sam.

Regular Drew[edit]

The regular version of Drew Pickles, as he appears on Rugrats, is the older brother of Stu Pickles and the father of Angelica Pickles. He's much more mundane than his brother - Drew is an accountant, while Stu is a stay-at-home toymaker - and their personality differences often cause bickering between the two. As father to Angelica, he does a fairly lousy job, given he rarely stands up to her extreme brattiness. Angelica was even able to convince him to not give her broccoli after threatening him so badly it gave him a nightmare where she sued him.

Internet Drew[edit]

In the early days of the Internet, Drew Pickles experienced a rebirth. He would become the face of the Barney Bunch, a group who produced many low-effort, juvenile videos that permeated Newgrounds (and later YouTube, after nearly all of the videos were eradicated from the former site). He was depicted as the most prominent member of the Barney Bunch, even moreso than Barney himself. Drew would leave a carnage of sex and swellness in the wake of any place he visited, and sometimes Barney and other members tagged along for the fun.

Penis Size[edit]

It is unknown how big Drew's penis really is. Many speculate that it is at least 300 miles in length, while other sources say that it could be well over that. Some theorize that the size Drew's penis could actually be growing infinitely, much like the universe. It is also unknown how he manages to keep it in his pants and keep it from ripping the man he is fucking to shreds. One thing is for certain though, it's a huge fucking dick.


As stated before, Drew Pickles loves gay sex, and it's made quite clear that he will do anything to get some, even if it means showing you the true definition of a sick fuck. He is also into coprophagia.

Outside of gay sex, he also enjoys traveling. Especially to restaurants. Although once he gets there it is not unlikely that he will start requesting menu items to have shit or cum on them. And god forbid that you deny his request, unless you enjoy having an asshole the size of a small planet. And fate especially does not bode well for you if you are the establishment's manager...

The Drew Pickles Show[edit]

The Drew Pickles Show (also known as Drew Pickles and the Barney Bunch) was a cancelled 1999 sketch comedy show in which Drew, along with guest stars such as Barney the Dinosaur and Ronald McDonald, would travel to various locations and engage in sexual intercourse with random bystanders and was intended to air on Comedy Central. The then-president of Comedy Central expressed concern mainly with Barney's appearance on the show, as Viacom did not own the character nor did they want children to be negatively influenced by his conduct on the show, and asked Drew to remove him as a guest star. Drew then reportedly threatened to "rape (the president) so hard like hoihoihoifaghoifaghoifaghoihoihoishwshwshwshwblupblupblupblup", leading not only to the show's cancellation but also Drew being sentenced to a year in prison. Only one episode was produced but was never aired and is presumed lost.


  • "Hello, my name is Drew Pickles."
  • "Bag, that was swell."
  • "I will show you the true definition of a sick fuck!"
  • "Chas, you were a tree."
  • "Honesty is always the best policy."
  • "Yes, the stork! A big ugly bird with... feathers."
  • "I think you've been watching too many cartoons."


  • Is obsessed with having 47 pizzas being in his house.
  • Is a fan of Marvel vs. Capcom 2. For real, yo.
  • Has starred in over 69,000 pornographic films.
  • If you don't eat his broccoli, you won't get seconds for dessert.
  • Uses various objects as dildis.
  • Is a very good rapper, for a white guy.
  • Is also the bro of Stu Pickles.
  • In the inaugural 1st Youchew Hungry Games, he was killed by the Duke of Wellington, with his own weapon, at that.
  • Drew wanted to be a stripper, but lacked the education to do so. Now he has to repeat kindergarten.
  • Once got severely angry about his daughter, Angelica, going missing.
  • Once had a nightmare about his daughter, Angelica, suing him for being a bad father and (not to mention) being a sick fuck.

See also[edit]