King K. Rool

This article is filed under Characters.

In Brief

King K. Rool (pronounced Kuh-Rule) is a fat stupid crocodile who is Donkey Kong's archenemy. His ambition in life is to get into Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and is still trying to do despite the game being out already. Apparently, he was excluded because of his hatred of news, calls and tyranny before tomorrow, and his refusal to return the Banana Cream Pie when DK asked for it. He also longs to have the Crystal Coconut because he believes it will make him the richest man in the world.

In Youtube Poop

He's the main villain in the Donkey Kong Country TV show, in which DK is obviously the hero. This version of him is what gets used the most, particularly some of his musical numbers (lower right).

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Personality

He is very fond of lies and fibs, cheats and steals, and his treacherous villainy makes him squeal. He is very stupid, perhaps because of the cancerous tumor in his one eye has been getting to his brain.

He is pathetic as a king, contantly trying and failing to steal the Crystal Coconut. He has, however managed to steal the Kongs' bananas, because he desperately seeks the pleasure of shoving all the bananas into his ass at once.

Where Is He Now?

As of 2010, Tiki Tong and his minions have taken over K. Rool and the Kremlings' spot in annoying the DK family. Reports indicate that K. Rool was so occupied in pleasuring himself with bananas in the Captain's cabin of the Gangplank Galleon that he missed his audition to be the final boss in Donkey Kong Country Returns. By the time he noticed this, it was already Christmas, far too late. He has sworn to return, but who knows, he'll probably die of alcohol poisoning before that happens.

Likes

• Himself
• Anything that praises him.
• Nazism
• A mean and green scaly sheen.
• Treacherous Villainy
• Long walks on the beach.
• Singing
• Making Donkey Kong learn lessons.
• Jumping around in circles, shouting "I'm a Nazi!" over and over again.
• Lies and Fibs
• Cheats
• Steals, Steels, Stealers, and The Pittsburgh Steelers
• Squealing (Only when talkiong about his treachorous villainry.)
• Committing Vices
• Never Tipping
• Butting in lines.
• Never cleaning the dishes. (Infact, it suits him fine.)
• Being such a sleaze.
• Allowing someone to suck his dick.
• Anything in his arse, other than boots.
• Baseball
• Boxing as a giant.
• The Crystal Coconut
• Trying to steal the Crystal Coconut.
• His ship, the Gangplank Galleon.

Dislikes

• Donkey Kong
• Any other type of Kong. (Though it is unknown what he thinks of King Kong.)
• Bananas (When they're not in his ass.)
• People with the nerve to walk in HIS shoes! (The strange thing is that he doesn't wear any shoes!)
• Boots in the arse (like to the right at 4:44).
• Basically anything that isn't himself.
• News
• Calls
• Tyranny before tomorrow.
• Tikis
• Wario's Shipyard
• Krunch (for defecting while sent on a spying mission)

Skills

He has a knack for taking things that don't belong to him, and getting beat up by smelly apes. He can also grow the voice of a demon whenever he wants to get really menacing.

Quotes

• WHY NOT?!?!?
• I'M A NAZI! I'M A NAZI!!!
• TO THE MINE CART!
• I'LL STOCKPILE HUNDREDS! THOUSANDS!
• BEAT MY MEAN AND GREEN AND SCALY COCK!
• KLUMP! DIDN'T I SAY NO NEWS, NO CALLS, NO TYRANNY UNTIL TOMORROW?!
• The water color of J listens. From here, it explains...
• And the thing...starts!
• Your intermediately lumincitensity and gray can justice our thing! A calling: even you sees it. All about us.
• The water cooler, but here it stands for...
• It's a completely different issue from here, and here we see.
• Where Crocodile is the hardest time.
• You care about a meter? See Steve Gunderson think... stars.
• Well it's not a New York, One. You will it begin.
• And inside the North Carolina, he did was - I wasn't going to need in this instance countries.
• And justice are what he called 'you can see the satellite us'.