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AbsoluteBillion
Name: AbsoluteBillion
Real Name: Joe
Sex: Male
Age: 18
Country: USA
Year Started: 2008
Preferred Sources: Anything I can get my hands on
Preferred Methods: Erosion, fast-paced repetition
Preferred Software: Vegas 6
YouTube Account: AbsoluteBillion
In Brief
AbsoluteBillion, or Billion, or A horrible person who is in serious need of a spanking has been a pooper since January 2008, using Sony Vegas for his poops, with 2 months' experience with Windows Movie Maker prior to Vegas. He has since made over 100 videos and (thanks to a certain Pimpsahoy) has an overwhelming amount of subscribers.
He also happens to be a moderator on this Wiki. You were definitely thinking of editing this article and trying to vandalize it until you saw this, weren't you?
Today Billion can be seen in his natural habitat doing nothing but complain about everything, complain about how nobody watches his videos unless they're a Blue's Clues poop, sit on his ass and fruitlessly attempt to get fat, play Team Fortress 2 for half an hour before ragequitting, and on occasion shelling out another video in an effort to symbolize he still does something productive with his time. What a life.
History
Darkscrub (2007)
Before AbsoluteBillion was, well, AbsoluteBillion, he went under the internet alias "Darkscrub," who at this point in his life figured he'd try his hand at making shitty art on dA. This phase went out very quickly, as he soon came upon the astounding realization that his shit was indeed shitty.
He first discovered Youtube Poop sometime in August of 2007 while on the Hotel Mario page of Uncyclopedia, and found one of Bobomb99's poops on the article. He became hooked instantly.
In November he fired up Windows Movie Maker in an attempt to make some of his own videos, and made three horrid poops. They only relied on cliche Sentence Mixing and mostly CD-i. After WMM crashed on him for the umpteenth time, he got tired of it and stopped. Around this time he started lurking the forums and got a feel for Youtube Poop more than beyond the cliche-ridden surface. His opinions hardened, and he was ready to start again. As this happened, Darkscrub was abandoned for not only being a rather shameful part of his history but also that he sounded like a huge Legend of Zelda fanboy with it. The account was officially closed on April 2008 and no trace of its videos exist anymore.
AbsoluteBillion (Jan. 2008 - Present)
Born from the charred remains of Darkscrub, AbsoluteBillion was a hardened young warrior. Equipped with Sony Vegas he made his first video live on January 23, 2008, posting it on the forums the same day. His video was well-received, and even though he finds it a shameful work it served as what would become his style of pooping: Striving for a wide variety of sources, it has made him far more popular than he deserves. He has since popularized the use of Blue's Clues as a source and has earned over 1000 subscribers in his first year of pooping.
AbsoluteBillion would head through times both good and bad but nonetheless persist. There were months where nothing would be made at all, and then there were periods of plentiful pooping. He tried his hand at tennis towards the beginning of his time but soon grew bored with it. (This would re-surge later and result in the formation of "TyphloidFever") Eventually he stopped caring much about what anyone thought of his videos and just started making whatever he felt like. How he's been able to attain so many subscribers is beyond him.
TyphloidFever (Nov. 2010 - Present)
TyphloidFever became AbsoluteBillion's tennis alt, but before I can tell you that story I must tell you this story...
Back in 2000, Billion and Typhlosion were the best of bros. Typhlosion was Billion's favorite Pokemon in Pokemon Gold after all. However in the following years his interest in Pokemon was suppressed and it eventually waned. Though it slowly trickled back to him towards the end of the decade. One day, Billion ended up setting his nostalgia goggles to well-done and he fell into a trance. In this trance he was in a black void, with a Typhlosion standing in front of him. The Typhlosion said to him "Have you forgotten about me? Have you forgotten who you truly are?" and gripped his wrist. Billion felt a searing pain go through him as Typhlosion's grip burned his arm, which trickled up until his entire body was aflame.
When Billion came to, he found that he was now a Typhlosion, and he said out loud "I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO!" and he proceeded to burn down his house with his fire-breath before setting off on sexy world conquest. The end!
Not really, he just thought that it'd be funny to make a play on words with his favorite Pokemon and the disease "typhoid fever" and made that his tennis alt after getting back into tennis. He's also equipped with Thunder Punch, just to let you know.
Youtube Poop
First poop seen
THAT'S THAT CREEPY BOWSER'S LAUGH
First poop made
(made on this account at least) William Shatner Torrents the Orange Box
{{#ev:youtube|uTeGPbMWa8w|320}}
Poop Listing
Listed in chronological order, and not including Poop Tennis, trap videos, video responses, fillers, or Collab entries.
2008
2009
| Video Title | Date | Time |
|---|---|---|
| One Year Later... | 1-23 | 5:23 |
| Koopa Suffers from Hyperthermia | 1-29 | 4:32 |
| Mike Rowe discovers an alternative to male enhancement | 2-21 | 2:06 |
| Coward the Couragely Dog Show | 3-07 | 1:38 |
| Albano + | 3-15 | 1:39 |
| Dong County | 4-01 | 0:55 |
| Hyrulian Mythology and Fanfiction | 4-13 | 1:17 |
| Of Mutts and Men | 4-14 | 2:47 |
| Grilltacular! | 5-11 | 1:59 |
| BLU is Concerned with the Sanctity of their Pizza Party | 5-16 | 1:00 |
| - Albano | 5-18 | 2:54 |
| Bison's Gauntlet | 5-28 | 3:17 |
| A day with the Demolitions Manager of R.E.D. | 6-22 | 0:48 |
| Another day with the Demolitions Manager of R.E.D. | 6-26 | 1:16 |
| Yet another day with the Demolitions Manager of R.E.D. | 7-02 | 1:22 |
| Sun Tzu's "The Art of Yachting" | 7-10 | 1:07 |
| His cuckiness: Big Fat Kicks of Feary | 8-04 | 1:17 |
| Zeldacore | 10-13 | 1:05 |
| Hotel Shatner | 11-12 | 2:30 |
| BUDDY FUCKS OFF | 12-25 | 1:32 |
2010
| Video Title | Date | Time |
|---|---|---|
| Patton's Excellent Adventure | 2-07 | 3:12 |
| Letters From Our Friends | 4-01 | 3:56 |
| The Complete Jake and Billion's Circlejerk-a-Thon | 7-14 | 8:28 |
| Dance Safely! | 7-19 | 1:10 |
| Youtube Poo Poo | 7-20 | 1:32 |
| The Second Coming of Albano | 8-13 | 4:26 |
| Shine On You Crazy Bill - Part I | 9-01 | 1:52 |
| Uhuhuhuh...he said "load"... | 11-19 | 1:24 |
| Samuel L. Jackson's Super Grocery Store Run | 12-01 | 6:50 |
2011
| Video Title | Date | Time |
|---|---|---|
| The Ministry of Lost Clues | 1-23 | 3:28 |
| James LaBrie Devotes His Life to the Study of Waterfowl | 1-25 | 0:34 |
| GryIIs II - Electric-Type Boogaloo | 2-15 | 2:43 |
| The Blue's Clues Collab | 3-18 | 10:06 |
| Mikecraft | 3-19 | 2:10 |
| Ogre and Packmule's Extraordinary Pilgrimage to Mecca | 5-07 | 7:26 |
| god johnny lock the door for once | 5-26 | 1:07 |
| GRYIIIS | 6-14 | 3:31 |
| Poop Talk | 7-07 | 1:03 |
| Shine On You Crazy Bill - Part 2 | 7-21 | 1:10 |
| JOHNNY JOYRIDE'S PREDETERMINED JOLLY JOYRIDE | 8-14 | 1:41 |
| Type Floyd Diabetes / Phloid Fever | 8-16 | 2:06 |
| Boys Not Wearing Breeches Continually Violate OSHA Regulations | 10-02 | 1:13 |
| ReLoads | 11-03 | 1:26 |
| Steve Suffers a Shaq Attack | 11-05 | 2:19 |
Style
Described as "powerpooping" by a fan, a various mix of older more traditional styles to newer, faster-paced and effects-laden methods. I like variety, which reflects in both how I make my video and what I use in it, which may not always appeal to my subscribers but who cares what they think???
Another appropriate way to describe it is not kosher.
Preferred Sources
Pretty much anything, from popular material to more obscure ones.
- Team Fortress 2
- Hulk Hogan
- Super Mario Bros. Super Show
- Blue's Clues
- Man Vs. Wild
- Cheesy TV commercials
- Videogame cutscenes and trailers, though they oftentimes take longer to make into a poop.
Preferred Methods
- Ear Rape
- Stutter Loop
- Erosion
- Deja Vu
- Keyframe Abuse
Preferred Tech
Sony Vegas 5- Sony Vegas 6
- Sony Vegas Pro 9.0
Dislikes
- Windows Movie Maker, after 2 months of grueling work with it, I've grown to despise the program, despite a lot of people doing quite well with it. People also need to accept that even with plugins it really isn't that great of a program overall and should stop pointlessly defending it if anyone does that. It's buggy, prone to crashing and you can't do a lot with it. Deal with it.
- Most fad videos or their responses anyhow; I did a few fad responses around the time I first started pooping, but most require little to no effort, and many try and force it to become a fad.
- People who take YTP more serious than they should, treating it as though it's some kind of avant-garde "art" or getting into debates over preferences in poop. I haven't taken this shit seriously since 2008 and neither should you!
Reception
Criticism
- Is very picky about what parts he uses in poops.
- Contrary to the above line, he often slides in "filler" bits just to add time.
- Considered a "Nazi" by some.
- "Please using ear rape in your videos its so annoying and not funny"
Achievements
- Popularized Blue's Clues as a poop source.
- Currently has over 2500 subscribers. (Only around 1000 actually watch my videos though)
- Has more than one million views on his videos combined.
Associates
In Real Life
- His brother, toadsalsa, who is occasionally seen on the forum, and has only made two poops, but he counts, right?
Online
Poop Tennis
| Versus | Rounds* | Started | Ended | Additional Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Trogdor7190 | 6 | 6-02-08 | 6-09-08 | (Tennis Cup - Bracket 1) Won, went onto Bracket 2 |
| The Robotic Robot | 6 | 6-17-08 | 6-28-08 | (Tennis Cup - Bracket 2) Lost |
| Rillion22 | 6 | 8-1-10 | 9-24-10 | The battle of illions, in my first Tennis match in two years. |
| TheAnnoyingWeaboo | 6 | 12-17-10 | 1-8-11 | TheObnoxiousPokfag vs. TheAnnoyingWeaboo |
| TheChutley | 6 (8) | 9-27-10 | 3-21-11 | Starring Glen Tennis (GEDDIT?) and Grum! Also, 5 completed matches! |
* - The first number indicates how many rounds were initially planned. Numbers in parentheses indicates how many rounds were actually completed, if there is any difference.
Collabs
- MrGenericMan - Oregon Trail
- Erarg - Bad Poops Made Good
- ShadowWario - Chain Poop 2 (round 22)
- Molhal - Source Roulette Collab
- Me with JakeSteel - Jake and Billion's Circlejerk-a-Thon
- Created The Blue's Clues Collab
Influences
Sleep deprivation- JakeSteel
- Terroristx123
- TheChutley
- YTPNews1
- His brother, who sometimes gives him ideas in his videos.
- Let's just say everything he has ever watched ever and that should save us loads of room.
Fans
- XBR4D3NX
- Ninja Coach Z
- AmiralMachin
- NoTAMATZ
- kingplatypus3rd
Mostly Useless Facts
- I go by the username Billion on the Youchew forum, if you're willing to bug me there and haven't realized that that AbsoluteBillion fellow is nowhere to be found.
- Contrary to popular belief I'm not sitting on Capitol Hill.
- I often suffer short, day-to-week bouts of Poopers Block or extreme laziness where I go completely braindead and can't think of anything to do with a video, but I quickly get over it usually and end up forcing myself through one way or the other.
- Though I consider myself somewhat of a perfectionist, laziness and impatience generally gets the better of me.
- My favorite videogame is Team Fortress 2. That's also the only game I play. Ever. No, I don't have any preferred class because anyone who mains one class is a cocktease who refuses to have fun with a game. This is fact, don't argue with me!
- I've recently become a
minorintermediateadvanced Pokemaniac somehow. Aside from getting back into the games I've also bought myself a plush of Cyndaquil as well as started a collection of Pokemon figurines. My favorites are Typhlosion and Xatu. What's wrong with me, you may ask? A lot of things of course. - My favorite genres of music are 70s/80s and progressive rock/metal and my favorite bands are Dream Theater, Pink Floyd, Yes and Judas Priest. However I generally like anything in the rock spectrum from 60s rock to some extreme metal. Modern rock can go die in a pit somewhere though. Other then that I'm also a fan of Jazz, New Age, and anything orchestral really.
- While we're still on the subject of music, I've become more and more of a musician within the past year or so. It's only a natural pathway for someone who spends their day editing videos. I started learning how to play the guitar around early 2009 and have started making my own music in FL Studio in my spare time. Most of the songs I've made so far suck and I know as close to zero as you can get in regards to music theory but I'm getting better!
- While still on the subject of creativity, I use Garry's Mod to make silly Gmod videos and upload them to my alt account, assuming I actually ever finish them.
