Masturbation

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Whoa there, lady! Not in front of a crowd!

Masturbation is the act of playing with one's sexual organs. For men, it only requires one's hand and one's penis. For women, a dildo is used to masturbate, or one can use their fingers. Masturbation strictly excludes any partners, otherwise it becomes sex. However, one can make others masturbate, but that would probably be called molestation. There have been a few rumours that if one masturbates too much, they will get hairy palms or go blind. Then again, these people are probably saying this for propaganda's sake.

Places/Situations In Which One Would Masturbate

• At Home...
  • In one's home bathroom.
  • In one's own bedroom.
  • While on the computer, watching porn.
  • Whenever playing Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball.
• At the drive-in.
• In the old man's Ford.
• Behind the bushes.
• In one's basement.
• Definitely not in public, I'll tell you what. Infact, if one ever does that, even in the dark, they will be just like Pee-Wee Herman.

People Who Love To Masturbate

• Scratch (As seen in the video on this page.)
• Grounder
• Robotnik (Especially on the "DO NOT MASTURBATE" video.)
• Sonic the Hedgehog
• Tails
• Birdo
• Mario
• Chowder
• Feghoot (Three times per day, in fact.)
• Amy Rose
• Most of those who watch any and all porn.
• Zoophiliacs, since real sex with animals is illegal.
• Otakus by both Japanese and American definition.
• Bald Bull (Especially when he's in the tub.)
• Walruses
• Soundwave
• Dracula
• Homer Simpson
• Jenny Wakeman
• Austin Powers
• That lady in Baseball Stars 2 (As seen in the picture below.).
• Furfags
• Edd
• King Dedede
• Gwonam
• George Volcano
• That one fat sumo wrestler that I can't remember.
• Mama Luigi ((S)he especially loves making Yoshi masturbate before bedtime.)

People Who Get Masturbated On

• Dr. Robotnik (By Sonic the Hedgehog and Scratch.)
• Mung Daal (By Chowder.)
• Tails (By Sonic the Hedgehog.)
• Doc Louis (By King Hippo & Aran Ryan.) {For King Hippo, the Doc ended up being a God-like entity and blew the king's head off. As for Aran Ryan, well Aran just ended up becoming more powerful than before.}
• Jenny Wakeman (Either by his human boyfriend Brad, or the Silver Shell, his robot boyfriend.)
• Ed (By Edd.)
• Eddy (Also by Edd.)
• Tyrannosaurus Alan