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Bowser
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.
See King Koopa for more Information A giant turtle like creature that is found in Mario games, in which he is known to Mario as "Bowsuh". He has an obsession with ruining picnics and Gay Luigi. Recently, Bowser gave Mario Aids, but throughout recent interviews, Bowser has hinted that the incident was intentional.
Cultural Heritage: Russian, or so I suppose.
Legal Issues
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Bowser was charged with rape/attempted rape of:
- The Hairspray Queen
- Zelda
- Dio Brando
- You
- Jason Everman
- Steg
The PrincessShe agreed, so it wasn't rape.- Mario
- Luigi in all forms except Mama Luigi.
- Haruhi, although she decided to be a slut and let him fuck her.
- Heavy Weapons Guy
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- Beeswax
- Sora
- Oogtar
- Other unknown victims.
- Blue Koopa (It was more like Masturbation.)
- Retard Mario
- Kooky
- Dr. Rabbit
- Ipo The Reader
- Hinata
- Hanabi
- Jotaro Kujo (He unfortunetly failed. One can never beat the master at his own game.)
- Conker (Failed due to Conker getting Haruhi for Bowsuh.)
- Miyuki-Chan (She gives her killer toast to stop him.)
- Naruto
- One of his Dry Bones soldiers.
- Count Bleck (He failed again, Count Bleck can't die, and can't be touched. That includes being touched by Timpani.)
- Daisy (She didn't let him, and her punch sent him far away.)
- Princess Toadstool
- Tsunade (He stealth-raped her and she never knew what hit her.)
- Princess Peach's Castle (That's right, he raped the building itself.)
Mutation
Bowser recently mutated with Ganon to make Bowserganon.
Quotes
- "muahahahahahahah...."
Trivia
- Translators state that Bowser's a Gidrovlicheskiy engineer with Shui Shui difficulties. This has yet to be confirmed.
- He can only laugh.
- When asked why he ruins picnics, he just laughed and scratched his crotch, hinting that he has crabs.
- Bowser has the ability to mysteriously change size from game to game. He can be as small as Mario, as large as a whale, or become anywhere like that in between.
- He once pissed on a painting of Mario that was hanging in the Louvre.
- According to Malleo, Bowser apparently has gay sex with Link in his spare time.