Gwonam

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Well done, Link!.

Gwonam is a character commonly used in Youtube Poop., Generally regarded as the "Freaky Carpet guy" or "Squadala Guy" or "Pimpsahoy".

His real name is "Al-Saraha Murbad" or "Rajinder".

General Information

Early life

Gwonam was born in 1923 in Saudi Arabia. He had three brothers, Jafar, Goshaman, and Gotseman. Often, the air was polluted by the many oil rigs. At age 22, Gwonam left the country to get away from the noxious gases. First, he moved to London. 4 years later, Gwonam left England, and moved to Sparta. He was still not happy. 3 years after moving to Sparta, Gwonam moved into China, this time he felt happy. He lived in China for 27 years. But then, the Communist government of China decided to fire Gwonam from his prophet job. Gwonam was depressed and didn't know what to do. He took a trip to the U.S. in 1969 to attend Woodstock. He stopped off to eat at Morshu's Dinner Palace and became instant friends with Morshu after putting his mastery of maps to use and explained that Woodstock would not be held on Morshu's restaurant. Gwonam was given a coupon for free carpet flying lessons as a reward. Gaining interest in magic, he decided to drop his hippie lifestyle and become a genie/wizard. He attended the University of Squadallah from 1970-1974, which is where the famous line "Squadallah, we're off!" comes frome, being the University's chant. Then, he met King Harkinian , the king of the land of Hyrule. The king took Gwonam to Hyrule and asked him to be his royal Genie Prophet Guy. Gwonam accepted, and became happy once again. He has been living in Hyrule ever since.

It is not confirmed on how he became homosexual, but it is speculated that these traits began in his teenage years. Scarce records show that he snuck kisses with other teenage boys in the neighborhood. He would even kiss his own brothers. This means that these boys were gay long before gay was well-known.

Modern life

Gwonam is an old guy on a magic carpet that brings about a sacred prophecy. Gwonam claims that the prophecy states, "Only Link can defeat Ganon", but the prophecy clearly says, "Squiggle squiggle squiggle fish squiggle squiggle". His catch phrase is the famed, "Squadala!" which he says everytime he sets off on flight or when he gets an erection. It has been rumored that Gwonam has a deep obsession with taking Link and Zelda to IHOP. He also seem to like to stand in a same posings and movements when Link meets him in his magic carpet while he (Gwonam) tells Link about Ganon's minions. he also likes to tell Link to "look" or "see" Something..

Cultural Heritage: Saudi Arabia

Controversy

Gwonam appears to have an obsession with cum, and seems to enjoy Link's company. It has been rumored that Gwonam is a pedophilic homosexual due to his particular liking towards Link.

Posessions

Gwonam, Link, King Harkinian, and Zelda when they finally have their acclaimed dinner.

Gwonam seems to be quite the item master and is a large help when it comes to aiding Link on his quests.

• The Map
• A Magic Carpet
• A Strange Turban Type Hat Shower Cap.
• Weird Facial Hair
• A Strange ability to see into the future to find out what Ganon's minions are doing
• A lamp which allows him to "see the Sand Crumies"
• Cum
• Possibly some birds.
• Evil Birds!
• YouTube
• Lots of random CDs, especially from his favorite band, "The Byrds".

Quotes

• Your Majesty, Ganon and his minions as seen in the Island of Koridai.
• It is written, only Link can defeat Ganon.
• There is no Time. Your sword is enough
• SAQUALLADAH!! We're off!
• These are the faces of evil. You must conquer each.
• Here's the Map. Where you wish to go...
• LOOK AND SEE, GORONU...
• AT LAST, you have the vision to find my House! Now, go with many blessings!
• Go with many Zelbinems!
• Well Done, Link! Ganon is now emprisioned. CUM!
• Look, already Koridai is returning to peace and harmony. The Birds are singing. Isn't it beautiful?
• YOU, LINK, ARE THE HERO OF KORIDAI!!!
• You must die.
• CUM!
• Here I CUM!
• Your Majesty, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon!
• Impa, you are a slut!
• Ganon is a prick.
• Well done, your majesty!
• Your Majesty, Link is a fucking faggot who sucks my cock!
• NO, U!
• Zelda, the King is DEAD!!!
• May the squadillah be with you!
• What the fuck do you want from me now?!
• Fine, I will sing for you once again.
• That is enough. I'm too tired.
• Squadafuckinglah!

Trivia

• His favorite band is The Byrds.
• He once worked for the Angry German Kid.
• Was originally casted for the role of "Genie" in Aladdin, but was replaced at the last minute for failing a drug test.
• He has six toes on his left foot, but no one knows about that (until now}.
• His claim that "only Link can defeat Ganon" has been disproved by the fact that Ganon has been defeated by Zelda and Game Luigi.
• In about a million and one years, Gwanom will be turned into a mechanical genie, and put on an island. There he will meet a giant baby and Flapjack.
• Gwonam tried to sell his flying magic carpet to Link in 1978, but Von Vulture claimed it was fake and 30 years later Link still has not bought it.
• He gets Rick Rolled when doing acid.
• Once said that The King totally burned Zelda and Link.
• He has a YouTube account called nijjhar1.
• Once owned a restaurant chain called Squadallah Burger hiring Link as an employee, but since it only sold burgers, it failed in the light of Duke Onkled's Diner that also sold pizza, potato chips, spaghetti and pizza pie.
• Is the current owner of Gwonam's Pizzeria which at one point was Morshu's Dinner Palace. Mayor Kravendish works there as the Maitre D' and Curly is the waiter. The King however dislikes the place because of the lack of hamburgers.
• He once sang the I.M. Meen song. He sang it beautifully, but he could only do the first part. The reason why he didn't do the rest of the song was because he got posessed by something.
• Link masturbates to his Facebook pictures. That Faggot!
• The birds are singing. Yes, it IS beautiful.