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Difference between revisions of "Texas"
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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*H-E-B (anyone that does not live in texas have not read of it) | *H-E-B (anyone that does not live in texas have not read of it) | ||
*Whataburger (Same thing as H-E-B) | *Whataburger (Same thing as H-E-B) | ||
Latest revision as of 15:15, 29 February 2020
The State Seal of Texas
- SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! What am I?
- Patrick: ...Stupid?!
- SpongeBob: No, I'm Texas!
- Patrick: What's the difference!?
Well, howdy! This here's Texas. We sure is the 2nd largest state in the United States in both population and area, behind California and Alaska respectively. 'Dem crafty bastards.
It's also the homeplace of anime-dubbing company "Funimation", and thus the place where the Funimation Update Quickie is shot. Yee-haw!
Our Bretherin' Who're From Texas[edit]
- Hank Hill (The star quarterback for Arlen High School and grandiose propane salesman.)
- Bobby Hill (The fat, retarded son of the propane salesman, Hank Hill.)
- Sandy Cheeks (We kindly thank her sheriff soul for banning racist sponges and starfishes. We truly owe her a grand honor.)
- Ted Cruz
- The Engineer (The greatest engineer we've seen in this side of Texas...wait.)
- Dr. Rabbit
- TheHappyFungus
- 1upclock
- Geibuchan
- Chaofanatic
- George W. Bush (Our great country's 43 president of these United States.)
- Scott Porter
- Todd Haberkorn
- Clay
- Lyndon B. Johnson
- Dwight D. Eisenhower (Was born in Denison, TX, although he grew-up in Kansas, spent most of his life in the Army, then retired to Gettysburg, PA.)
- Peppy Hare
- Ronald McDonald (He makes random appearances in a McDonalds that's found in Dallas.)
- Vanilla Ice (GO NINJA, GO NINJA GO!!!!!)
- Dark Fox
- Gabrielpika
- AwesomeGuy117
- H-E-B (anyone that does not live in texas have not read of it)
- Whataburger (Same thing as H-E-B)
Trivia[edit]
- We was once our own country.
- Our cows, as well as steaks, are well known by us.
- We has our own breed of cow, too, the Texas Longhorn. Coincidentally, one of our college team names are the Texas Longhorns. Ain't that a funny coincidink?
- Texas is a state known for its BBQ.
- The world's largest helium well is located in Texas.
- We have always voted Republican in elections since 1980.
- Texans take great pride in our state. So don't mess with Texas, bitch!
- The nickname of Texas is "the Lone Star State".
- Our state flag looks like we done ripped a part of the U.S.A.'s flag out, increased its size, and then called it a day. Despite this look, we have one of the more popular state flags around.
- Interestingly, the building that Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK ended up becoming a museum for John F. Kennedy and his very strange murder case.
- Contrary to popular belief, the Alamo was originally a mission that was founded by Indians. It wasn't until the late 18th century that it became a fort-like building.
- We also have a special slogan saying that everything's bigger in Texas". But that's because it's true!
- Especially our's nice, juicy steaks.
- Here in Texas, Dairy Queen gone an' made it's slogan "That's what I like about Texas" Some folks 'round 'ere wonder if there are any other states that have DQ. Some even get a big head from it. Others feel that the slogan's announcer don't like anythin' else about Texas much!
- We done had Route 66 run through our state, until it was dissolved in the '80s.
- Texas used to have a couple of different flags before we went and became a part of the U.S.A.
- We have lots of sports teams (but not enough when compared to California) who're sadly rivals towards each other.
- The Texas Rangers are going to the World Series! The Texas Rangers are going to the World Series!
And they are going to play against the San Francisco Giants in order to try and win it. YEE-HAAW!They lost. Dagnabit!- The very next year, the Rangers done gone to the World Series again, to lose AGAIN, this time to the St. Louis Cardinals. Dammit, dammit, dammit!
- The San Antonio Spurs just beat the Miami Heat in the NBA Finals! YEEEEE-HAAAAWW!!!!!!
- According to Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy.
- We's the home of Toyota USA. Yee-haw!
- The Houston Astros won the World Series after 'Ol Harvey struck. YEE-HAAAAAW!
