King Dedede

This article is filed under Characters.

Basically

King Dedede is the ruler of Dreamland. He is very Fat, he doesn't do anything for his kingdom as he is either smoking lots of weed, laughing like a retard, sitting on his throne repeatedly, having orgies with people or just pigging out like the fat penguin/bastard he is. Among the things he is obsessed with includes sardines (or SAHRDEENZ as he would call them), Plant Encyclopedias, OCTOPUSES, eating chips, torturing his servant Escargoon/Dr. Escargon/Purple Snail Scientist Man/whatever and DIDIDstrucking.

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King Dedede is a de-de-de.

Legal Issues

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Dedede before his plastic surgery. Awesome.

• Is known for smoking and selling Weed. His addiction is so bad, that he can smoke 500 sacks of it in 1 day without suffering an overdose.
• Stole 600 pizzas from Mona Pizza, however, the location of the pizzas is still unknown and they are all presumed dead by being eaten by him.
• He set King Harkinian´s castle on fire once because he is stupid.
• Using the tax money to buy more Plant encyclopedias and SAHRDEENZ, LOTS OF ´EM.
• Unlike popular belief he wasn't the one who commited genocide on houses. That was Gordon Freeman.
• He punched the illegal man for snitching too much.
• However he does commit genocide on watermelons.
• He got sued for being so fucking fat, until Fat Mario sucked some fat out of him.

Ancestry

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Woman speculated to be King Dedede's mother.

King Dedede is often said to be the son of the black Queen from the banned Merrie Melodies short "Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs". Not only do they share a similar appearance, but they're also quite alike in terms of personality: greedy, gluttonous, and known to hire mercenaries to eliminate their opposition (the queen hired Murder Inc. to "black out So White", King Dedede orders monsters from NME to "clobbah dat dere Kirby". There's no official word on any of this but recent DNA testing shows support for the two being related.

Quotes

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• "You can have, MY BIG GAY DANCE!"
• "AH NEED A MONSTAH TA CLOBBAH DAT DEH KIRBEH!"
• "Looks like an aleeyun invaduh."
• "Well, you see this ain't no monster, it's my new pet monster."
• "WHAHAHAHA!"
• "EYE WAUNTED TUH BEE DUH MAYN KARAKTUH!"
• "Heheheh, I was born ready!"
• "*belch*"
• "You gullible fool!"
• "With 2-way TVs I can watch them watching me! Hehehehe! I got everybody in town glued to mah channel!"
• "The creature musta come here to destroy Cappy Town. Destroy it 'cause Kirby lives here! Alla Cappy Town's doomed 'less Kirby goes away!"
• "That kid's got it all wrong, this here's a king-size misunderstandin'! Any events and situations depicted on Channel DDD are purely fictional!"
• "Grr! All right, call the cavalry!"
• "Enough, Kirby! Face Twin Fire Lions!"
• "Ack! Can't anyone beat that guy?!"
• "Now you pay, Kirby!"
• "You made it here... Now, arm yourself!"
• "Our grudge will be settled at last..."
• "Meet my powerful secret weapon... the brand-new Dedede Hammer!"
• "HE DON'T SCARE ME NONE!"
• "Y'all better get crackin' or I'll give you all a whackin'!
• "Let's go! Hup Hup! No slacking off!"
• "What is going on here?!"
• "You can't be mean to my Waddle Dees! Only I can be mean to my Waddle Dees!"
• "Hey, that tickles! Okay, that hurts!"
• "(GEYAH,) UNCLE!"

Trivia

• He eats with two forks.
• An amateur Pokeman trainer, he suffered a humiliating defeat against Cuzco.
• Is in Super Smash Bros. Brawl because he bribed Sakurai to put him in instead of Dr. Robotnik.
• He once inhaled a negative ion. (It almost caused the end of the world.)
• He just can't read.
• He's sometimes mistaken as Santa Claus.
• Ya see, this ain't no monster, it's his new pet monster, it's his new pet monster, it's his new pet monster...
• The only thing he likes to eat is monster.
• Also wants to see eat that hedgehog!

How can I help you, Cake Dedede?!

• He was originally supposed to be the star of the arcade, Colecovision, Atari 2600, and Nintendo Famicom game Donkey Kong, instead of Mario, but Mario can handle a hammer much more smoothly than King Dedede. No, that's not a sexual reference. Or maybe it is.
• In Kirby's Adventure for the NES, King Dedede was a normal-sized black penguin, instead of him being in his normal attire.
• In the aforementioned game, he was actually a good guy who was blamed as bad guy by Kirby. Some say this accusation was based only on the fact that King Dedede was black. Martin Luther King Jr. will look into it.
• Has put on a mask and went ape-shit before.
• In Brawl, he sounds like King Hippo.
• Sometimes, in the right mood, he can perform something called "The Big Gay Dance."
• He likes to stare at trees for hours.

King Dedede during a scene in a rape/sex tape.

• He once copied King Koopa's plan to use television to turn the cavepeople against Mario and Luigi (in Dedede's case, he replaced "cavepeople" with "Cappies" and "Mario and Luigi" with "Kirby").
• According to Meta Knight, King Dedede has a "Monster Dick". Then again, he does tend to have sexual dreams/fantasies of him, so yeah.
• He tends to sound like Foghorn Leghorn, Fire Man(in Megaman Powered Up) and George W. Bush. Somehow, Warner Bros, Capcom and George W. have yet to notice this.
• He holds the record for most weed smoked, at 513 sacks. He set this record in 1983. Unlike Laughing Panther (the previous record holder), it only did minimal brain damage, though it did cause him to have the munchies permanently, which is how he became fat.
• Is (possibly) from Texas.
• Has been proven to be illiterate.
• He went to Disneyland and became the new Donald Duck.
• Kirby thinks he is naughty for swimming in the Fountain of Dreams.
• He often masturbates with Escargoon when not trying to kill Kirby or staring at trees.
• When eating an apple, he puts on his rapist smile, as seen in Kirby Super Star.
• Tiff insists that he is evil. Her mother Lady Like does not think so, but this is because she believes no one is evil. She must be a Buddhist.
• He, along with Shredder, Dr. Robotnik Dr. Eggman, Dr. K, and Dial Bolic were briefly recruited by Wayne Cramp from Cramp Twins to help take over the Fox Box. The plan failed because 4Kids mailed a bunch of DVDs exposing it to the viewers.
• Even though he wants to CLOBBA DAT DAMN KIRBEH, he ends up helping him (as well as Meta-Knight and one of his Waddle Dee minions) in Kirby's Return To Dreamland.
  • He also helped DAT DAMN KIRBEH in Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards but he, one of his Waddle Doo minions, and Adeleine (the girl painter) only helped when Kirby needed their help, and he was only playable in a couple areas where Kirby rode on his back as if he was some sort of disgusting wild animal, which he is not.
• The Plant Encyclopedia is an illegal offspring of The Enclosed Instruction Book. It was created when Dr. Light attempted to fuse the DNA of Mewtwo and The Enclosed Instruction Book and make Mewthree. The experiment went wrong when King Dedede accidently dropped some weed into the DNA.
• One time, both the King and Escargoon did a sex tape in which its first scene invoved the King raping Escargoon. You can see a scene from the tape right above you.
• This king's the king of all D's.