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Gordon Freeman

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
Gordon in his HEV suit.
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Gordon Freeman's most kickass weapon ever conceived; the Gravity Gun! It gets even more kickass when it turns blue!
Someone has his brother John as a "homeboy."

Gordon Freeman is the VERY smart protagonist in The videogame series Half Life. He previously worked at a science facility known as Black Mesa before they managed to rip a dimensional hole through the planet. Today he works as a puppet of the G-Man, and in exchange for his services is forced with the daunting task of saving the human race from extinction.

The HEV suit

The HEV suit is Mama Luigi's ultimate weapon, it is a suit that spreads aids and deflects lulz. Only few have been able to destroy the HEV suit, including Fat Mario and the Heavy Weapons Guy, both of which were killed shortly afterwards.

His crowbar

Gordon first finds his crowbar in Hyrule during the Black Mesa incident. Apparently Gordon used it to kill a fatass alien called the Heavy Weapons Guy.

Inability to talk

Gordan Freeman has never talk his entire life, due to an incident involving AIDS, and Anime Luigi. The story is far too graphic for this wiki, so it won't be told...

Liked By

  • Half-Life Fans
  • His brother, John Freeman

Disliked By

  • The Combine
  • Master Chief
  • Halo-tards & Gears of War-tards who think that those two series are the only good series' in the first place.
  • Gordon Frohman


  • UI have discovered new radoactive isatope but it is so vollatile that it does not have a half-life but quarter-life so we must observe with hasty
  • UIt is been stoled!
  • NO, NOT ALL OF Dallas!
  • Ew must escapes out of here fastly
  • This is Gordon Freeman how do we contain teh meltdown? I know!
  • Hooray I scucceeded at winning the mission
  • its time to end this ones and for all!
  • you should come here earlier next time
  • NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!
  • What's the status of the fast lane?


  • He is excellent with guns somehow, despite having little experience prior to alien invasion.
  • He blew up a casserole. I'm not sure if that's cool or stupid, but he did do it.
{{#ev:youtube|fOvglodUIcA|320}}Ew must escapes out of here fastly!
  • His friend Barney does owe him a beer.
  • He killed Barney for not giving him a beer.
  • Was co-inventor of the Gravity Gun, which many have proclaimed to be the greatest invention ever conceived.
  • According to a series of fanfictions he has a brother named John Freeman and a nephew named Henry Freeman, and after his supposed death in the fanfic becomes revived first into a zombie goast by Headcrab, and then after a timeskip by the Combine and gains the alias "Dark Man", who John promises will make him suffer.
  • Also according to a fanfiction had a co-worker cow-orker named Jimm, who later gets blowed to smitheroons by a fierce wave of radiation.
  • He has the best fanfiction ever called Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences and best spin-off called Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction.
    • Gordon Freeman is not my homeboy!
  • He was the "someons" who wrote "u shudnt come here" at Ravenholm, which was right next to Ravenholdm, the home of the pants being dead.
  • Gordon Freeman is now these hands...
  • One time, he pushed quarters into World War II. What is this I don't even.