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Difference between revisions of "Ash Ketchum"

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{{char}}
 
{{char}}
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[[Image:Episode_-4_Challenge_Of_The_Samurai_074_0001.jpg|thumb|Ash when masterbating to pictures of Emo Luigi]]
+
{{CharBox
 +
|name=Ash Ketchum
 +
|image=Ash BW.png
 +
|caption=I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS!!
 +
|shows=Pokemon
 +
|sex=Male
 +
|dob={{Birth|1988}}
 +
|nationality=Japanese
 +
|occupation=Pokemon <s>Master</s> Trainer
 +
|cast=Veronica Taylor, Sarah Natochenny, Kayzie Rogers
 +
}}
  
−
== In Brief ==
+
==Description==
−
'''''Ash''''' (sometimes called ''Ass Ketchup'') is a teenager from the [[anime]], [[Pokemon]], who won't fuck [[Misty]](or any other girl) and lost his virginity to [[Emo Luigi]]. How this happened was never really clarified or determined as [[Emo Luigi]] has never met Ash, nor has Ash ever seen even a picture of [[Emo Luigi]]. [[Ash]] has, however, been raped by [[Mama Luigi]] and managed to scream [[Emo Luigi]] after he was driven to an anal climax. Ash will never become a Pokemon Master because he always (on purpose) ignores all of the rare pokemon waiting to be caught. ''''''Ash''''''s favorite Pokemon/sex partner is [[Pikachu]]. Ash also has a rare disease which prevents him from ever reaching puberty, much to the delight of Michael Jackson. Naruto also has this disease. Oh yeah, and Ash's mom is a MILF.
+
[[Image:Episode_-4_Challenge_Of_The_Samurai_074_0001.jpg|thumb|Our hero doing what he does best; Masturbating behind the bushes.]]
 +
[[image:Gun.png|thumb|Ash, seen here one second before he got shot in the face by Kaizer, because of how much of a bastard he was.]]
 
[[Image:Uhyee.png|thumb|This is what Ash's [[Pikachu]] looks like.]]
 
[[Image:Uhyee.png|thumb|This is what Ash's [[Pikachu]] looks like.]]
 +
[[Image:Pokemon.gif|frame|Ash partying hardcore.]]
 +
'''''Ash Ketchum''''' (sometimes called ''Ass Ketchup'') is the ten-year-old star of the [[anime]], [[Pokémon]]. His goal in life is to one day become the so-called "Pokémon Master," and to do so he must capture every existing Pokémon on the planet. These efforts are futile; he will never become a master as he always (on purpose) ignores rare Pokémon waiting to be caught, and he continually releases his Pokémon to the wild just because he can. And it sure doesn't help when another hundred or so of the little bastards are released every few years.
  
−
== Likes ==
+
Ash also has a rare disease which prevents him from ever reaching puberty. For nearly ten years since the start of the show, he has stayed the same exact age (Ten or eleven), but this disorder does not seem exclusive to him. However, as a result, Ash is doomed to wander the planet aimlessly until the end of time or until the show is finally canceled which right now seems like an impossibility.
−
*Gay butt sex.
+
 
−
*Drinking some [[cum]].
+
Ash once became a Pikachu. We're not shitting you, he really [[fuck]]ing did. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZPVbR8sTbY Here's some video footage for you].
−
*[[Emo Luigi]]
+
 
−
*[[Pikachu]]
+
==Likes==
 +
*[[Pikachu]] ([[Sex|Especially]] [[no|when he is horny.]])
 
*[[Robotnik]]
 
*[[Robotnik]]
−
*Smoking illegal toast.
+
*[[Brock]]
−
*[[Chad Warden|Gay Niggaz]]
+
*[[Masturbation|Masturbating]]
 +
*[[Misty]] (Except when arguing with her.)
 +
*Punching [[Pikachu]]
 +
*Stealing/destroying little girls bikes.
 +
*Checking out yet another new Pokémon
  
−
== Dislikes ==
+
==Dislikes==
−
*[[Misty]]
+
*[[Gary Oak]], his rival who <strike>is</strike> was more likely to become a Pokemon Master then he, and <strike>is</strike> was better than him in almost every conceivable way possible. (This was proved wrong when Ash defeated him in battle back in the mystical and magical year of 2002.)
−
*[[Brock]]
+
*Paul, his other rival who abused his Chimchar and continually beat him until they reached their Sinnoh League match.
 +
*Trip, who called him a hillbilly and beat him with a level 5 [[Snivy]].
 
*[[You]]
 
*[[You]]
−
*[[Sex|Pussy]]
+
*[[Team Rocket]] (Especially since he thinks that they have [[no]] lives at all.)
−
*[[Boobs]]
 
 
*[[Me]]
 
*[[Me]]
 +
*Rifle scopes (They were the reason why Ash started punching [[Pikachu]].)
 
*The other Ash from the Evil Dead series.
 
*The other Ash from the Evil Dead series.
  
−
== Liked By ==
+
==Liked By==
 
*[[Misty]]
 
*[[Misty]]
 
*[[Brock]]
 
*[[Brock]]
−
*[[You|Pimpsahoy]]
+
*[[May]]
 +
*Serena
 +
*[[Pimpsahoy]]
  
−
== Disliked By ==
+
==Disliked By==
−
*Every form of [[Luigi]] but [[Silver|Mama Luigi]]
+
*Every form of [[Luigi]] but [[Silver|Mama Luigi]].
 
*[[Nostalgia Critic]]
 
*[[Nostalgia Critic]]
 
*Pokemon Fans
 
*Pokemon Fans
 
*[[M. Bison]]
 
*[[M. Bison]]
−
*Ash from the Evil Dead movies
+
*Ash Williams from the Evil Dead movies.
−
*Just about everybody in existence.
+
*[[SNK|Ash Crimson]].
 
*[[GoGoRiki]] Characters
 
*[[GoGoRiki]] Characters
−
*Robotnik (The reason being his usage soared after XMHunter came on Youtube)
+
*[[Robotnik]] (The reason being his usage soared after XMHunter came on [[Youtube]].)
 +
*Shaymin (At first.)
 +
*Arceus (Also at first.)
 +
 
 +
==His Pokémon==
 +
The following is a list of all the Pokémon Ash has ever owned (barring ones that are pre-evolutions). Even the ones he got rid of. (So much for being a Pokémon master, right?)
 +
[[Image:AshapologizestoMinnesota.JPG|thumb|right|Ash ended up having to apologizing to [[Minnesota]] afterwords.]]
 +
*[[Pikachu]] ([[M.Bison|Of course]] he would.)
 +
*[[Bird|Pidgeot]]
 +
*Squirtle
 +
*Bulbasaur
 +
*Charizard
 +
*Butterfree
 +
*Raticate
 +
*Oddish
 +
*Mankey
 +
*Primeape
 +
*Kingler
 +
*[[Cum|Muk]]
 +
*[[Steak|Tauros]] (30 of 'em to be precise.)
 +
*[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|Rapidash]]
 +
*Lapras
 +
*Slowpoke
 +
*Snorlax
 +
*Fearow
 +
*Haunter
 +
*Beedrill
 +
*Bayleef
 +
*Totodile
 +
*Quilava
 +
*Hoothoot
 +
*Noctowl
 +
*Aipom
 +
*Heracross
 +
*Donphan
 +
*Larvitar
 +
[[Image:Hillbillies.png|frame|This is the first time that anybody discovered that Ash was a [[:Category:Southerners|hillbilly]] after all this time!]]
 +
[[Image:Prima.png|frame|That lucky, motherfucking bastard.]]
 +
*Sceptile
 +
*Torkoal
 +
*Corphish
 +
*Swellow
 +
*Glalie
 +
*Torterra
 +
*Infernape
 +
*Staraptor
 +
*Buizel
 +
*Gible
 +
*[[Scorpion|Glis]][[Batman|cor]]
 +
*[[Bird|Unfezant]]
 +
*[[Oshawott]]
 +
*[[Tepig|Pignite]]
 +
*[[Snivy]]
 +
*Scraggy
 +
*Leavanny
 +
*Palpitoad
 +
*Boldore
 +
*Krookodile
 +
*Froakie
 +
*Fletchinder
 +
*LOS HAWLUCHA-DORES
 +
*Goodra
 +
*[[Rouge the Bat|Noibat]]
  
 +
==Quotes==
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|Pikachu, I choose you!}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|[[Yes|I'm stupid?]]}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|I CAUGHT (insert Pokemon name here)!}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|Maybe it's a... ''Cowterpie!?''}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|Now I can see lots of lucky stars!}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|Maximum Hardness!}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|PIKACHU, THE HORN!}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|He should...use Charizard's flame thrower attack!}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|If anyone's out there, come out! And if you're a monster or a ghost, stay there.}}
 +
{{poopquote|Ash Ketchum|That Magnemite's following Pikachu around like it's a streaker!}}
  
−
[[Category:Gay Characters]]
+
==Trivia==
 +
[[Image:2cxhv2b.gif|frame|right|Wut.]]
 +
*Ash is likely based off of ''"Red"'' from the first Pokemon games.
 +
*Stole [[Misty]]'s bike in the very first episode, which is one of two reasons why she follows him around constantly. You can use your imagination for the second reason.
 +
*Earns many Gym badges by not actually beating the Gym Leader in a fair match, but instead gets them by [[Aran Ryan|cheating]] (case-in-point: in his battle against [[Brock]], his Pikachu set-off the sprinkler system, which defeated Brock's Onyx) or by pumping his [[Pikachu]] full of steroids (see the battle against Brock again).
 +
*Ash has a father who is only mentioned, never shown. Supposedly Professor Oak had an affair with Ash's mother. This may be the reason why we haven't heard from either of them for a few seasons.
 +
**There was also a rumor that [[Giovanni]] was his father, for he too dated Ash's mom when she was a teenager. But this has been disproved by the fact that Giovanni's son is in fact the rival character from ''Pokémon Gold/Silver''.
 +
*Ash likes to beat off to [[Misty]]'s Facebook pictures.
 +
*He simply HAS to twist his hat around backward before throwing a Poké Ball at a Pokémon.
 +
*In one episode he went by the fake name "Tom Ato".
 +
*He loves Lucky Star, especially when being zapped by Pikachu.
 +
*He thinks that Arbok evolves into Seviper, which is, [[M. Bison|of course]], [[wrong|WRRRRRROOOONNNNNGGGG!!!!]]
 +
*Once lost a Pokémon battle to Father Time from ''[[Histeria]]'' (Bulbasaur's Vine Whip was no match for Big Fat Baby's slobber attack).
 +
*He thinks that if an older brother makes fun of you for shaving, you should use Charizard's flame-thrower attack.
 +
*His theme songs steadily chronicle his realization of how he continually sabotages his chances of achieving his goal.
 +
*Nothing can stop him Diamond and Pearl.
 +
*In Japan, he is named Satoshi, after the creator of Pokémon, Satoshi Tajiri.
 +
*He believes that [[American Football|Vikings]] live in [[Minnesota]].  That Ash is a confused fellow.
 +
*Between himself and Charizard, they are incredibly [[Money|rich]], due to the trust funds between them, and the growth over time.
 +
**Sadly, they were also held hostage by N and [[Cilan]], who demanded ransom.
 +
[[Category:Pokémon‎]]
 +
[[Category:Bisexual Characters]]
 +
[[Category:Rich Characters]]
 
[[Category:Anime Characters]]
 
[[Category:Anime Characters]]
 +
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Super Smash Bros.]]
 +
[[Category:Transvestites]]
 +
[[Category:Children]]
 +
[[Category:Nintendo Characters]]

Latest revision as of 08:50, 12 October 2024

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

Error creating thumbnail: File missing

I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS!!

Name: Ash Ketchum
Appears In: Pokemon
Sex: Male
DOB: 1988 (age 35–36)
Nationality: Japanese
Occupation(s): Pokemon Master Trainer
Played By: Veronica Taylor, Sarah Natochenny, Kayzie Rogers

Description[edit]

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Our hero doing what he does best; Masturbating behind the bushes.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Ash, seen here one second before he got shot in the face by Kaizer, because of how much of a bastard he was.
Error creating thumbnail: File missing
This is what Ash's Pikachu looks like.
Ash partying hardcore.

Ash Ketchum (sometimes called Ass Ketchup) is the ten-year-old star of the anime, Pokémon. His goal in life is to one day become the so-called "Pokémon Master," and to do so he must capture every existing Pokémon on the planet. These efforts are futile; he will never become a master as he always (on purpose) ignores rare Pokémon waiting to be caught, and he continually releases his Pokémon to the wild just because he can. And it sure doesn't help when another hundred or so of the little bastards are released every few years.

Ash also has a rare disease which prevents him from ever reaching puberty. For nearly ten years since the start of the show, he has stayed the same exact age (Ten or eleven), but this disorder does not seem exclusive to him. However, as a result, Ash is doomed to wander the planet aimlessly until the end of time or until the show is finally canceled which right now seems like an impossibility.

Ash once became a Pikachu. We're not shitting you, he really fucking did. Here's some video footage for you.

Likes[edit]

Dislikes[edit]

  • Gary Oak, his rival who is was more likely to become a Pokemon Master then he, and is was better than him in almost every conceivable way possible. (This was proved wrong when Ash defeated him in battle back in the mystical and magical year of 2002.)
  • Paul, his other rival who abused his Chimchar and continually beat him until they reached their Sinnoh League match.
  • Trip, who called him a hillbilly and beat him with a level 5 Snivy.
  • You
  • Team Rocket (Especially since he thinks that they have no lives at all.)
  • Me
  • Rifle scopes (They were the reason why Ash started punching Pikachu.)
  • The other Ash from the Evil Dead series.

Liked By[edit]

Disliked By[edit]

His Pokémon[edit]

The following is a list of all the Pokémon Ash has ever owned (barring ones that are pre-evolutions). Even the ones he got rid of. (So much for being a Pokémon master, right?)

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Ash ended up having to apologizing to Minnesota afterwords.
  • Pikachu (Of course he would.)
  • Pidgeot
  • Squirtle
  • Bulbasaur
  • Charizard
  • Butterfree
  • Raticate
  • Oddish
  • Mankey
  • Primeape
  • Kingler
  • Muk
  • Tauros (30 of 'em to be precise.)
  • Rapidash
  • Lapras
  • Slowpoke
  • Snorlax
  • Fearow
  • Haunter
  • Beedrill
  • Bayleef
  • Totodile
  • Quilava
  • Hoothoot
  • Noctowl
  • Aipom
  • Heracross
  • Donphan
  • Larvitar
This is the first time that anybody discovered that Ash was a hillbilly after all this time!
That lucky, motherfucking bastard.
  • Sceptile
  • Torkoal
  • Corphish
  • Swellow
  • Glalie
  • Torterra
  • Infernape
  • Staraptor
  • Buizel
  • Gible
  • Gliscor
  • Unfezant
  • Oshawott
  • Pignite
  • Snivy
  • Scraggy
  • Leavanny
  • Palpitoad
  • Boldore
  • Krookodile
  • Froakie
  • Fletchinder
  • LOS HAWLUCHA-DORES
  • Goodra
  • Noibat

Quotes[edit]

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

Pikachu, I choose you!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

I'm stupid?

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

I CAUGHT (insert Pokemon name here)!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

Maybe it's a... Cowterpie!?

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

Now I can see lots of lucky stars!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

Maximum Hardness!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

PIKACHU, THE HORN!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

He should...use Charizard's flame thrower attack!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

If anyone's out there, come out! And if you're a monster or a ghost, stay there.

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

That Magnemite's following Pikachu around like it's a streaker!

Trivia[edit]

Wut.
  • Ash is likely based off of "Red" from the first Pokemon games.
  • Stole Misty's bike in the very first episode, which is one of two reasons why she follows him around constantly. You can use your imagination for the second reason.
  • Earns many Gym badges by not actually beating the Gym Leader in a fair match, but instead gets them by cheating (case-in-point: in his battle against Brock, his Pikachu set-off the sprinkler system, which defeated Brock's Onyx) or by pumping his Pikachu full of steroids (see the battle against Brock again).
  • Ash has a father who is only mentioned, never shown. Supposedly Professor Oak had an affair with Ash's mother. This may be the reason why we haven't heard from either of them for a few seasons.
    • There was also a rumor that Giovanni was his father, for he too dated Ash's mom when she was a teenager. But this has been disproved by the fact that Giovanni's son is in fact the rival character from Pokémon Gold/Silver.
  • Ash likes to beat off to Misty's Facebook pictures.
  • He simply HAS to twist his hat around backward before throwing a Poké Ball at a Pokémon.
  • In one episode he went by the fake name "Tom Ato".
  • He loves Lucky Star, especially when being zapped by Pikachu.
  • He thinks that Arbok evolves into Seviper, which is, of course, WRRRRRROOOONNNNNGGGG!!!!
  • Once lost a Pokémon battle to Father Time from Histeria (Bulbasaur's Vine Whip was no match for Big Fat Baby's slobber attack).
  • He thinks that if an older brother makes fun of you for shaving, you should use Charizard's flame-thrower attack.
  • His theme songs steadily chronicle his realization of how he continually sabotages his chances of achieving his goal.
  • Nothing can stop him Diamond and Pearl.
  • In Japan, he is named Satoshi, after the creator of Pokémon, Satoshi Tajiri.
  • He believes that Vikings live in Minnesota. That Ash is a confused fellow.
  • Between himself and Charizard, they are incredibly rich, due to the trust funds between them, and the growth over time.
    • Sadly, they were also held hostage by N and Cilan, who demanded ransom.
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