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United States of America
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 03:54, 8 September 2010 by AbsoluteBillion (talk | contribs) (→Trivia: Rewording just because at this point China's army is the size of America's population in terms of personnel.)
America. FUCK YEAH!! Coming again to save the motherfuckin' day, yeah!
The United States of America is a country in North America that is south of Canada and north of Mexico. It was officially founded on July 4, 1776 with the signing of the Declaration of Independence in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
The empress of America is Wendy O.
America is also what Bandit Keith is obsessed with.
History (in a nutshell)
- In the 1770s, an uprising against British tyranny and taxation without representation gave birth to the American Revolution, which was between the Continental Forces and the British Forces.
- 1776: The United States of America is officially declared independent with the ratification of the Declaration of Independence at the Pennsylvania State House in Philadelphia, which would, from that day, be known as Independence Hall.
- 1781: The British surrender, then recognise American sovereignty.
- 1787: A new constitution is written, and is ratified within a few years.
- 1802: Meriwether Lewis and William Clark make their famous expedition to the Pacific coast.
- 1803: French Louisiana is bought by the United States.
- 1812: The United States and Britain declare war upon each other, for a number of reasons.
- 1814: Washington, D.C. is burned by the British.
- 1815: End of the War of 1812 with Treaty of Ghent.
- 1836: Battle of the Alamo.
- 1845: Texas is annexed by the United States.
- 1846: Mexican-American War starts between the United States and Mexico.
- 1848: Mexican-American War ends. California is obtained by the United States.
- 1849: California Gold Rush starts.
- 1853: Gadsden Purchase. Southern Arizona and southern New Mexico are obtained by the United States.
- 1861: Abraham Lincoln sworn in as president, causing the Southern states to secede from the union over Abe's abolitionist stance.
- 1863: Battle of Gettysburg fought in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. Union victory.
- Abraham Lincoln also gives the Gettysburg Address at the site of the formerly mentioned battle.
- 1865: Southern forces surrender. American slavery is abolished completely. The Southern states repatriate.
- Abraham Lincoln is assassinated at Ford's Theatre, becoming the first president to be assassinated.
- 1870s: Reconstruction of the Southern states.
- 1898: Spanish-American War is fought. The United States obtains Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines.
- 1899: Phillipine War starts.
- 1902: Phillipine War ends.
- 1916: United States grants Phillipine independence.
- 1917: Lusitania is sunk by the Germans. United States declares war on Germany, enters World War I.
- 1918: World War I ends.
- 1929: Stock Market crashes, causing mass losses of money and sending the world in to a Great Depression.
- 1930s: Great Depression. Various dust bowls also exist.
- 1941: Bombing of Pearl Harbour. United States declares war on Japan and Nazi Germany, entering World War II.
- 1945: Nazi Germany and Japan surrender. World War II ends.
- 1946: Cold War with Soviet Union starts.
- 1950: Korean War starts.
- 1953: United States leaves Korean War.
- 1955: Vietnam War starts.
- 1963: John F. Kennedy assassinated.
- 1960s: American involvement in Vietnam War escalates.
- 1969: The United States puts a man on the Moon.
- 1973: United States leaves Vietnam War.
- 1974: Richard Nixon resigns as President, the first and so far only President to ever resign.
- 1976: Bicentennial celebrations.
- 1979: American embassy in Iran taken over by Islamist students.
- 1981: Ronald Reagan is inaugurated. 20 minutes later, the release of American hostages.
- Late 1980s: Diplomatic relations between the United States and Soviet Union improve.
- 1989: End of the Cold War declared by the United States and the Soviet Union.
- 1991: Gulf War is fought and won.
- 1995: Dot-com bubble starts.
- 2000: Dot-com bubble bursts.
- 2001: Terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon occur on September 11. Another attack is thwarted, causing the plane to crash in to a field in Pennsylvania.
- 2003: Start of the Iraq War.
People Who Live in the United States
Poopers Who Live in the United States
Trivia
- The United States has the 3rd highest population in the world. They're only behind India and China respectively.
- Youtube Poop was invented in the United States by SuperYoshi.
- Remarkably, it was invented a few miles north of where the United States was founded (Philadelphia).
- In addition, many poopers are American.
- Many sources are made in the US, though many of these were animated elsewhere.
- The United States has the most expansive military in the world.
- They also produce the most cheese of any country, making 4,275,000 Metric Tonnes of cheese yearly, more than double of Germany (the 2nd largest producer)'s 1,927,000 Metric Tonnes of cheese, or France's 1,884,000 Metric Tonnes of cheese.
- The Decepticons love attacking American cities, particularly Detroit, New York City, and Washington, D.C.. In fact, Megatron actually shot at the Washington Monument, leaving Optimus Prime, Grimlock and Slag to put it back together.
- If anime has taught us anything, it's that all Americans have blonde hair and blue eyes, and all women are greatly endowed.
- Strong Bad's worst nightmare is a single picture of the United States wearing tight, white brand underdrawers. Obviously, he had one too many pudding pops.
- Frieza believes that evil is with the United States.
- There's a party in the USA.
