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Magic Johnson

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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MAGIC! MAGIC JOHNSON!!! :D

Name: Earvin "Magic" Johnson
Appears In: The Super Mario Brothers Super Show
Age: 51
Nationality: American

Magic Johnson is a former basketball player for the Los Angeles Lakers, magician, and trophy-earner, who despite his busy schedule, is still capable of finding time to do guest spots for The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!. Luigi hates him, and refuses to fix his trophies.

History

As Magic was a very successful basketball player, Luigi recognized him immediately when he popped up in the Mario brothers' cupboard. Magic Johnson had a simple request; he wanted Luigi to repair his old high school trophy. But, Luigi, shunned by his peers for his noted racism, rejected the offer and slammed the door on Magic's face! Mario returned home immediately afterward. Luigi made no mention of the effect, as he did not want Mario to think he was still racist. In the meantime, Magic went to a repair shop to get his trophy fixed, mumbling about how he'd never go to the Mario Brothers for plumbing.

In a timeout during a professional NBA game at the L.A. Lakers' home, he congratulated Homer Simpson for saving the Earth via telephone. Later on in a (different?) basketball game, Magic recalled the shame that Luigi's racism brought on him, and fumbled. However, in mid-fall, he managed to successfully shoot the ball and win the game. He called this "pulling a Homer". Luigi kicked himself when he saw that. He then decided to be a fan of Charles Barkley from here on out.

He's currently considered the greatest L.A. Laker of all time. That might change when Kobe Bryant retires, but he'll still be considered one of the best around.

Quotes

  • Hi, I accidentally did a triple-double sky hook, ally-oop slam dunk jam on my old high school trophy. CAN you fix it?
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Magic's calling you to say how awesome his Lakers team is when compared to your team.
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Magic Johnson's ready to slam jam on some fools who play against him.
  • Wow. Now that's fast! See ya in a couple hours!
  • Good, you got 5 minutes
  • Guys, GUYS, I really got to get rollin'.
  • Yeah, just like new, but it's not my trophy.
  • I brought my bowlin' trophy.
  • I get it, you're just kidding me, right?
  • There it is! How'd you get it so shiny?!
  • Looks like I just pulled a Homer!

Trivia

  • Once became a magician. Amazingly, this is not the source of his nickname.
  • With a little help from the Medic, he has a teleporter. (Medic gave Magic directions as to where it goes.) The teleporter has a strange tendency to transport people to the Mario Brothers' cupboard. The teleporter was destroyed during Luigi's disastrous cupboard slamming.
  • In the 2010 NBA Jam game (available for the Nintendo Wii, the Xbox 360, and the Playstation 3), Magic will use his new teleporting skills to show all these new bastards in the NBA who's the real boss. Tricky bastard!
  • Also, in an ironic twist of fate, Magic commented that he wouldn't in a million years join up with Larry Bird and Michael Jordan to be in one ultra-mega NBA team, when he not only had help of his own during the 1980's via Lew Alcindor Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and James Worthy, but he'll be a boss teammate with Larry Bird in the aforementioned 2010 NBA Jam game.
  • Once advertised for some sort of insurance on TV or something like that.
  • According to a Data East Neo Geo game called "Street Hoop", once you get someone named "Arthur Pinus" on the court, everybody knows that Magic's on the blacktop.
  • He's considered by many to be one of the greatest point guards of all time, although some Canadian punk named Steve Nash is trying his best to knock that unofficial title out of him.
  • He was once rumored to be an owner for the Detroit Pistons. This ended up being false.
  • Is currently the only rookie to win both the Rookie of the Year and the NBA Finals' MVP award in the same year.
  • Back in the 1970's, he joined Michael Jackson's Jackson 5 for some tours because he was friends with Michael.
  • Jiminy Cricket is a fan of Magic before he was even born. Wow.
  • Is (sadly) a real-life example of a victim infected with AIDS. (Or in his case, HIV.) :(
    • Despite his HIV shit, he decided to play for the famous Dream Team of 1992 (which included Charles Barkley and other great players), won an All-Star MVP awarrd in a year where he didn't even play in the NBA for the L.A. Lakers, came out of retirement not once, but twice, and even coached a few games for the Lakers! Now that's something to be proud of.