Link

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I Won

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Link in his latest game.

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link throwing up

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Saiyan Link.

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Fat Link.

Link is a civilian of Hyrule. He usually hangs out at the castle, hearing bouts about what makes true warriors by the King himself. Link thinks many things are boring, and according to the Scripture of Utter Bullcrap, is the only person who can defeat Ganon. (Many times this prophecy has been proven false. The King, Mario, and Zelda along with many others have defeated Ganon.)

Link is the current standing Hero of Koridai. Cultural Heritage: Denmark

Sexual Orientation

It has been assumed Link is a homosexual, seeing has he has tried to sneak kisses with Gwonam at multiple times. However, this has been dis proven as he has had sex with Zelda, Impa, and Lady Alma many times. Another rumor is that he is Bisexual.

Diet

Link also likes to eat. He has been known to have some cooking skill, but he almost burned down all of Hyrule after foolishly putting spaghetti in a toaster. He is also addicted to Volvic mineral water, and cakes (normally from the baker in Sakado, although the claimed "cakes" are actually loaves of bread. That two-timing S.O.B.). He has also been known to sneak sips of wine from the king's goblet. If he gets hungry enough, he will eat an Octorok.

Skills

Link is a master swordsman and great at burning George The Volcano and Hyrule. As mentioned above he has above average cooking skills and he is great at using/wielding magical weaponry. He has a talent for carrying a limitless amount of stuff, as well as being able to use ordinary items such as Aunt Jemima syrup in combat.

Fight with the King

It seems that Link has fought with the king at one point, It all started when Link was watching his TV when "Live and Learn" came on and started to dance to it, as he was dancing to it the king said "MAH BOI" to him, but Link did not listen to him. The King then destroyed the TV with a Ki blast, This made link irritated, and so he used Kaioken and tried to hit The King, Only to be pushed aside, The king(in a Vegeta-type voice)said that was he was weak, Link then used his hidden move, the fabled "Ass Kamehameha", Which killed the king, He then started to cried over his broken TV for a while until George the Volcano used his Volvic Revive to bring his TV back which mde Link happy again. The full fight can be seen here: (See bottom-right)

Possesions

• lamp oil
• rope
• Bombs
• A lightsaber
• Lotsa guns
• Young And Anal 15 video tape
• The king's chalice
• His sword

Likes

• Zelda
• Nobita
• Impa
• Sonic (Games and Sonic X)
• Sega Genesis
• Xbox 360
• Nintendo Wii
• The Philips CD-i
• Atari 2600
• Sega Dreamcast
• PS3 (Doesn't have one though.)
• Gwonam
• Dorami
• Bombs
• Guns
• Tits
• Rubies
• Saying "(Hey,) EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE ME, Princess!"
• Consuming rock-spitting terrestrial cephalopods.
• The band KISS.

Dislikes

• Doraemon
• The Delilah Show
• Chad Warden
• Ronald McDonald (hell who donest)
• The Chintendo Vii
• His other forms (Pervert Link and Frog Link)

Trivia

• Link is part Saiyan.
• Link plays Young Cosette in the musical "Les CD-i".
• Used to be the Best Wii Player of Koridai, but was eventually beaten by M. Bison.
• His last name is rumored to be The King, but is unlikely, since he is not a King, has had it off with Zelda, and does not support incest like the King does.
• His worst enemy is not Ganon, but actually the Scatman, who tries to crucify him.
• He wants to see the fight on Pay-Per-View. What fight you might ask? Who the fuck knows and who the fuck cares!
• Even though he is a Nintendo character, he wants a PlayStation 3 because he claims he "can't use the [Wii's] controller."
• He got a job at Gwonam's restaurant, Squadala Burger, in an attempt to earn money to buy a PlayStation 3. It didn't work out because no one came to the restaurant wanting burgers.

Memorable Quotes

Link I won!

Link Gee! It sure is boring around here!

Link What are all those heads?

Link How about head?

Link I guess I better get going!

Link Im so hungry, I could eat an octorok

Link I'll grab my stuff!

Link My BOI!

Link I can't wait to bomb some dodongos!

Link That old King is no match for Ganon!

Link I just wonder what Ganon's up to.

Link Golly!

Link Das a Homer!

Link But Dad, I want to see the Pay-Per-View!

Link I wish I could see what he was thinking right now.