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Star Wars
Star Wars is an immensely popular sci-fi/action series created by George Lucas in 1977, and ruined forever in 1997. It now stands no chance of being good ever again, unless you erase your mind, then watch the original trilogy on VHS. Regardless, you will wonder why you have a strange need to throw up, so the only service is for all copies of the prequel trilogy to be burned in an inferno. The charred remains will be fed to a pool of frog-like shark creatures, who will then be ejected into space with bombs strapped to their backs so they will never see the light of day. RUST IN PEACE, you bitch!
Despite this, the original version was finally re-released on DVD in 2006.
Characters
- Luke Skywalker
- Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker
- C-3PO
- R2-D2
- The Emperor/Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious
- Princess Leia
- Lando Calrissian
- Han Solo
- Chewbacca
- General Grievous
- Darth Maul
- Qui-Gon Jinn
YogaYoda- Admiral Ackbar (IT'S A TRAP!)
Pizza the HuttJabba the Hutt- Jar-Jar
ShitsBinks
The Movies and Their Plot
Warning: Spoilers ahead. If you haven't seen them, get off of your fat ass and go see them all now, now.
Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
Qui-Gon and his apprentice, Obi-Wan, meet a retard and a young boy that does Pod Racing, who will eventually become Darth Vader. Qui-Gon dies, and Obi-Wan trains Anakin.
- This movie features probably the most annoying character to ever be conceived, Jar-Jar Binks.
Episode 2: Attack of the Clones
Too shitty, and isn't even relevant, so moving on...
Episode 3: Revenge of the Shit Sith
Anakin finally becomes Darth Vader, and tries to kill his former master, Obi-Wan. He fails to do so, and almost dies, but is rescued by the Emperor. Meanwhile, the Empire is formed.
Episode 4: A New Hope
A farm boy, Luke Skywalker, finds these droids, saves Princess Leia, and blows-up the Death Star. Also, Obi-Wan is killed by Darth Vader.
Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back
The Empire finds the Rebel Base on Hoth and captures it, though Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia escape. They all end-up in this city in the clouds, where they are betrayed. Meanwhile, Luke and Vader fight, and Vader wins. Vader then tells Luke that he is his father, and Luke tries to commit suicide. Also, Han Solo is frozen in Carbonite.
Episode 6: Return of the Jedi
They rescue Han Solo, then meet Teddy-bear things. Meanwhile, Lando blows-up the second Death Star. They then celebrate greatly.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
You cannot prove that this film exists.
Trivia
- George Lucas ruined them all in 1997, except for the ones that didn't yet exist, which were the prequel movies.
- Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones sucked. However, they weren't as bad as the Clone Wars movie that was released after Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith, which some would say is the only good prequel film around.
- They have one of the largest fanbases. Like most fanbases, it is composed primarily of nerds.
- It holds the record for most movie merchandise in history.
- It also has several cartoons.
- As well as multiple disco remixes of its music, all from Meco.
- Apparently, according to some weird people, you have to hate some things in order to become a true fan of Star Wars.
- There are also some awesome Star Wars video games that were released for consoles like the Famicom's Star Wars game, the NES' The Empire Strikes Back game, SNES' Super Star Wars games, many on the Nintendo 64 and the Playstation, and the current consoles that we have, as well as the 2 arcade Star Wars games from the 1980s, which used colour 3D vector graphics.
- Most of these were made by George Lucas' video gaming company called LucasArts, also known as LucasFilm Games, who also made games like Maniac Mansion, Zombies Ate My Neighbors, and the Tales of Monkey Island.
- They also released a Star Wars Christmas Special. Yep, it was bad. So bad in fact, that George Lucas considered it his personal shame in his entire film career. The Christmas Special was his personal shame over shit like Howard the Duck and Jar-Jar Binks.
- It is the source of 2 internet memes: the "IT'S A TRAP!" meme, as well as he "DO NOT WANT!" meme.
- Not to be confused with Star Trek.
