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Hyrule
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What Is It?
Hyrule is the kingdom in the Legend of Zelda series and is the second or third most retarded place you'll ever find in any video game or real life. The first more retarded place being the Coney Island Disco Palace.
History
Hyrule was originally a secret military base in New Mexico that hid aliens, zombies, the fucknut named The Green Giant and other things inside. Also known by Glados, Gordon Freeman and related people as Black Mesa. Then one day a retarded King came by and got a boner and named it Jerry. This King was then assassinated by King Harkinian and he got a bunch of his medieval knights to invade the base and downgrade the technology. He turned this once thriving military base into the Castle Town of near underpopulation that it is known as now. New Mexico was forced to relocate to the deserts of southwest North America, between Arizona and Texas. To this day New Mexico denies these allegations but everyone knows it's true.
Over the course of centuries Hyrule has been the victim of many natural and man/Ganon-made disasters. These include but are not limited to hostile takeovers, becoming shrouded in darkness, shrouded in twilight, and flooding. Despite these, Hyrule has always pushed through the toughest of times, generally thanks to the efforts of a young hero in a green skirt who keeps getting reincarnated.
Hyrule is also very prone to erosion, and the maps of the land throughout its known existence are very inconsistent.
People That Actually Live In This Shitload of Fuck
- Link
- Zelda
- King Harkinian
- Gwonam (Also has a summer home in Koridai.)
- Ganon
- Morshu (he owns a shop in Koridai, however.)
- Impa
- Tingle - Traveling amateur cartographer and flamboyant homosexual extraordinaire.
- Saria
- The Zoras
- The Gorons
- Talon
- Ingo
- Malon
- Everyone who's ever been in the Legend of Zelda series. (Minus the Phillips CD-i games.)
People Who Have Tried to Destroy Hyrule
- Ganon
- Agahnim
- Ganondorf ...Wait, all three of them are the same person.
- Zant
- Vaati
- Dr. Robotnik - Tried to destroy its forests on the Robotnik Express. Distracted after he passed a KFC.
- Vegeta - But Goku stopped him.
- Dr. Evil - Threatened to destroy it if he wasn't paid 100 rupees. Though he was paid, Dr. Evil soon discovered that 100 rupees is the equivalent of 10 dollars.
- Megatron - Detected high traces of energon in the Fairy Fountains. But nobody was fooled by the presence of a gun in Hyrule and they had him burned.
